We're 10 days away from heading down to the 2021 Rapture. Here are my picks:
Round 1 - Four Ball
Faz/Travis vs. Dave/Brendan - Any time Faz gets a few pops on the scorecard, he's difficult to bet against. However, Travis' handicap finally caught up to him after a honeymoon improvement period.
Dave and Brendan both have winning Four Ball records, and Brendan's 9-ish strokes are deadly with the guidance of Guru Harrio. Dave/Brendan cruise 4&2, and Dave sells Brendan a 30-pack of "teachings" in the Tennessee wilderness.
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Melberg/Gorecki vs. Moostie/John - John and Moostie have an unbreakable bond, going back to their Elephant Walking days at the frat house. They'll be very comfortable feverishly grinding over the course, lubed up with copious strokes.
Melberg will be doing all he can to captain his ship through treacherous waters. There's no doubt he's up to the task, as we saw when he shot 6-fucking-under (gross) at Southport Springs. Too bad Gorecki is a boat anchor, dragging the team (and the iceberg) to the bottom of the ocean. Orange wins 3&1.
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Ho/Geoff vs. Casey/Darren - I really don't like either of these teams. Geoff's been getting lessons and his handicap has recently dropped — which is good and bad depending on how you look at it. Ho fell off the Rainbow Road to Scratch, only to miraculously land on the track below creating a shortcut. His Index decreased over 4 points in the last four months, apparently peaking too early.
Casey is 0-2 in this format, and his previous five rounds have ranged from +9 to +23 (gross). Darren has been struggling lately, desperate to find some sort of consistency before our most prestigious event.
If I was going to show a stranger what it's like to be a Member of our Club... I'd show them this match. Put it down as a halve.
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Gary/Reid vs. Chandler/Danny - On paper, Gary/Reid should be a good team, as long as they don't blow-up on the same holes. When this happens they bicker like an old married couple (ie: 2020 Rapture).
Chandler is struggling with putting yips, which could plague him all weekend. Danny gets 14-ish strokes, so I think the outcome falls on his shoulders. If he plays well... it'll be an easy point for Team Orange. Armed with this knowledge, I'm picking Gary/Reid to win 2 Up.
Round 2 - Chapman
Ho/Gorecki vs. Darren/Danny
- This match comes down to the 5-ish strokes Darren/Danny are getting... vs. the ability for Ho to stay positive while he's hitting 200+ yard approach shots and watching Gorecki pump his Kirkland Signature balls into the water. I think the Vineyards is going to beat us up a bit, which will be especially difficult for teams of opposite skill-sets.
The Double Ds just need to do what they do best... sag and swing. Give me those two boobs 2 & 1.
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Reid/Geoff vs. Dave/Moostie
- Guru Harrio moves on to his next sucker student: Tall Mike. Dave will encourage Moostie to be himself, and stay on his chosen path. If Mike is meant to be a slow golfer, then dammit, Dave is going to help him realize his dream.
Reid/Geoff's 7-ish strokes are nothing to sneeze at, but the annoyance of listening to the Dave Moostie Band all day — without any harmonica interludes — causes Geoff to eject on the final hole. Orange wins 1 Up.
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Faz/Gary vs. Chandler/Brendan
- Faz and Gary getting a stroke? Woof. In golf, distance is king, and both these Blues are long hitters (even if Gary no longer believes it). Right now, our Club's default patriarch is hitting the big stick better than he has in years.
Brendan recently went through the shanks, but swears he's high and dry on Noah's Ark at the moment. The only time CBBD paired up was in 2016 Chapman, where they lost to JW/Gorecki (2&1). That's a stain that won't wash out, no matter how much "perspective" (ie: children) Brendan has gained since then. Faz/Gary win 2&1.
Melberg/Travis vs. Casey/John
- Melberg and Travis are used to playing the back tees, where they both hit towering bombs with decent accuracy. In my opinion, similar playing styles are the best pairings.---------------------------
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In contrast, Casey and John are prone to completely lose their drivers during the round. It's difficult to win in Chapman when you don't have two reasonable approach shots. To me, this would be the Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week (the Bucs somehow won this game), if not for the 6-ish strokes Casey/John receive. Blue still wins 4&3.
Heading into Singles, Orange is leading 4.5 - 3.5.
Round 3 - Singles
Travis vs. Brendan - What do you think will be higher? The 5-ish strokes Brendan receives... or the total hours of sleep Travis gets over the weekend? Brendan wins as Travis crashes.
Faz vs. Danny - Faz is worried about giving Danny 12-ish strokes. It's a lot, especially on a course that looks pretty wide open. High handicappers (basically just Danny and Gorecki) are about .500 in Singles. But by day 3, Danny will probably have sprained an ankle trying to hit a ball out of a lake. Faz wins.
Gorecki vs. Chandler - Somehow, in 11 years of Club history... Chandler has never played Gorecki in Singles. Neither in the Rapture, nor in seasonal Match Play. It's completely unbelievable. So... Gorecki wins with his embarrassing 14-ish strokes.
Geoff vs. John - Geoff gets 3-ish strokes. Him and John have never faced off in Singles either. I'll take John since Geoff is going to act like his favorite high school necklace and choke.
Ho vs. Casey - Casey only getting 1 or 2 strokes here... which doesn't seem like enough. Ho is playing some really good golf lately. Allegedly. He doesn't seem to do that with us. Do we make him nervous? Ho wins regardless.
Melberg vs. Dave - The match we all wanted to see. Dave should be getting a couple pops after dropping off that 74 from the tips at Ozark National. Technically Melberg and Dave have the highest Singles winning percentages in Club history. I'll take Melberg, who was drafted #1 overall for a reason. Plus... I'm down on the Euros in team golf right now.
Reid vs. Moostie - This match might not finish before dark. Reid's Singles record is way better than Tall Mike's — and he's 2-1 against him directly. You could say Singles is good for Reid. Hooray for Singles. Singles for life! Reid wins.
Final prediction... Blue wins 8.5 to 7.5.
