Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Faz Open Review

With no Chandler and the Bito/Dan drop outs, we were left with 4 DPT golfers (Geoff, Justin, Gorecki, Chris) and two amateurs (Jim Miller, Steve P.). Since Gorecki wanted to Ride with Steve and Justin with his dad, I just flipped a coin to see which pair Chris and I would be joining. I rode along with team Miller-Time and it went something like this... Holes 1 and 10 had fairway construction going on so instead of par fours, both were par threes, making the course a par 68. Which of course Gorecki complained that this change would be an advantage to lower handicapped players and i'm sure he bitched the whole day. I started the first 4 holes with 3 double-pars. My irons were errant and my driver was OB most of the front nine. Luckily I managed to squeeze in three pars, but still was losing to Justin by 4 at the turn. My back nine was marginally better, but our group only had one person hit a green on the 6 par threes of the day; sad. Our long drive hole was much the same. Justin hit is in the rough almost OB and I hit mine about 5 feet from that. We decided to make the next two par fours long drive bets between the two of us, so at least I got to win a couple bucks from the Bank of Ginger. I don't know how the other group fared, except, Faz played really well and took a bunch of money from Gorecki and co.

End of Season

Since I can't do a write-up of Fazioli's tournament, I'll post an update on our last three tournaments.

Two B's - I initially booked three tee times, but with Dan backing out I'm going to downsize. There is one spot open for this tournament. I'm still waiting on Justin to make up his mind if he wants to play... but if I don't hear from him today I'll ask my dad. Tee time is 7am, so get there early.

E-Flo Hangover - Eric has a bad ankle or something. Based on Cong's recovery time, I'm assuming Asians take forever to heal... thus he probably won't be playing in his own tournament. No worries though, hopefully he'll still go out drinking with us. To remind everyone, in order to play in this tournament you must attend the chosen bar until 1am. Details on this after I talk to him this week. We'll be trying to play Summerfield since a lot of us have vouchers.

DPT Masters - The final Major and tournament of our season is "invite only." Anyone who has a tour victory is eligible to play, and the remaining spots will be filled by those at the top of the rankings. So far that includes:



Of course, these lists could change depending on who wins the next two tournaments, and who is available to play on the 18th and 19th.

Initially Geoff and I thought the tournament would be a two day event where we could stay and play (ie: World Woods). I'll be emailing the winners to see their availability, and thoughts on staying overnight somewhere.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Virtual Gorecki

With me going on vacation this weekend, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out.

No... the empty feeling doesn't come from me not playing golf for the first weekend this calendar year. Nor does it have anything to do with missing the company of my friends, laughing and partaking in friendly competition.

I'm going to miss Gorecki whining in my ear for 4+ hours about how unfair everything in the league is.

So I've created a Virtual Gorecki. This way I can log onto the blog Saturday morning and still feel like I'm right there in the action!

See you all soon.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Just the Tips & DPT Championship

Just the Tips Challenge

Brutally hot day at Northdale, and slow as always. But hey... we live in Florida and at least we can golf year-round.

Geoff turned into a par-machine, shooting 6 pars en-route to a large 5-stroke victory. Even back-to-back triple bogeys to end the round wasn't enough to choke the tournament away. While Northdale isn't long from the tips (6,800)... it's long enough to make scrambling a must. Especially for us high-handicappers and short-hitters.

Gorecki complained the entire day about playing from the tips. Ironically, he drove the ball very well... shooting a horrific 121 due to numerous chunks with his long irons and woods. If he just accepted that he doesn't need to kill the ball with every swing, he'd win some tournaments. Speaking of...

DPT Championship

Ugh. God pissed all over Tampa late Saturday... soaking our 2nd Major of the season. TPC Tampa was in good shape, but a lot of it was soggy and we had to play cartpath only. Everyone played like crap with the exhausting conditions, except Gorecki who shot one over his handicap to earn his first victory of the season.

Of course... he cheated all day... pairing himself with the Clique-o-Ballics, who couldn't watch him while they were constantly hunting for Dino's wayward drives. After we caught Gorecki hitting a mulligan on the first tee, he responded: "I'm not in your group, so I don't have to play by your rules." Commissioner Geoff pointed out: "You also don't have to win our money."

Allegedly Mike changed his ways and played according to our stringent rules. You know... the rules established (and evolved) by the R&A since 1897. Damn us for trying to play the game correctly while we gamble!

Justin was also a sight to see, as he showed up still drunk from the night before and slurring incoherent ginger phrases. He got his shit together just in time to shoot a 45 on the back nine and finish 2nd.

Congrats to Geoff and Mike for winning over the weekend. With me out of town this week, the leader board could get pretty tight!

Up Next

Still at least one spot open for Fazioli's tournament. And we have two tee times booked for Robb's tourney at 7am. It's gonna be rough. But sign up if you haven't.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Early Bird Classic

While I'm out of town, I'll need to set up tee times for the Early Bird Classic. Robb might even attend his own event.

A bunch of us are playing in a charity golf tournament on Saturday... so this event is scheduled for Sunday, August 5th.

Tee time will be as early as possible. Some of us bought vouchers to play Bloomingdale ($15). I have 4 of them, so if you need one let me know.

Comment if you're playing or there won't be a spot for you!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Fazioli Invitational


Chris has set up two tee times for this Saturday at Babe Zaharias, 9:30am tee time. Cost is $36.45 plus tax, and the 1st and 10th fairways are under construction. But allegedly the greens are good to go.

Check out the roster to see if you're on it. If you're not, and should be, make a comment. If you are, and shouldn't be, also make a comment.

I'll fill in the handicaps soon.

Geoff will handle the money and scorecards this week.

I talked to Chris and he's cool with playing the white tees this weekend. So there shouldn't be a Gorecki tantrum, but Dan's driver might be sad.

Monday, July 16, 2012

DPT "British" Open Challenge

The Open best ball challenge is now active. Let me know if you're in and haven't paid yet! Everyone else who is not on the list on the right column of this blog will be cut.

Sign up here:

Group: DPT Golf
Password: donkeynoms

Entry fee is $10 and you must pay before July 18th. If you're interested, bring money to kickball, Yard of Ale etc etc.  You can "gift" me $10 through PayPal under my email address, but make sure you select the gift option so it doesn't take any fees out.

Anyone who hasn't paid by the time the rosters lock will get the boot.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Jamaican Open Reminder

Don't forget... wear the proper colors on Sunday.

Tee time is 10:30am. We have 8 players, but 6 are competing for DPT Points. That means three of those kids will earn zero! Step it up!

Entry is $5 (for everyone except Dan and Huffman).

Bring your vouchers, or cash if you need to buy one off us ($20). The voucher also gets you BOGO beer.

Long drive hole is #10.

Check the roster for course handicaps. Justin is the favorite (yes I just jinxed him). Gorecki won't be there so we should have a pretty stress free day.

See you all down there.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

DPT Championship

I've you've studied the schedule, you'll see we play the "Tips Challenge" on Saturday (July 21)... and our second Major of the season on Sunday (July 22).

We're doing this because... well... there's a lot of shit going on between now and September and I don't want to drag out the season any longer than 3 months.

Anyway, while the DPT Open was "open," the DPT Championship has rules designed to piss off free-loving hippies. And to promote people signing up for tournaments early in the season. Also to force people who don't have handicaps to get handicaps.

In order to play in the tournament you'll need an official handicap, and at least three tournaments under your belt. If we have extra spots after those eligible respond, we'll take others. Comment away!

Tentatively we're scheduled to play River Strand, but Gorecki has passes to get us on TPC Tampa at a reduced rate. So unless he finally moves up to Minnesota, we'll go there.

Bito is the only one who has officially registered for this tournament, although I'm assuming Gorecki is in since he's getting us on TPC Tampa.

BUT... Chris (who's out of town that weekend) said he can make it back if we play at noon. So the rest of you eligible need to comment if you're playing, and let me know if there's an actual problem with playing at noon. It being hot is not a problem. We live in Florida.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Gorecki Exposes web of lies, calls SHENANIGANS on DPT Golf League..

Calling all participants of the DPT Summer League...

Tired of Chandler writing "Me and Geoff discussed ___ and decided ___ ...."?

Who "oficially" made them league commishioners?

Every week when I play and I have an objection (cough being forced to participate in long drive competition) I get reminded from Chandler that "those all the rules Geoff and I came up with"

So I decided to finally read these "league rules" this morning but wa suprised to find NO link promimently displaying them. I went through the archives and found a May 19th Blog Posting introducing the league and decribing the DPT Point system as well as a Kickoff Open Posting mentioning greenies, and the long drive for that week's tournament.

Well as you can read from an earlier post, I was harassed once again at the conclusion of the tournament by none other than Geoff and Chandler. When we calculated the net scores we found Geoff and I were tied for third so it was first decided to split the 150 DPT points. This did not sit well with Geoff so after being relentlesly harassed about a OB score decision (that was agreed upon when that hole concluded) I succombed to peer pressure and went and replayed the fifth hole 3 hours after last playing it.

The re-play is recorded for everyone's enjoyment to point and laugh at Gorecki. And now my entire round and score was adjusted and I left in 4th place accumulated no DPT League Points.

So after replaying that day's events I decided to see what "the DPT League Rules" say about a tie. Gasp nothing listed! I then researched the USGA rules and found the following:

"Sudden death is not recommended by the USGA in such cases. It's felt that playing hole-by-hole shouldn't decide a tie in stroke play. Instead, a playoff over 18 holes is the favored format. If that's not feasible, then a nine-, six-, or three-hole in that order) playoff is preferable."

Why wasn't this approach ever mentioned or suggested? WHy do we feel my entire round and tie-break should go back to replaying a hole that (at the time) we agreed to a score I should record only to have it retracted?

So given I see no "official" election making Geoff and Chandler league commishioners and continuing to enforce rules that arent even properly listed. I ask for the opinion of the rest of league. Should the round between Geoff and I conclude the way it originally did (tie and split the points)? Should we have replayed my 4th shot on hole 5 thus deciding the entire round? Should we have agreed to a certain number of holes playoff?

I ask for YOU the league participants to vote. You have a voice! You too can put a stop to this dictatorship of a league. Coup d'etat!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Stroke and Distance

So there was one bit of controversy at the Gorecki Par-3 Shootout... involving Gorecki. Initally the dispute was left as a "we'll figure this out later" issue. But when we got in the clubhouse and realized Mike and Geoff tied for 3rd place, the disagreement now affected the season standings.

After a few beers, we decided the only fair (and funny) thing to do was to make Gorecki go back out on the course and finish what he started. We also had to bet him a no-risk $6.

The Dispute

On the par-4 5th hole, Mike's tee shot found the right rough. The ball was sitting nicely on top of a hill, and he had about 110 yards remaining to the pin. He hit his second shot long over a hill beyond the green. Unfortunately, the only thing past the hill is the cart path, a couple of trees, about 3 feet of hard dirt and Waters Avenue.

We couldn't find his ball and concluded it must have rolled into the street, which is clearly "out of bounds" (according to the white stakes and local rule).

I inform Mike that he technically has to go re-hit from his previous location (with penalty). But Mike wanted to take a penalty drop where the ball went into the street. He claimed that with people behind us, it was appropriate to maintain "pace of play." The problem with Mike's logic is that he was taking his penalty 110 yards CLOSER to the hole.

In casual games, pace of play IS important... so the standard allowance is to drop near where the ball went OB and take a two-stroke penalty (keep in mind that isn't really legal either). I offer up this option to Mike, who immediately objected, stating that he'd rather go re-hit the ball from the previous spot since he would probably get it on the green and improve his score.

Eventually he finishes out the hole only taking one penalty, carding a 6 while the rest of the group thinks he should have a 7.

Why Mike is Wrong

Look at these two diagrams:

#1 - This is what Mike did to record a 6. Notice how shot 3 (yellow line) is a penalty stroke dropped near where his ball went out of bounds. Doing so required him to make a short chip for his 4th shot... and then a two-putt for a six.

#2 - This is what Mike actually needed to do to record a 6. His penalty drop should have been back at the previous location, requiring him to make a long 4th shot to the green. Assuming he gets it on the green, he could then two-putt for a six.

Of course, Gorecki was quick to point out that he could get on and one-putt for a five. But that's not likely to happen. The 4th shot in #1 is way more desirable than #2. Which is why hitting a ball OB is the worst thing you can do in golf.

The Resolution

Once we realized there was a tie for 3rd and drank a few beers while arguing over it... we deiced to go back out to the 5th hole and let Mike replay his 4th shot from 110 yards out. He grumbled about being "cold" and having "more beer in him"... so we gave him a few practice shots into the water (not toward the green). His first "real" attempt was chunked about 20 feet in front of him. But Geoff, being the generous person he is, gave Mike another chance:


We ended up letting him take a 7 instead of an 8... but it doesn't matter. Geoff got 3rd place by himself and all 150 DPT points. Hopefully everyone now better understands the OB rules... but I'm not holding my breath.

Par-3 Shootout Results

The Gorecki Par-3 Shootout took place yesterday in scorching conditions at Countryway. The event was interesting due to all the greenies at stake, and we had a lot of side-bet action. With a small field (5 people) it was a good chance for the season leaders to pull away and the slow-starters to jump up the leader board.

Amazingly, 4 of the 5 players shot under their course handicap... and only five strokes separated the top four. But at executive courses, those with bad short games have nowhere to hide.

Reid shot a sneaky 56 (net) thanks to a fast start, but ruined his chances at a title on the last hole with a horrible chip and a missed short putt. Chandler was able to hold on to the victory with three birdies (two of them chip-ins), despite a couple of blowup holes.

But the story of the day was Gorecki, who got a lesson in out of bounds and "stroke and distance." Of course... that needs it's own post which I'll work on later today. And I don't really think he learned anything.


Next week is the Jamaican Open at Waterlefe. Tee time is 10:30am, and we have a 6-person field. Two amateurs are joining us without official handicaps (Dan and Huffman). They can play for side-bet and course money (greenies, sandies, long drives). But they won't count toward the DPT standings.

We have $20 vouchers for the course (normal rate is $60). If you're playing and don't have a voucher, make sure to let me know. Some of us have extras, so just bring cash to pay whoever sells you the voucher.

Also... don't forget you need to be wearing a shirt that matches one of the colors of the Jamaican flag. If you aren't in dress code, the penalty is $2. Reid has final say on color disputes.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Just The Tips!

Alright we're going to try to head to Summerfield Crossings to play the tips. Why? Cause we're stupid. But it should be interesting to see how we do teeing it backwards.

Tournament is Saturday, July 21st. Comment if you're playing.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012


During a discussion this morning, I looked up a few of Tiger Woods' childhood accomplishments. For instance... he shot 48 on nine holes at age three. He broke 80 for the first time at age eight (I did it at age 28... sigh).

Anyway, we should keep a list of accomplishments during the season. Like how Geoff shot a career best 43 on nine holes at Stoneybrook. I'm not sure how to present it, but there's one that needs mentioning:

For the first time in his life (35 years), Gorecki beat his dad in golf last Friday. OMG won decisively, 100 to 107, on the difficult Legacy Golf Club down in Sarasota. Good job, Gorecki!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Handicaps, Rakes and Par 3s

The league handicaps were updated today (per the revision schedule), so check those out.


After discussions with Geoff, we're going to start taking a "rake" from the payouts each week. The amount will usually be small ($5 last week), but will be used for a league trophy which cost over $100 and is probably considered an antique. After each season, the overall points winner will get his/her name engraved on the trophy. They'll also get to keep the trophy until the next season concludes.

It'll take awhile for us to "rake" in enough money... but the progress will be kept in the Deadbeat List under "league funds."


Tomorrow I'll book tee times for the Gorecki Par-3 Shootout. Only five people have registered, so we're capping it at 8 people. It should be interesting since there will be a ton more greenie and sandie chances. We will also still have a long drive hole.

I know Gorecki is excited, so get ready!

DPT Open Recap

After heavy rain soaked much of the state last weekend, parts of Brooksville were still flooded. But Southern Hills was in great shape, and ready to kick our ass in the DPT Open.

As advertised, the course played long and the greens were extra frustrating. Little did I know that a morning member tournament would cause the pin locations to be extra hard. But it fit the theme of our first Major.

Geoff got his first win by minimizing his mistakes and only carding one blow-up hole. He finished with an impressive net-69. My dad, playing his home course, took 2nd thanks to a 150 yard shot that found the cup for birdie on #5. Everyone else... got a challenging day of golf.

Reid, Chris and Justin all had chances to win, but collapsed on the final holes. In fact, if you don't count Robb and Gorecki, only six strokes separated the top six players. Such a tight cluster is what the handicap system is all about.

For those that played in the DPT Open, be sure to go online and sign up for the program that will allow us to go back to Southern Hills for $40 all summer.