Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Retrospective Draft Grades (and Captain Grades)

I'd like to stir up the pot a little more, so I figured I'd look back on the drama-filled Rapture draft in dreary Orlando almost a month ago. Draft rankings are indicative more of value for position than pure performance.

1. Irish Dave - D-

He opened with a huge upset loss to Gorecki and apparently didn't play well until the quarry holes. He avoids the F by earning an individual point and bringing his magic pen which surely helped his team in other ways.

2. Chandler - D

He organized the whole thing and teamed with Buchert to destroy the Katie/Darren alt shot team. The duff on 18 nearly earned him an F. His off course game was also severely lacking this year. He should have taken the Dub route and assisted in overserving Darren all weeking to take the easy Sunday win against Drippy. Hangover Darren is the worst golfer in the league.

3. Buchert - D

The first three picks combined for 2.5 points, of which Buchert only had 0.5. He's also afraid to express his true feelings to Big John.

4. Big John - A+

Big John never let his team lose an entire point and made awesome breakfasts. He almost won $40,000, too. He's got a lot of love to give (almost as much as whatever was coming out of his back), and maybe someday he and Greg will "bury the hatchet."

5. Greg - C

He managed to be on the winning team the first two days, but failed to take advantage of an old man in dire straits on Sunday. Losing the ugliest match of the weekend was tough, but he did it in a fabulous manner.

6. Reid - C-

I'm setting myself up to be berated with fat jokes, but Reid didn't have a great weekend on the course, regardless of his footwear. That said, he did get stuck with some tough matchups. John was playing lights out, Brendan was solid, and Katie got too many strokes on him. He still pulled out a half point with Gary despite being an underdog in every match.

7. Robbie - B

He started slow, but managed to help win two points for the grays with good rounds on Saturday and Sunday. Probably shouldn't get the blame for Chandler's bad round on Friday, either. Party Bear Robot (PBR?) was a good pickup at this point in the draft. Apparently he also shot up the dream foursome rankings over the weekend.

8. Tall Mike - B-

He came out on fire on Friday, but was well cooled off by the quarry on Sunday. Despite being the overwhelming favorite to win his singles match, he completely imploded off the tee on the home stretch. He did manage to make Gary antsy enough to want to blow the 3-foot putt to go home before the rain, and therefore gets a bump up to a B-.

9. Darren - A

He's kind of like fsu in that his greatest Rapture win was actually a tie. Instead of letting the Moses drip through his fingers, he bowed up and held on strong like a smoker to his pack of Marlboros. Good value pick here, like reds in hard packs at a good sale at 7-11.

10. Geoff - A

Getting 1.5 points this late in the draft is as solid as the chances that he'll wear a shirt embroidered with his company's logo. Check his taxes and make sure he's not writing them off illegally.

11. Dub - C

Dub's performance on Friday probably contributed to Buchert being off, and his concern about being paired with Gorecki in alt shot proved mostly unfounded. He managed to salvage the weekend with a great round after heeding Reid's advice to keep pressure on Mike to win an unfavorable matchup. Also, his shirt game was pretty strong, and not just in tensile strength (getting the fat joke in before Reid). Had he hit the four three footers he missed, this might have been an A.

12. Brendan - A

Contributed to two team wins in big ways. I didn't enjoy playing against him and Mike Ho on Saturday because they were killing it on the recovery shots. Brendan was sinking long putts all day. He did very little hunting of crocodiles, though, which was puzzling.

13. Mike H - A

Again, he played great with Brendan the one round I was with him. He said it many, many, many times, but put a wedge in his hand and he'll be on the green.

14. GOOOO!!!-recki - B

Not like Gary had a choice here, but it ended up working out WAY better than anyone would have thought 4 weeks ago. He played well on Friday to help the team to a win, and hit some big putts and was solid on Saturday. He had Dave on the ropes until the quarry on Sunday, too. All in all, the weekend was probably better for Mike than anyone else just to get confidence back. He still hates women, though.

Gary GPA - 2.06

Buchert was in talks for going 1-1, and Chandler is usually able to break 90, so at the time they seemed like good picks. Folks say that handicaps are overrated, but so are talented golfers, too. I'd take 10% off the grade for not showing up for the playoffs and picking an odd color, too.

Katie GPA - 2.63

She cheated on her draft by copying Big John's picks, but she proved a worthy captain in the end. And getting the first pick ended up paying off. Big John falling into her lap must have hurt, but it also helped her team immensely. Her skirt game was meh, but she persevered in the playoff and sealed the deal. I also like the tough of the ballmarkers to promote team unity. I hope championship coozies are on the way for her team.

I hope the blog stays active in the offseason. It'd be great to get Faz stats back someday. It'd also be great to get Faz back at a Rapture. That is, unless I'm 17th next year and need him to bail so I can play. I'll try to keep some content coming, and maybe finally get to that post about Brendan. My newest kid is supposed to be here in late November, so let's get in some golf before I'm grounded. Not on Florida football days, though.

Monday, August 21, 2017

2017 Rapture Recap

Great weekend up in Inverness. The houses worked out well, the courses were fun, and we only had a brief rain late Saturday. For the value, I think it was a phenomenal trip.

The actual golf, was a borderline disaster with many surprises.

Gorecki and Gary destroyed Dave and his Ho in Four-Ball. Nobody could believe it, and Gorecki won a ton of side-bet money with that point. Katie's team won the other three matches pretty easily, with only one of those involving some late round action (Greg learned to putt!).

Chapman was also a surprise, with Gary's team pulling back to within one point on the weekend. Once again, JW and Gorecki put up a great fight despite ultimately falling short. Gary and Reid fell apart at the end, barely hanging on to halve their match, which turned out to be critical to the Blue Team. The other matches were beat downs. Team Gray felt confident heading into singles.

The only thing shakier than this photo by Darren, was our golf game.

Gary's squad was able to make up that one point deficit, but it was ugly:

- Dave took care of Gorecki as expected.

- Robbie built a huge lead, only to lose the first four holes on the back nine and scraping out a win in the quarry.

- Katie won 4 holes in the quarry to stomp Reid.

- John shocked the world winning 3 holes in a row to close out Buchert.

- Gary finally took down Greg in a terrible match that saw both players in the high 90s (gross).

- Moostie fell apart in the quarry and lost to JW. He also almost killed everyone with lightning strikes, as he refused to pick-up despite putting 2+ balls into the water/rocks on every hole. I believe on 15 Mike made a nine, and my group had to watch every... painful... swing... and practice swing... and drop... and seriously I thought we were going to get struck by lightning. Pick up and move on!

- Geoff had the comeback of the week, winning 5 of 6 holes to bounce back from 3 down.

- Chandler and Darren played one of the worst matches of all time, shooting 95/101 (gross) to tie. However, Darren made two 7+ foot putts on 17 and 18 (with most of the league watching) to halve the match. Very clutch considering the amount of shit golf that was being played.

So for the first time ever we had a TIE. For some reason, we knew this was going to happen and we were prepared for a sudden death match between Gary and Katie. But despite our planning, Gary was checked out and NOT ready to play. Upon learning of the tie, he got frustrated and rushed through what was the worst playoff I've ever seen (somehow worse than the turd Darren and I laid on our final hole).

Katie lipped out a putt for bogey, giving Gary a chance to stay alive with a 3 foot double-bogey putt. This after a 30 yard hook found a bunker... which was blasted over the green... which was then chipped short... and then lagged 3 feet wide. The putt barely touched the hole as it slid by. Neither team knew how to react.

2017 Rapture Winners
Katie and the Blue cats won the 2017 Rapture! I hope everyone had a great time and enjoyed the courses. While our 2017 season is officially over, we're going to do a bunch of outings between now and January. Stay tuned and stay active!

Katie with The Moses!

Monday, August 14, 2017

Summer 2017 Season Handicaps

With another great season in the books, I thought it would be nice to put things in perspective and see who's improving and who's regressing - especially going into The Rapture.

Now that Chandler has posted Rapture handicap and stroke info, below will show how each players' handicap has changed from the beginning of this season to the end - with the 'Last Change' showing the latest handicap adjustment differential (8/1 - 8/15).

The Kitty Kats surely have a bold strategy going into the Rapture, dropping 5 stokes since 8/1.  Not a single player increased their handicap in that time. Looks like they prefer to go in hot rather than sandbag.

Although the Garyatrics have a hard time remembering the good ol' days when they used to light cats' tails on fire* just for fun, they sure haven't forgotten the cardinal rule of Rapture prep - don't lower your handicap right before the event!  As a team, they are +0.6 since 8/1. Whether intentional or not, we'll see if this kind of protectionism works out for them.

On the season, both teams dropped their handicaps by about 8 strokes!  With a league per person average of -0.9.  The number of people on each team increasing vs. decreasing their handicap, along with the sizes of those handicap changes, were relatively even between the two teams as well.  Should make for a good matchup.  

Be careful interpreting this as a who's hot, who's not, because while there is some validity to it (if you're shooting lower, you're getting better), the real question will be: can those that lowered their handicap keep up their high level of play?  And, of course, you should consider many of our 'better players' with lower handicaps will tend to be more consistent and therefore have less variance in their play and as a result, their handicaps.

Regardless, props to JW, Tall Mike, Chandler, Big John, Katie, Robbie, Reid, and Casey for dropping their handicaps between 2 and 5 strokes!  The average for those who lowered their handicaps was -2.8, while those who increased theirs, did so only by +0.8...okay, well +1.1 if you include Gorecki's +3.4 outlier.  Nice job to everyone as a whole, keep up the improvement - that is the goal anyway!

Oh...someone else also lowered theirs by -0.4 for the season..but I've been staring at this list for so long the names are beginning to blur together.  I'm sure I'll find it soon.

Summer 2017 Handicap Performance

*Disclaimer: DPT Golf league does not condone animal cruelty - Human cruelty in the form of constant berating, badgering, and ridicule of and by its members via commentary on this blog is condoned, if not encouraged.

2017 Rapture Handicaps

Here we go! Strokes in parenthesis:

Round 1 - Four Ball
(80% of course handicap, played off the lowest cap in each group)

Men - WHITE (70.4/130) ; Katie - RED (69.3/123)

Match 1 - Katie (11) / Greg (4) vs. Chandler (0) / Robbie (3)
Match 2 - Darren (4) / Tall Mike (5) vs. Buchert (0) / JW (7)
Match 3 - John (0) / Brendan (6) vs. Reid (1) / Geoff (9)
Match 4 - Dave (0) / Mike H. (2) vs. Gary (6) / Gorecki (18)

Round 2 - Chapman (Alt Shot)
(60% of course handicap for low cap, 40% for high cap. Played off the lowest team cap in each group)

Men - BLUE (68.2/117) ; Katie - RED (66.9/109)

Match 5 - Darren/Katie (8) vs. Chandler/Buchert (0)
Match 6 - John/Greg (0) vs. Gary/Reid (0)
Match 7 - Dave/Tall Mike (0) vs. Geoff/Robbie (6)
Match 8 - Brendan/Mike H. (0) vs. JW/Gorecki (10)

Round 3 - Singles
(80% of course handicap, played off the lowest cap in each match)

Men - DARK GRAY/GREEN (70.2/127) ; Katie - WHITE/SILVER (69.1/129)

Match 9 - Dave (0) vs. Gorecki (17)
Match 10 - Mike H. (0) vs. Robbie (3)
Match 11 - Katie (9) vs. Reid (0)
Match 12 - John (3) vs. Buchert (0)
Match 13 - Greg (1) vs. Gary (0)
Match 14 - Tall Mike (0) vs. JW (2)
Match 15 - Brendan (0) vs. Geoff (4)
Match 16 - Darren (5) vs. Chandler (0)

Rapture 2017 - Details

Here's the itinerary:

Thursday, August 17th - Check into AirBnB houses. Arrive any time after 4pm. I highly recommend everyone come up on Thursday. Doesn't matter if it's super late... it's better than driving to Juliette Falls for a 10am Friday tee time.

Friday, August 18th - Juliette Falls, 10am, Four Ball (Best Ball)

Saturday, August 19th - Candler Hills - 10:30am, Chapman (Modified Alternate Shot)

Sunday, August 20th - Black Diamond (Quarry) - 11am, Singles

Other info:

- The $160 you paid me covers room and gambling. Our new "pay for performance" structure will earn you $60 for winning The Rapture and $20 for every full point you secure for your team.

- Greens fees at these courses should be (after tax): $50, $45, $75.

- Juliette Falls greens fee includes a burger and a beer.

- Bring rain gear. We WILL be fighting rain all weekend, so be prepared to play in it and to wait out any lightning. Our Black Diamond tee time is the earliest non-member tee time allowed by the course.

- There's a decent sports bar in town called Coach's, about an 8 minute drive. Obviously you can bring food to cook in the house but I don't think they have grills. We really should just go out every night to make it easier.

House addresses:

House 1 (Chan, Gary, Darren, Katie, Greg, Robbie) - 1371 N. Timucuan Trail, Inverness, FL 34453

House 2 (Dave, Geoff, Reid, Gorecki, Mike H.) - 849 N. Sabal Palm Way, Inverness, FL 34453

House 3 (John, Buchert, JW, Brendan, Moostie) - 1281 N. Timucuan Trail, Inverness, FL 34453


We are NOT playing split tees in this event. All guys are on the same set of tees. All Katies are on their own set of tees. Katie's tees were selected to be as close as possible in slope and rating to the men.

Juliette Falls: 

Men - WHITE ; Katie - RED

Candler Hills:

Men - BLUE ; Katie - RED

Black Diamond: (Everyone is playing a combo tee here. Look for the arrows!)

Men - Dark Gray/Green Combo ; Katie - White/Silver Combo

Information on handicaps for the event will be posted soon.

Jamaican Open - Summer 2017 Recap

Katie can't be stopped. Her team of Kitties dominated the leader board, finishing in the top 5 spots. While the Garyatrics struggled, perhaps they were protecting their handicaps for the Rapture?

Nope. We're just terrible.

Katie shot her second 89 (gross) this season, destroying 2nd place Darren by four strokes. It tied her best career round.

On the other side of the spectrum, Gorecki broke a streak of 70 holes in a row without a par... and actually made two on the round. Perhaps we've finally seen rock bottom? He also purchased two of the 4 pitchers he owed, so everyone in Virginia can stop protesting now.


Excellent season by Casey, who is now the newest member of the Champions Club. He joins myself, Faz, Geoff, Darren, Tall Mike and Katie.

Casey apparently wasn't aware that there are two Champions Dinners a year. So to refresh everyone's memory... the most recent winner of a season gets $100 for dinner at a location of their choice, and is attended by all previous Champions. I guess we're eating in Pinellas!

The 7th member of The Champions Club.


Tons of Rapture content to be posted later today. So stay tuned. Great season, everyone.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Rapture - Housing Change

When you coordinate group outings, it's always good practice to follow up a few weeks before the event to make sure everything is set up.

Using AirBnB, I booked us two 4-bedroom houses from a company with a pretty high rating and good reviews. Yesterday (9 days before the event) I emailed to confirm where to pick up the keys and whatnot.

I get an email back saying "there have been some changes" and the villas "no longer have availability."

While I understand this happens, why am I hearing about it a week before the event... and why am I only finding out because I initiated an email?

Anyway... we've now allegedly reserved three 3-bedroom houses (say that three times fast, Dave) in the same neighborhood. No change in price so it's technically a better "deal." But the roommate list has changed, and you are now grouped based on a combination of your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, your horoscope, and divine intervention. All things I regularly track about every member.

House 1: "End Woman's Suffrage" - (1 king, 4 twins)

House 2 "Ex-Kickballers & Dave's Boy" - (1 queen, 4 twins)
Mike H.

House 3 "UF/Growler Frat House" - (2 kings, 2 twins)
Tall Mike

Hopefully this all works out and we aren't sleeping on the streets of Inverness. More details to come after we finish the season on Sunday.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Jamaican Open - Spring 2017 Re-do

Last event of the season. Playing Lakewood National, 9am tee time, $40. We are currently FULL. Give yourself plenty of time to get down there and check in.

Despite being fairly wide open, the course is rated (and plays) pretty difficult. Everyone is on the PALMER tees unless you tell me otherwise.

Moving to NATIONAL will increase your handicap by at least 2 strokes, and moving to ARNOLD will increase it by at least 4 strokes. The tees have color, but you can't tell by the scorecard (which is stupid). So count from the front (Palmer Tees are the 3rd from the front).

See you down there.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Modified Alternate Shot: Chapman Format Explained (for the millionth time)

The 2nd round of The Rapture is a Chapman format, aka: modified alternate shot.

Because we have new people, and Gary still doesn't understand how it works, let's try one last time with the help of MS Paint and some condescending sarcasm. And if you're still confused, here's another website attempting to explain the format.

ON EVERY HOLE, both players tee off. Both players then hit their partners ball. Then ONE ball is selected and you alternate until it is holed.

Let's look at a par 4, with John (black ball & black lines) and Greg (red ball & red lines).

Shot 1 - John hits his tee shot down the left side. Greg slices his tee shot into a fairway bunker.

Shot 2 - John now must hit Greg's ball, from the bunker, and uses his perfect hands to get it on the green! Great shot! Greg has an easier lie with John's ball, but shanks it into a greenside bunker. Greg loves bunkers!

AFTER SHOT 2 A DECISION MUST BE MADE!! Do they want to hit the third shot from the greenside bunker (John's original ball) or the green (Greg's original ball)?

Obviously, they're going to choose the ball on the green. At this point, it is TRUE ALTERNATE SHOT. Not a scramble. Not stroke play. Not some other made up format.

"But Chandler," you say, "how do we know who hits shot 3?!?" Simple. Whoever didn't hit the ball to that spot. So Greg is up!

Shot 3 - Greg putts past the hole.

Shot 4 - John taps in for a par. Splendid!


I've successfully explained this to Gary about 15 times. He'll eventually nod and say he gets it... before scrunching up his face and saying: "OK so on a par 3, both tee off and then alternate shot in because they're on the green?" It never fails. NO! NOTHING IS DIFFERENT JUST BECAUSE THE PAR HAS CHANGED!

Let's review what happens on a par 3:

Shot 1 - John hits it on the green. Wonderful! Greg hits his ball on the back of the green. They have two shots at birdie coming up!

Shot 2 - Greg putts John's ball, and hammers it past the hole. John putts Greg's ball, and comes up slightly short.

OK, everyone has hit twice. That must mean: DECISION TIME!! Do they want the ball closer to the hole, or the one further away?!? They guess correctly and choose the closer ball (Greg's original red ball). Since John just putt it, Greg gets to tap it in.

Shot 3 - Greg taps in for a par. Unbelievable.

But wait! "What if one of the tee shots doesn't land on the green. Do you still hit each other's balls for shot 2?" I've been asked that before. I'll let you figure it out.


Here's another question I received in 2017: "So on a par 5, you both tee off, both hit second shots, both switch back and hit third shots, and then choose because a par 5 is one more than a par 4?!?"

NO! After shot two, one ball needs to go in a pocket. 

Shot 1 - John hits a weak drive up the left side. Greg hits a bomb up the right side.

Shot 2 - Greg blasts John's original ball up near the green. John hits a weak 2nd shot with Greg's original ball.


They choose the one closer to the green: John's black ball. Because Greg just hit it, it's now John's turn!

Shot 3 - John chips on the green.

Shot 4 - Greg misses the birdie putt long, because he's not a great putter.

Shot 5 - John makes the comeback for a par. These guys are a wonderful team!


Now for an honestly good question. "What happens if you go OB." First... that ball probably won't be used. But if John goes OB off the tee, then Greg needs to hit John's ball... but from the tee (and technically that ball is now being hit for 3).

If they both go OB, then they're both hitting again from the tee for 3. After that they pick the best shot and alternate. I trust you all can figure out how it works.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Week 9 - Jamaican Open (Make-Up)

We're booked at Lakewood National for Sunday, August 13th at 9:30am. Got us a $40 green fee which includes range balls. I had to promise we'd bring 16 people... so update your RSVP so I can fill any open spots.

Lakewood National opened this year in January, and was one of the final courses built by Arnold Palmer's company before he died. It's pretty wide open and a really good layout. Reminded me of Champions Gate Country Club.

Anyway, update your stuff and I'll see you in two weeks.

Monday, July 31, 2017

2017 Rapture - Drafts and Information

The Rapture draft happened yesterday after our round, and it produced a few interesting match-ups. First, let's review the draft:

Not a ton of big surprises, especially with Katie selecting Dave #1 overall. Gary changed his mind at the last minute and took Buchert with his 2nd choice, instead of Big John. Skill-wise, it's definitely the correct decision... as Buchert probably should have gone #2 overall. Interesting that Katie took Greg over Robbie at the 5th spot. Both are solid picks, but she definitely took length over girth. JW slipped a little low, so if he plays well he could be the steal of the draft.

Katie is the blue team. Gary is the gray team.

1 - Dave
2 - Chandler
3 - Buchert
4 - Big John
5 - Greg
6 - Reid
7 - Robbie
8 - Tall Mike
9 - Darren
10 - Geoff
11 - JW
12 - Brendan
13 - Mike H.
14 - Gorecki

We also made the match-ups for EACH day. Every year someone asks why we do this in advance, when it might be more "interesting" to make pairings the day before each event. In our first two years we did it the day before... but last year I required captains to make ALL pairings early. The reason is logistics of our leader board system. It's basically too tedious to create and adjust handicaps on the fly, and requires someone to bring a laptop with internet connection assuming it's available (you never know in these accommodations). I also don't really think you need to wait until the last minute. That sort of over-thinking is necessary.

So here are the match-ups:

Day 1 (Four Ball aka: Best Ball)
Katie/Greg vs. Chandler/Robbie
Darren/Tall Mike vs. Buchert/JW
John/Brendan vs. Reid/Geoff
Dave/Mike H. vs. Gary/Gorecki

Day 2 (Chapman aka: Modified Alt-Shot aka: Not a Scramble)
Katie/Darren vs. Chandler/Buchert
Greg/John vs. Gary/Reid
Tall Mike/Dave vs. Robbie/Geoff
Mike H./Brendan vs. JW/Gorecki

Day 3 (Singles aka: Individual Match Play)
Dave vs. Gorecki
Mike H. vs. Robbie
Katie vs. Reid
John vs. Buchert
Greg vs. Gary
Tall Mike vs. JW
Brendan vs. Geoff
Darren vs. Chandler

As always, links to this Rapture and previous events are located on the blog. There is one more handicap revision before we go, so I'll update official handicaps at that time.

I'll be following up with the AirBnb houses soon... but we are NOT staying together as teams this year. Instead, your housemates have been "randomly" pre-selected. If anyone owns an air mattress that they enjoy, I recommend bringing it just in case. You may find yourself sleeping near Darren or Dave, and decide it's quieter on the floor in the bathroom.

House 1
Gary, Chandler, Darren, Katie, Greg, Robbie, John, Reid

House 2
Dave, JW, Buchert, Tall Mike, Brendan, Geoff, Gorecki, Mike H.

If you don't like someone in your house... then be sure to loudly, publicly, and drunkenly proclaim it every chance you get during The Rapture. There is definitely an "airing of grievances" component to the event.

Stay tuned for more information. Start making your predictions now!

DPT Masters - Summer 2017 Recap

We were all surprised to get through yesterday's round without any serious rain, and any stoppage in play. The Palmer Course was in great shape, and turned out to be a fairly easy test for most of the field. Lots of people under par (net).

But Casey played lights out, shooting -11 (net) and winning the season with one event to go. He picked up his 2nd win and first Major. In his last 5 events, he has two 2nds and two wins. Excellent playing! Welcome to the Champions Club, Casey.

Dave and Anthony also put up stellar rounds, tying for 2nd place. And on the other end of the spectrum, Gorecki tied his buddy Steve P. for the worst net score ever recorded at +26.

While there isn't anything left to play for in the season, you can still increase your league stats and win some cash at our final event. The Jamaican Open will be rescheduled for August 13th, at a course I'll announce soon. See you all then!

Updates Coming

Lots of stuff to talk about... so check back often today. First thing:

Our final event will probably be on August 13th. Let's take a week off to let the city dry out from all the rain, and this random tropical storm that popped up today.

If anyone need to be put on the deadbeat list from yesterday... let me know. I wrote down a few things but then I know some of you paid that off before leaving.

Friday, July 28, 2017

STD (Season to Date) Stats

I've printed these out in the past for drafts but I'm concerned about our planet so I'm going paperless this year. These stats are from this season's 7 events and only include league members that are part of the draft. Gorecki's WD is not included, which is really something because those 9 holes would make his numbers even worse. As always, these need to be taken with a grain of salt because not everyone has played in all 7 events. They can still give you a decent idea of recent form.

Number of events:
7 - Chandler & Gary
6 - Mike, Gorecki, Reid, Darren, JW, Brendan
5 - Geoff & John
4 - Katie, Dave, Brian

Points per Event
1. Katie: 171.250
2. Geoff: 147.500
3. Chandler: 143.571
4. Reid: 138.050
5. Gary: 136.300
6. Mike: 101.933
7. Brendan: 92.500
8. Darren: 78.333
9. JW: 55.550
10. John: 55.000
11. Brian: 40.000
12. Dave: 31.650
13. Gorecki: 2.500

Gross Strokes Over Par
1. Chandler: 11.571
2. Gary: 15.714
3. Dave: 16.250
4. Reid: 19.833
5. Darren: 20.500
6. Brian: 21.250
7. John: 22.600
8. Brendan: 24.333
9. Mike: 25.667
10. Katie: 26.250
11. Geoff: 28.400
12. JW: 30.000
13. Gorecki: 35.833

Net Strokes Over Par
1. Katie: (2.250)
2. Chandler: (1.286)
3. Brendan: 1.333
4. Reid: 1.500
5. Gary: 2.143
T6. Mike: 2.333
T6. JW: 2.333
8. Geoff: 2.400
9. Darren: 2.500
10. John: 3.400
11. Dave: 7.250
12. Brian: 8.000
13. Gorecki: 9.833

Pars or Better
1. Chandler: 52.381%
2. Gary: 46.032%
3. Dave: 43.056%
4. Brian: 33.333%
5. John: 31.111%
6. Reid: 29.630%
7. Mike: 27.778%
8. Brendan: 22.222%
9. Katie: 20.833%
10. Darren: 20.370%
11. JW: 17.593%
12. Geoff: 16.667%
13. Gorecki: 9.259%

1. Darren: 52.778%
2. Brendan: 40.741%
3. Reid: 38.889%
4. Geoff: 36.667%
5. John: 35.556%
T6. Dave: 34.722%
T6. Brian: 34.722%
8. JW: 34.259%
9. Katie: 33.333%
10. Mike: 32.407%
T11. Chandler: 30.952%
T11. Gary: 30.952%
13. Gorecki: 25.000%

Others (Doubles or worse)
1. Chandler: 16.667%
2. Dave: 22.222%
3. Gary: 23.016%
4. Darren: 26.852%
5. Reid: 31.481%
6. Brian: 31.944%
7. John: 33.333%
8. Brendan: 37.037%
9. Mike: 39.815%
10. Katie: 45.833%
11. Geoff: 46.667%
12. JW: 48.148%
13. Gorecki: 65.741%

Par 3 Scoring Average
T1. Gary: 3.750
T1. Reid: 3.750
3. John: 3.800
4. Chandler: 3.821
5. Mike: 4.000
6. Brendan: 4.042
7. Geoff: 4.050
8. Brian: 4.063
9. Katie: 4.125
10. Darren: 4.167
11. Dave: 4.250
12. JW: 4.500
13. Gorecki: 5.083

Par 4 Scoring Average
1. Chandler: 4.681
2. Dave: 4.805
3. Gary: 4.875
4. John: 5.173
5. Darren: 5.258
6. Reid: 5.274
7. Brendan: 5.410
8. Brian: 5.488
9. Mike: 5.548
10. JW: 5.645
11. Geoff: 5.712
12. Katie: 5.829
13. Gorecki: 5.968

Par 5 Scoring Average
1. Chandler: 5.346
2. Brian: 5.467
3. Darren: 5.773
T4. Dave: 5.800
T4. Katie: 5.800
T6. Reid: 6.000
T6. Gary: 6.000
8. Brendan: 6.522
9. Mike: 6.545
10. Geoff: 6.778
11. JW: 6.909
12. Gorecki: 6.955
13. John: 7.000

Rapture Mock Draft - Chandler's Picks

I attempted to make this a comment on JW's mock draft... because I didn't want to push his down the blog. It's way funnier than mine, despite my effort to not mail this in. However, Blogger now has a 4,096 character limit on comments, which I swear didn't exist back in the day. Fuck it... new post it is. Sorry, Dub.

JW's picks are pretty accurate. However, maybe not in that exact order. So here we go, with much less entertaining commentary:

1-1 Katie's Kushy Kine Buds - Dave Harrington
Best all around golfer in the league, so Katie makes her first selection with her head, and not her other parts. Dave has the most points in Rapture history, as well as the best point % for those playing more than one event. And keeping in line with Katie's theme, Dave loves plants. Specifically trees.

1-2 The Garyatrics - John Webermeier
John has the best hands in the league. Strong off the tee, yet soft and gentle around the greens. His handicap has plummeted about 8 strokes this calendar year alone, so John's dominance is coming to an end. But he's really shaved off the number of terrible shots per round, which makes him a valuable Rapture teammate.

2-1 The Garyatrics  - Chandler Brown
Probably a Jack Reacher in this spot, as Chandler was the #1 overall pick last year and proceeded to only score one point (still 29% of the team's total). On the plus side, Chandler should be able prevent Gary from playing some modified scramble format in Round 2. But this pick runs the risk of Chandler getting drunk, and giving a sermon to Gorecki (an inevitable teammate) about how he's not going to get into Heaven because he cheats at golf and can't count. Fighting the Good Fight may lead to team dysfunction... but are you not entertained?

2-2 Katie's Kushy Kine Buds - Robbie Wilson
Party Bear is a homer pick for Katie. But it's not a bad selection, as Robbie destroys the ball and his short game is solid. Handicaps are overrated in The Rapture, so no need to worry about the slightly skewed index. Mr. Wilson (who honestly should be using Wilson clubs and balls) is going to score some points.

3-1 Katie's Kushy Kine Buds - Brian Buchert
Buchert only metaphorically falls into Katie's lap in Round 2, but she'll jump at the opportunity to have another all around good golfer on her team. Brian's downside is he might unexpectedly change from the stoic Perry Mason to the disheveled Saul Goodman at night. Definitely worth the risk, and he would have been picked one spot earlier if not for Katie attempting to quell WAGs fears.

3-2 The Garyatrics  - Greg Gleason
At this point, Gary's team lacks firepower. And Katie's team has 4 of the longest hitters in the event (including herself from the Red tees... which is going to be deadly on alternate shot). Gary desperately needs a bomber, and Greg is the longest still available. Sure, he's wild off the tee at times, but he really won't need to hit driver. As long as he stays away from the poison ivy, he's a good value.

4-1 The Garyatrics  - Robert Reid
Much like the previous selection, Gary is going with length over girth. We all know Reid has the ability to manufacture clubhead speed. But can he keep the ball on the course? And can he play smart golf on the shorter holes? Reid posted a legit 76 on the Old Course at St. Andrews, while playing with Gorecki. So perhaps he can skype his caddie and recreate some of that magic. "Finish the swing."

4-2 Katie's Kushy Kine Buds - Mike Oostenbrink
Let's review Katie's current Buds: drunken Irishman, Party Bear, Beau-chert... might as well add the ultimate Wild Card: Tall Moostie. Nobody knows what kind of golfer he'll be, and he scored 1, 2 and 1 points in the first three Raptures. But he has pills so he belongs on this team.

5-1 Katie's Kushy Kine Buds - JW Ferguson
Katie falls for JW's hype, about himself, and how he's never lost The Rapture. But honestly, he's a solid pick in this spot based on his play since Scotland Golf Camp. Dub is improving at a rate that should make him competitive for the DPT Cup in 2018... only to be derailed by childbirth later this year. He'll make the most of the weekend and play well, knowing life is about to get shitty. Literally. Since he's gonna change a lot of diapers.

5-2 The Garyatrics  - Darren Broom
Gary will consider this the steal of the draft, but that might be a false memory. Darren suffers from "The Drip." He also has a sweating problem. And The Baron has turned into The Barren as he hasn't won an event since April of 2016. His Rapture record sucks as well. If Darren wants to turn things around, he first needs to memorize the location of the bathrooms in the rental house.

6-1 The Garyatrics  - Geoff Leighly
Geoff might actually be a steal in this spot. A good Rapture record, and he recently won a league event. His handicap has started to drop for the first time ever, so he's improving. You always know what you're getting with Geoff. And sometimes that's better than a Wild Card.

6-2 Katie's Kushy Kine Buds - Brendan Donoghue
One of these days Brendan is going to have another -16 (net) performance. Ol' Double Chip has been better lately, so I assume his hat is giving him confidence. Whatever works. He'll probably score a point, which is on par with previous Raptures.

7-1 Katie's Kushy Kine Buds - Mike Hauch
New Mike has been very busy lately, burying cash in his backyard so his girlfriend doesn't find it. Hopefully he remembers all the secret locations, because there's 20 days remaining and he's the only deadbeat. But assuming he pays, his handicap is too low for anyone to take him sooner. Doesn't mean he'll be a bust. I actually expect him to score at least two points (out of 3). But as the most unknown new guy, he slips to round 7.

7-2 The Garyatrics  - Mike Gorecki
Mr. Irrelevant has ghosted from the blog recently. His last post was in April, and his last comment was in June before the Scotland trip. He didn't even attempt to correct JW, by pointing out he was NOT the last pick in the first Rapture. Has he been busy installing pool pumps near OB markers? No... he's just lurking in the background assuming we will quit talking about him if he stays quiet. But the Good Fight doesn't work like that. Silence does not bring about change. Learning to correctly count to 10 brings about change.
Anyway, by the time we leave for Inverness, Gorecki's handicap index will be the highest in the league. He's played 117 holes at the time of this writing, and has 10 pars. Zero pars in his previous 47 holes! If Gorecki scores even a half point this year, Gary should consider that a huge victory.