Tuesday, August 30, 2016

August Recap & Handicap Tracker

Well August sure brought us some challenging and punishing courses. The slope rating of course's league members played this month averaged over 130! The "Big Stick Gold Medal" award goes to the Ryder Cup participants who experienced a 140 slope on Jack's "front" tees at Reunion. Silver Medal to those who played the PGA Tour Course Copperhead at Innisbrook. Honorable Mention goes to Buchert who played Westchase from the tips at 6700 yards and a 136 slope. "Short Stick" goes to yours truly who played a 116 slope from the Golds at Mangrove Bay. But at 5700 yds, a wide open layout and the course in surprisingly good shape... could we see a potential new location for the Gorecki Memorial?  Stay tuned!

This month I also got to witness Darren tease the Golf Gods by him coming up to Gary and I on the 18th tee of Eaglebrook and boast how he only needs a bogey to break 80 for the first time ever. Instead we witness him have an errant tee shot, 2nd shot hit a tree limb, 3rd shot go in the water, and yada yada finish with a max double par 8! Still a hell of a round posting an 82 on a challenging "waterlefe" type course.

So with that low score of Darren's and my continued improved play (credit Golf Tec) we were the biggest mover's in handicaps. Those same Golf God's didn't like seeing Chandler as a single digit handicapper so they wised up and corrected that for him. Perhaps you should practice Rule #14 more and they'll reward you? Anyways, here's the latest tracker...

NameCurrent Index8/15 Index8/1 IndexIndex Change (since 8/1)
Dan Rogers7.
Dave Harrington7.97.98.3-0.4
Chandler Brown10.
Gary Brown12.
Chris Fazioli12.612.812.8-0.2
Brian Buchert13.213.213.5-0.3
Darren Broom13.414.114.1-0.7
Robert Reid15.315.615.6-0.3
Darryl Gorecki18.718.418.40.3
Mike Oostenbrink18.918.918.90.0
John Webermeier21.
Brendan Donoghue21.
Troy Najour24.324.324.30.0
Geoff Leighly25.
JW Ferguson25.525.525.40.1
Mike Gorecki25.927.828.2-2.3

It also looks like Chandler is one of the 4 people that visit the blog during the offseason and honored my request to create the handicap history graph for me. And as Buchert pointed out in an earlier post my chances of winning a tournament come spring season is nil as the graph depicted below displays a point decline more than what happened to the stock market 2 days after the Brexit vote:

So keep sending Chandler your scores during the off season and pay homage to the Golf Gods as they always seem to remind you they're watching you.

Oh and Faz now that you're all settled in at your new home, how bout those "Congrats You Suck" season stat sheets you've been promising??

Monday, August 29, 2016

Brooksville Voucher and Countryside Outing

Couple of guys missed the Lake Jovita voucher. Reid just bought the Brooksville CC one on Deal Caddy. $25 good through November 4th. I'll grab one of those too.

But who is up for playing Countryside on September 18th? It's the private course we were going to play last year... but the entire state flooded and we had to go somewhere else. The course (3 nines) is decent, and if we like it we could add it to the rotation.

Comment now if you want in so we can work on getting a group reserved.

Friday, August 26, 2016

Lake Jovita Voucher

Head on over to GroupGolfer and buy the voucher for Lake Jovita. $35... good any day... after 10am on weekends... expires November 20th.

I'll probably put together an outing in October or early November. Make a comment on here if you buy it.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Golf - Sunday August 28th

Next week at Eaglebrooke. I have a 4-some voucher with one available spot left. Already in are Gary and Darren. Tee time is 10:20am and cost is $30 for the voucher.

First person to say they want in gets the final spot. If more people want to play, the rate is about $45+ tax.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Reunion - Damages Fee

So... I was contacted by Reunion today. Apparently during one of  Big John's drinking binges, he decided to run around outside and throw a bunch of shit. They're trying to make me (as the group organizer) pay for it.

I don't have the estimated damages yet, but they did send video footage from their surveillance camera.

Here's the video. <-- click this link

Monday, August 15, 2016

2016 Ryder Cup - Recap

Dave's Blue Team really took it to Mike's Orange Team this weekend, basically knocking them out on the first day. In all three rounds, Orange couldn't close out tight matches to make it respectable. In fact, five matches had Blue 1 Up with six holes to go... and Orange won zero of them.

So in lieu of a full recap... let's look at the "Winners" and "Losers" of the weekend.


Winner - Scottish Irish Dave
Currently has a career-leading 6.5 out of a possible 9 points. Dave drafted a great team, and then made sure to win two of his three contests. He will hopefully be the first keeper of our new trophy, if the league president can ever figure out how to finish it.

Loser - #1 Overall Pick
Hey, that's me! Chandler was drafted because of his stellar match-play (singles) record. He lived up to that hype by earning a rare Orange point with a gross 77. But on day one, he didn't contribute nearly enough to his playing partners. Both Tall Mike and Brendan deserved better!

Winner - Dave's Last "Pick"
Gorecki wasn't drafted by Dave. He was forced upon Dave like a bad arranged marriage in India. And up until last month, the concerns about Gorecki were justified. But he continued his stellar play (in relation to his handicap) and scored 2.5 points while securing the cup-clinching point for the 2nd straight year.

Loser - Chapman Format
An American tradition developed in 1947 by golfer Dick Chapman at Pinehurst. Still used in annual tournaments at the prestigious club, it is also sometimes called "American Foresomes." Dick Chapman, who played a record 19 times at the Masters as an amateur, would never have predicted that his game was too complex for golfers 70 years later.

For the 3rd year in a row, members of the league struggled to grasp the concept. This year, it was Darren, Reid, Gary and Buchert who decided to play a scramble after the 2nd shots. Why? Because a combined 6 years of DPT Ryder Cup experience wasn't enough for someone to realize there is never a scramble component in any of the matches. At one point, someone in that group reportedly said they thought it was scored as stroke play instead of match play.

At first Reid was blamed. Then Gary. Then Darren. And Buchert swears the modified-alternate-shot-scramble disaster was used last year. Considering he played with Darren, Brendan and Tall Mike last year... I believe it.

There will never be a scramble component to this event. You can't accurately handicap it. I originally didn't even want modified alternate shot, but was convinced it wasn't too complicated for you people. Spoiler alert: it is.

Winner - JW's Picks
The Dub accurately predicted the first 6 matches, which included a halve by Gary/Gorecki & Darren/John. And while he only picked 3 of the final 6 correct, he wrote about being 2 Up on Reid through 15 and choking the match away.

Loser - Snapchat Journalism
As a joke it was suggested that we re-create the "Spring Break 2016" golf trip. I'm pretty sure all I accomplished was giving the WAGs a way to watch over us.

Winner - Reunion and Grand Cypress
Excellent course conditions. Accommodations were great. Location was perfect with restaurants and bars close by. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

Loser - Race Relations and Gender Equality
We definitely set both of these back a few decades for various reasons. And by "we," I'm mostly referring to Gorecki and one or two people who aren't in the league. We'll keep fighting the good fight, however. #progress

Winner - Feeding the Homeless
JW donated pizza to those less fortunate. He's a great role model, and we should all learn from his generosity.

That's it for now. Check back later for more weekend golf outings (Copperhead this weekend for those with vouchers).

Thursday, August 11, 2016

More Picks!

JW's excellent commentary got me inspired. Here are some more picks before the leader boards attack the blog:

Round 1
Dave/JW wins Tree & 2 over Chan/Mike
Tall Mike has never won a Four-Ball match. The last time I was paired with him (2014) he was complete garbage. Granted, he had a lot of back and medication issues. And Mike is the hottest golfer on tour this year. But his nearly 5-point drop in handicap over the past few months has finally transformed Tall Mike from Paige Spiranac to Inbee Park.

Tall Mike... then and now.

JW's 17 (17?!? GTFO) strokes drop Chan/Mike like a sack of potatoes. Dave contributes a few times, but mostly just wanders around the course picking up said potatoes.

Reid/Brendan 1up over Buchert/Geoff
Unlike my captain... Brendan has never lost a Four-Ball match. He'll be in a stroke-off against Geoff, needing 4 less to get the job done.

I first started going out to Reunion in 2009. Back then most of the mansions on the Nicklaus Course were abandoned and seemingly foreclosed. Geoff will be too distracted this week checking comp sheets and current listings to play golf. He ejects from the round early and often.

Buchert will be in much better shape than he was last year. But the Nicklaus course is too difficult for his snap-hooks. And despite Reid living in Gorecki's Cellar (currently not qualified for the 2017 DPT Ryder Cup), he'll chip in on 18 and pimp walk up to the green as if he does it all the time.

Darren/John 4&3 over Gary/Gorecki
Gary hits the ball further than he can see it. Not good for the heavily guarded Nicklaus Course. And the only time Gorecki has played this track, he literally (not exaggerated) took almost 6 hours to finish a 2-man scramble. He was my ride and I was in the group ahead of him. I sat on 18 for over an hour waiting on them. I don't care how much Gorecki has improved... he hates this course.

Round 2
Big&Tall Department Store 2&1 over D-off
As JW pointed out, 7 strokes in an alternate shot match are a lot. But let's just take a look at how most of the holes will play out. 1) Dave hits a good drive, while Geoff sprays it into the woods. 2) Geoff doesn't find the green on the approach with Dave's ball. 3) Dave has to chip with his hybrid. 4) Geoff putts it 5 feet past the hole. 5) Dave misses most of the 5-foot comebacks because he sucks at putting.

That's a lot of bogeys and worse. Give me Team Adjective here all day.

Chan/Brendan 1up over JW/Gorecki
Gorecki has been lights out (net) for two reasons. 1) He's taking lessons. 2) I'm helping him with course management so he doesn't embarrass us in Scotland next year. I'm not saying one positive word to him this weekend. Gorecki reverts to chunking chips, missing short putts that probably should have been given, and topping tee shots. JW won't snap any clubs because he knows playing with Gorecki is a lost cause.

Buchert/Gary 10&8 over Darren/Reid
Darren will have lost half his body weight in sweat by this point. And Reid will be in a hurry to watch Jamaica compete in the 4x420. An event filled with black, green and a gold medal.

Round 3
Gary 2up over Tall Mike
5 strokes isn't enough for Mike on a wide open Grand Cypress layout. In a practice round, Mike went into the deepest bunker on the course (2nd hole). Took him a couple of tries to get out. Like... physically. His body is creaky and he'll be low on pills by the singles matches.

Dave 6&5 over Brendan
Grand Cypress New Course was built to look like Scottish links golf. And Dave just did one of those Ancestry.com DNA tests, only to find out he was Scottish this entire time. Scottish Dave gives Brendan the ol' Brexit after the 13th hole. He then rambles on about the Queen for an hour while the other matches finish up.

Chandler 3&2 over Geoff
Geoff has been testing out new drivers, attempting to find one that he can hit consistently. Undecided, he shows up with 13 drivers and a putter in the bag. The match is actually tied until his chipping driver fails him on the 14th hole. He chunks his sand driver on the 15th to lose another point... and finally loses the match on the 16th when he accidentally hits his 210 yard driver on the 170 yard par 3. In his defense... they all look the same.

Darren 1up over Gorecki
Despite playing the white tees, the course is still 6,181. Something I will point out to Gorecki on... every... single... hole. It's just too long for Mr. Front Tees. But Mike plays well enough to be tied on the final hole. Sadly, that it isn't one of his 13 strokes, and he loses with a double bogey. Having come so close to proving that he shouldn't have been the last pick, Mike finishes the weekend 0-3. He then makes the same face he makes every week, when it's time to leave the course and go back to his family.

This face.

JW 2up over Reid
The Dub holes out for eagle from 130 yards with his newly re-shafted 9-iron. The shaft is made from a tree on his family's farm that was struck by lighting. As JW raises his arm in celebration, he too is struck by lighting. After all... playing in Orlando after 2pm is dangerous. And God really hated that tree.

Buchert 5&3 over John
With Orange up 4-2 after the first day, nobody in this final group thinks their match matters. Buchert and John proceed to get stupid drunk. They ghost ride their golf cart down most fairways. John lays on the ground while Gorecki is ahead of him grinding out 2 foot putts for triples. Buchert wins, but it's more of an accident than anything else.

Dave 2up over Tall Mike
After all that, we head to a 3-hole aggregate playoff between Tall Mike and Dave. Mike only gets a stroke on the par-5 2nd hole, the same one with that super deep fairway bunker. Scottish Dave wins, adding to his Ryder Cup legacy.

Ryder Cup Preview

Howdy folks!  I know you're all as excited as I am to escape the wet and humid weather of Tampa for the probably wetter and more humid weather of Orlando for a weekend!  At least we won't be near salt water for 48 hours!

Ryder Cup weekend has quickly become a favorite of mine since we get to play a ton of golf and some of us will inevitably do something ridiculous and possibly hilarious.  Some of these things involve massive head wounds, rashes, near-death-sweaty panic attacks, and likely course defecation.  When it's all said and done, though, the only thing going in the record books are the wins and losses.  I'm back with my golf expertise to let you know who will win and lose before it happens.  On to the picks!

Round 1 - 4-Ball:
  • Irish Dave/American Dub 2&1 over Gray Chandler/Tall Mike
    • In the first of two meetings between the two captains, Tall Mike will falter early and often due to the lack of Yuengling's on the course.  Chandler will do his best to prop up the team, but Dub's par on 17 will clinch the match.  Thank God I'm so bad at golf.  Note: this is the most decorated foursome of the weekend, with the top two Ryder Cup point winners and the only 3 people to have won both cups.
  • Buchert/Geoff 2 up over Reid/Brendan
    • Buchert has a short night of partying after getting into Orlando late, and Geoff follows up his 3rd place with a clinching par on 18.
  • Gary/Gorecki halve Darren/John
    • This should be a pretty good match.  Darren was awful at putting on Sunday and I expect that trend to continue.  Gorecki's game resembles golf now and Gary should be good for a birdie or two to win.  John will only relive himself once in the course trashcans in his Ryder Cup debut.
Blue team takes the 4-ball round 2-0-1.

Round 2 - Chapman:
  • Tall Mike/John 4&3 over Irish Dave/American Geoff
    • 7 strokes is too many for this pairing.  Tall Mike's continued sandbagging wins this match.
  • Dub/Gorecki 2 up over Brendan/Chandler
    • It's going to look as bleak as Gorecki's ball rash until we hit 15 and get strokes on the way in.  A couple of bogeys and a couple of pars bring the match home on the last 4.
  • Buchert/Gary 4&3 over Darren/Reid
    • A now fully intoxicated Buchert and Reid's sportsmanship and eyesight will allow the long hitters to take this match easily.
Blue team takes the Chapman round 2-1.

Round 3 - Singles:
  • Gary 2&1 over Tall Mike
    • The Old Man Suite will let Gary get some early sleep and a couple birdies the next day while an exhausted Tall Mike realizes he didn't sandbag quite enough.
  • Brendan 1 up over Irish Dave
    • Brendan pulls out his "Make America Great Again" hat on 18 and Dave's anti-Trump tantrum gives Brendan the win.
  • Geoff 3&2 over Chandler
    • Geoff clinches the win after giving Chandler the goose egg for the weekend.  Chandler will skip next year's Ryder Cup because he's "trying to save money" like his buddy Faz.
  • Gorecki 2&1 over Darren
    • Darren's Sunday woes continue as his awful putting leaves him several inches short all day, just like the rest of his life.  All those cigarettes stunted his growth.
  • Reid 1 up over Dub
    • I'll look like I have it in the back after coming off 15 up 2, but a typical Dub collapse gives Reid a bittersweet win even though the Orange team has already lost.  Drunkenness will prevent any club breaking.
  • Buchert halves Big John
    • Good match, better shotgunning.
Blue team wins 8-4.

It's gonna be great being the only person in the world to have won three DPT Ryder Cups.  In all of your faces, especially you past captains that didn't pick me: Faz, Darren, Tall Mike. 

See y'all at Ale House on Friday.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Ryder Cup Week!

It's upon us. We had a miraculously dry practice round yesterday at Waterlefe. Only Dave and Gorecki played well enough to be optimistic about this weekend.

Stock up on balls this week. Maybe even clean the clubs. Definitely re-shaft the ones you've broken (JW x2). Make sure you have rain gear!

It rains every day in Orlando around 5pm. This week will be weird with the giant tropical system sitting on us and not moving anywhere. There's a chance this will clear out causing dry weather over the weekend.

Reunion information:
  • Check-in is at 4pm on Friday. I'm planning on leaving around noon. There's nobody out there this time of year so our rooms should be ready early.
  • There's a Publix down the street from Reunion. After you check in, I recommend heading there to grab all the drinks and snacks you need. I also recommend bringing a small cooler to stow away said drinks on the course. Or you can just pay the Disney-esque prices.
  • Reunion is cashless and tipping is not allowed. At least that was the case last time I was there. Everything gets charged to your room.
  • Also right down the street is a Chili's and the Ale House we visited after the DPT Masters. Further up the interstate is a Hooters and other bars. 
  • Tee time on Saturday morning 8:27am on the Nicklaus Course. After the round we play the Watson Course. On Sunday we tee off at 10:30am! Make sure someone gets up around 7am on Saturday to begin administering first-aid to Buchert.
  • Someone (Geoff?) bring cards and poker chips. Also, everyone should bring cash for gambling in general.
Each villa has 3 bedrooms. Two have king beds and the third has two queens. Put the captains and snorers in the solo rooms. Put Darren in the bathroom so he doesn't have to search for it at night. Room list is below:

Room 1

Room 2

Room 3

Friday, August 5, 2016

DPT Ryder Cup 2016 - Handicaps

Handicaps for the Ryder Cup are locked and listed below. Remember, your handicap is in relation to the LOWEST player in your match. So if you're a 12, playing with a 10... you get 2 strokes. Got it?

Here we go! Handicaps in parenthesis!

Round 1 - Four-Ball - Nicklaus Course - White Tees
Match 1 - Chandler (2) / Tall Mike (10)  vs. Dave (0) / JW (17)
Match 2 - Reid (1) / Brendan (7) vs. Buchert (0) / Geoff (11)
Match 3 - Darren (2) / John (9) vs. Gary (0) / Gorecki (16)

Round 2 - Chapman (Alt Shot) - Watson Course - Blue/White Combo Tees
Match 4 - Tall Mike & John (7)  vs. Dave & Geoff (0)
Match 5 - Chandler & Brendan (0) vs. JW & Gorecki (14)
Match 6 - Darren & Reid (3) vs. Buchert & Gary (0)

Round 3 - Singles - Grand Cypress (New Course) - White Tees
Match 7 - Tall Mike (5) vs. Gary (0)
Match 8 - Brendan (11) vs. Dave (0)
Match 9 - Chandler (0) vs. Geoff (13)
Match 10 - Darren (0) vs. Gorecki (12)
Match 11 - Reid (0) vs. JW (8)
Match 12 - John (6) vs. Buchert (0)


A couple of notes and clarifications this year:
  • There is NO double-par rule in the Ryder Cup. So if both entities are blowing up on a hole... KEEP PLAYING until the hole is either won or conceded.
  • We will be fighting against rain AND daylight on the first day (Saturday). So if your opponent is on the green in 2, and you're on the green in 5... concede the point. Just pick up and move on. Don't play it out because you "want the practice."
  • Along the same lines... during Round 1 (Four-Ball)... pick up your ball if you're clearly out of the hole. No need to keep playing if your score isn't going to count! Cheer on your partner and move it along!

Monday, August 1, 2016

This Week's Golf Outing

Apparently I can't put these outings in the bottom of other posts. Nobody reads that far.

THIS SUNDAY we're playing at Waterlefe on our "Free" vouchers we received during the season. Everyone who played in the Fazioli Match Play should have one.

I'm booking the tee times tomorrow (Tuesday). So tell me NOW if you're in.

So far we got:

John's guest #1

I imagine they'll charge us cart fees ($20ish) for the round. If you lost your voucher... then it will cost around $50. Geoff has one but isn't able to go, so someone can head up to Cheval to grab his voucher.

Update: We're booked at 9:30am on Sunday. THREE groups. Dave seems to be the only guy without a voucher and he doesn't want to play for $50. Any of the new guys who wanted to join the league available?

When Gorecki bails he will be excluded from all future off-season events in 2016.

Handicap Stat Tracker

Well it's great to see such a great turnout (half of our league players) participating in non-sanctioned league rounds just one week after the close of our 2016 Summer Season. Some even opting to take a personal day off of work to try out a links course that is so different to anything most of us have ever played before. (Free tip for Ryder Cup- REMEMBER what pin flag color you're supposed to aim for) And after the round concluded we gathered in the clubhouse and discussed with enthusiasm our future Ryder Cup rounds knowing what challenges lie ahead with these difficult courses. So it got me wondering if we all will soon get diagnosed by Chandler as becoming masochist's like John OR is it because we are all collectively improving our scores thus enjoying more of the game (and the challenge) of golf. To avoid this diagnosis I wanted to do some stat checking and created a (gasp) spreadsheet of data entry to see the results.

      I was amazed to see that EVERY league member either improved or stayed idle with their handicap since mid July! Not sure what to exactly credit this to but collectively this is a great accomplishment.

So congrats to each of you and I hope this see the low scoring rounds continue!