As we approach a celebrated boozing golf weekend around the country, it is my honor to review Southern Dunes for you, our loyal readers. I hope you're all preparing your bags with your liquor of choice, scouting beverage carts, and finding fun 19th holes in preparation for Memorial Day weekend. If you're lucky enough to get a tee time at Carrollwood Country Club or Countryside, you can rest assured of a great booze and golf day. If you're stuck going to Countryway, at least you'll have a great booze day. On to the review!
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
What question do we always ask when we are checking in for a round? That's right, it's "is the cart girl out today?" It was answered with a presupposing laugh and an "of course, but you can go ahead and stock up now in the bar." First tee time was at 9 AM on a Sunday. The day was off to a solid start.
Thrifty boozing conditions
Brendan the Bold is always ready to test the limits of thrifty boozing with the conspicuous papoose, and there wasn't a batted eye when we rolled around the pro shop and the starter with a mobile mimosa bar. This reviewer has taken to adding some ultra light beers that will go unnamed (holding out hope for sponsorships in the future) to the bag as well as the emergency bag bourbon (sometimes just whiskey). Those served well on the course with some ice time in the papoose. Although the bag drop attendants might sometimes make a thrifty boozer wary, fortune often favors the bold in the boozing golf world.
On course service
The cart girl was willing and able to fill the coolers on the carts with her assortment of 12 oz cans of domestic beers. That said, I don't think Southern Dunes understands that 6-pack specials mean giving the 6th beer at a discount as they charged a somewhat steep $25. She also had the typical airplane bottle selection for $15 for a double. Unless you have Regular-sized John money living the single and childless lifestyle, we'd recommend at least starting with some of your own prepurchased supply. Also of note, the inventory was a little light having only 3 airplane bottles of Jack Daniel's at hole 15. Isn't a reload in order when going from 1 to 18? Also, our group only saw her when she was posted up on 7 and as she was moving towards us on 15. That doesn't show much hustle. Credit cards were processed at the cart which is a nice bonus for a boozer who sometimes forgets to go back to the clubhouse to close out a tab.
Pissability
Hope you're not too hydrated out there because despite being a somewhat open golf course, houses encroached everywhere. House-lined courses are not only bad for golf, they're bad for pissing, too. Sporadic trees could shield in times of desperation, but the community's proclivity for screened enclosure hanging out might get you a criminal charge. There were a few bathroom stops along the way, but if you have to go on the wrong hole the pee-pee jitters might cost you a stroke or two. Be extra aware.
Clubhouse experience
The breakfast buffet looked fantastic as we walked through the clubhouse in the morning. Omelet bar, grits, bacon, eggs, and biscuits and gravy looked and smelled delicious. If you can get there early while feeling a little worse for wear, this and an early Bloody Mary might hold your cure. The late lunch crowd must have left our servers a bit busy, as it was pretty slow by the time the last group got in from the round. The clubhouse was solid but not spectacular as we were recommended the Cuban sandwich that might have come from 7-11. Prices in the clubhouse were lower than on the course. This is wholly unacceptable to the BGR. We also boycott tiered pricing gas stations that charge more for credit card transactions. The biggest saving grace was the deadbeat list and Casey's double pitcher performance. Had it not been for an abundance of beer, the BGR wouldn't have stuck around for long.
Overall
This was an ok boozing experience, and as we continue to hone our booze golfing craft we learn about the little thing, although sometimes difficult to identify or express, that make a course special for boozing. Unfortunately, Southern Dunes just didn't have enough of them. Early booze, on course service, cart coolers, and a decent clubhouse experience can be dragged down quickly by high prices and low pissability. This was like a free, almost cold Bud Light: you're not going to complain about it, but you'd rather have many other things. Three cold beers out of six.
