2019 Rapture - RSVP List

Dates are August 16th through August 18th. Looking at courses in the Venice, North Port, Punta Gorda area.

What I need now is for you to comment if you're IN or OUT. Any "maybe" or no reply will be considered OUT. Current qualification status doesn't matter. Just let me know if you're officially blocking off those dates and plan to be there.

Based on your replies over the next week or so, I'll decide if we're going to take 8, 12, or 16 people.

Course Difficulty Performance

We've always tracked what courses we play... how much they cost... how difficult they are... their respective BGR ranking... etc etc. All of this information is on the top menu bar, under the "Courses" section.

Side note: multiple people (including 6+ year veterans) have told me they didn't know those menus existed... as they were trying to manually calculate "points behind" in the standings.

I wanted to see if "difficult" courses produced certain winners, while eliminating specific players before the day even begins. And is it opposite for "easy" courses?

Side note #2: nobody should ever call a course "easy." Courses should be "difficult" or "fun." Golf is never easy — and courses where you shoot near your best round ever are always fun.

I feel the best way to gauge the difficulty of a course in our league is to look at the "Median to Net Par (MnP)." After all, we play 100% handicapped. So theoretically as a group we should be around even par... unless the USGA ratings and slopes are out of whack (we could do an entire post about this).

Look at Heritage Harbor. On average, our members shoot +7.5 over net-par, making it near the top in difficult. But the median net-par is only +5.5 — still near the top but not as drastically difficult.

This tells us HALF the league has finished over +5.5, and HALF the league has finished under +5.5 net to par. And those that do shoot more than +5.5 usually shoot WAY MORE than that number, skewing the average net-par number up two points. When things go bad on Heritage Harbor... they really go bad.

Accepting that the "Median to Net Par" provides an un-skewed difficulty rating, we can average the MnP for every victory per person in history — giving us a sense of who plays better on what type of course.

% of Wins per Difficulty Level — League History

Lots to digest here, but in general — Geoff wins more on difficult courses, whereas Casey wins on "fun" courses.

To get a complete picture we'd need to analyze everyone's average finishing position against the field for every round played, not just victories. But this should do the same job in a lot less time. I also grouped courses into three buckets: "Hard" - MnP is +5.0 or higher, "Fun" - MnP is lower than +1.0, "Medium" - everything else.

It makes sense that lower handicaps like myself, Gary, Dave, Ho, and Faz all have very few victories on "Fun" courses. When the net winning score is going to be -8, it's nearly impossible for us to get down to that number.

But what's interesting is people like Darren and Geoff with a bunch of victories but none on the "Fun" layouts. Why not? Because their handicap index is probably always about as low as their current skill level will allow. They don't have an extra gear allowing Darren to shoot 78 or Geoff an 83. They're just very consistent at being themselves... swinging their swings.

The higher handicaps like JW, Brendan and Gorecki who historically have huge blow-ups in each round struggle on "Difficult" tracks. They're joined by guys like Reid, John, and Buchert who can be wild off the tee — a round killer on tough courses. The most "Fun" layouts have huge fairways: ChampionsGate CC, Buffalo Creek, Lakewood National, Reunion (Palmer) etc. Wild drivers of the ball score well at those places.

Finally... there's Danny. Who is the ultimate Big Game Hunter. If half the field isn't shooting +5.5 or higher... he's not interested.

DPT Masters - Spring 2019 Review

Wild day down at University Park Country Club. Three golfers battled for the coveted DPT Cup, and twelve wanted some of the $255 purse.

Without any bathroom incidents, we teed off on time at 9:20am, which felt like a Hangover Invitational for some of our members. All week I predicted the first hole would be a disaster — and it lived up to the hype. While there were two birdies and one par recorded, the other 12 players shot +28 gross, which is an average of 2.3 over-par per golfer.

Reid was one of those birdies, when he stuck his approach shot to 6-feet and confidently drained the putt. Needing a top-3 finish to win his first championship, it felt like he was going to make good on his promise to "beat that ass." That is... until his tee shot on the long par-3 2nd was blocked dead right into some trees by the OB boundary. Six holes later the Cup was basically lost. Darren was the other guy in the running, but he couldn't recover from a 10 on the 5th hole.

All but one person shot the same or better on the back nine, compared to the front. This included an excellent "too-little-too-late" 40 (gross) from Reid. Big John matched that 40 and vaulted himself out of the Pitcher Zone, ruining a "Perfect Pitcher Season."

The tournament was ultimately won by Gary, who shot an impressive 80 (gross) on a course that ranks 6th hardest in league history.

Chandler (that's me!) is now our first 4-time winner of the DPT Cup. Before Gorecki continues the "sandbagging" conspiracy, he finished with the 2nd lowest handicap index for a season champion. This victory was brought to you by consistency, thanks to eight top-4 finishes.

Not the Champion you wanted, but the one you deserve.

It's was awesome to see our most contested season on record. Looking forward to watching a new person win the Cup this summer — someone who limits their blow-up holes with better course management.

Post-round was a little disappointing, as University Park became the second course this season not wanting us to hang out (Grasslands was the other). Most of us went down the road to Glory Days... but a handful of members still required an additional therapy session at Hattrick's downtown. That was a lot of fun, and it's basically why we have a Club.

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Odds and Ends

Our next season starts on Sunday, April 28th. Take some time off to reset, and maybe work on your game.

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Lots of pitchers are owed... so let's repay those ASAP when next season starts.

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I heard a couple of "grumblings" about the $80 greens fee at University Park. While I share some of those view-points, it's important to know our negotiated rate is posted well in advance of the tournament. And it's always listed on the event pairings page at the top right.

All of that aside, every location we play is highly scrutinized by Club management, and every dollar we spend is tracked so we know what deal at what location is considered "good." If we want better conditioned courses (UP was very good), who have nice warm-up facilities (see: Temple Terrace getting shit on for no driving range), with early tee times, and a season before Easter... that is going to lead to some pricey weeks. It's literally the best time to play golf. Our rate of $80 was negotiated down from $106 thanks to our group size. Yes... shit is expensive this time of year, especially when people want "early" starts.

This season we averaged a rate of $47 after tax. That is $3 more per week than the last two years. We've previously paid $80 at Orange County National (Crooked Cat) and $78 at Orange Lake (Legends)... both in Orlando and both receiving complaints due to distance as well as praise due to conditions and variety. We're always going to get a mixed bag of responses, depending on who has a personal agenda that week. But the goal remains the same: good mix of courses for under $50 per week on average when the season ends.

Skip the expensive rounds if you need to.

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We're getting very close to booking Rapture houses. Unfortunately, they're not going to be refundable. So unless we want to bankrupt the league for the foreseeable future, make sure you have the dates blocked off on your calendar: August 16th through 18th. Later this week we are going to start the RSVP process, regardless of where you stand in the World Rankings.

Those responses will determine if we take 8, 12 or 16 people to this year's event.

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Dave committed what might be the best club toss in league history (sorry, JW), as he accidentally threw a 6-iron: "70 yards up and 80 yards out."

Allegedly, accidentally.

In any case, it got lodged up a 40 ft oak tree, and was only brought down when he paid Hauch to climb on top of a cart (with the ranger's help) and up the tree.

Insert "tree" jokes here.

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I'll try to post some stats and nonsense over the next three weeks. So keep checking the site or you're going to miss out on something. Great season, everyone.

Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 16 - Scepter Golf Club

As a founding member of the BGR, I will take a moment to apologize for the tardiness of this post. Being a good booze golfer is not all about 6 packs and pitchers. There is work that must be done to support this fantastic past time of ours. Who am I kidding...I'm like a well oiled machine except my oil is booze and I haven't been lubed for weeks. My apologies.

God Dammit Gorecki! After some time at the range that borrows parking from Falcon Watch Cyber Cafe (formerly Falcon Watch Golf Course Clubhouse?), we show up to the course and are queued up behind 8 foursomes of people who are actually as old as Gorecki looks. While everyone appreciates moving to new courses and someone siphoning off some of Chandler's authoritarian like power, it would be nice for said individual to actually know what two nines we are playing. After one of our elected officials made some inquiries, we got on the right track and off we went to play the Osprey/Falcon version of Scepter Golf Club.

You can't drink all day if you don't start early

This might as well be you can't drink. The only reason the "cafe and bar" door was open when we got there was thanks to Rease banging on the door long enough to get the security guard to unlock the door so he could evacuate the night before's White Russians. More to come on this.

On-course service

The ranger couldn't even guide us to the right set of 9's and tried to argue with us when we went to the correct place. While it doesn't really relate to the lack of cart girl, I wanted to make sure I let the hate out. 

Clubhouse experience

Pitchers were $7. We don't have an excel savant in the BGR so most of our stats are just guesses rooted in booze induced stupors, but I think this is an all time low. The rest of the clubhouse experience was literally covered in shit. I am all for teeing off early, but apparently Casey really needs the extra 30 minutes for some alone time, and when he attempted to use the restrooms in the clubhouse was met with not one but two "blown up" poopers. He proceeded to go next door and get the doors unlocked so he could meditate before throwing up a pitcher round. While Casey was we'll say miffed about this experience, refusing to buy his pitcher at that course, I think there were some good takeaways. First, Dave powered through and used the crappy crappers. I know this is the Jamaican open, but I think we learned a bit about the conditions in Ireland after watching Dave enter that filth without batting an eye. Second, slapping a sign on the door that says out of order as opposed to cleaning up the mess is not the way to fix the problem. I'm not a married man, but I will file this away for future reference. Finally, I decided to research proper throne sitting procedures and was really pretty inspired by what I found and felt It should be shared.

Just to set some ground rules

While accepting of all cultures...we at the BGR have officially endorsed position 1

David we believe all of these to have been acceptable on-course alternatives

Shot of the week

We will need some volunteers to take up the mantle for the last event of the season. 

Pissability

Apparently in the restrooms aim is optional so happy hunting. The front nine was pretty much retirement golf course hell, 400 yard visibility in all directions. The back was some what more shelter from the peeping toms. As long as you save the boozing till midway through the front or are hungover enough not to create liquid, you should be fine. 

Overall

There was talk of the first ever 0 beer rating. Chandler has often talked of growing the game and the BGR believes this involves appealing to the next generation of golfers. Scepter has bucked the trend and decided to do away with the cart girl and the "we're private it doesn't matter" theory. WHile I enjoy the course from the "golf" stand point, the BGR simply cannot endorse this line of thought. One beer for having the cheapest pitchers we've seen.

Just be glad its not covered in poop

Sunday Horse Track

Dave wants to go to the horse track (Tampa Bay Downs) on Sunday for St. Patty's Paddy's Day. The first race starts at 12:56pm, so I reckon we should get there around 12:15pm to grab a spot and settle in.

At some point we should go to a bar, or Brendan's house (jk?) to watch the end of THE PLAYERS. Assuming it's an exciting leader board without Webb Simpson up by 7 strokes.

Anyway, there's a good chance of rain all weekend so put down the clubs and lets hang out. Comment if you're attending.

DPT Masters - Spring 2019 Info

We're officially booked at University Park down in Bradenton.

Some of us have played it a few times, and really wanted to get the league out there. Problem is, it's the furthest south we've ever played, and it's not cheap (rack rate of $106 after tax).

"Early" tee times are more expensive, you see.

Anyway, we have 16 spots open at 9:20am on the 24th, $80-ish after tax.

We'll be playing courses 10 & 19. You can view the scorecards here. Everyone is on the PLATINUM tees (6,223) unless you tell me otherwise.

In the meantime, get those RSVPs updated and accurate. Some of you have gotten really lazy about it, and another Board member already suggested we fine people for late RSVP changes. I don't think we need to get to that point yet... but it's out there.

Update your shit.



Scorecard Info:

Their website, per usual with golf courses, doesn't have a full scorecard.  There are actually eight tee-box configurations rated by the USGA for guys. However, only 4 of them should come into play for us:

(Box - Yards - Rating - Slope) *current USGA ratings*

Diamond - 7,152 - 74.7 - 137
Emerald - 6,612 - 72.4 - 132
Platinum - 6,223 - 70.5 - 127
Plat/Gold Combo - 5,942 - 69.4 - 124

Ruby/Bronze Combo (Female) - 5,187 - 70.2 - 126

Again, everyone is on Platinum with Katie on the girls combo tees... unless you tell me otherwise. Go ahead and say you're moving up to the combos, Gorecki.

Jamaican Open - Spring 2019 Recap

Jamaica is known for it's sand, and there was plenty on-hand at Scepter last Sunday! Just not in the bunkers like you'd expect. Rather, neatly packed into bags in Group B.

To be fair, anyone shooting 75 (gross) should win... except at ChampionsGate CC where a 74 (gross) got 4th place and lost to the winner by 8 freakin' strokes.

But the day was off to a rough start with the unbearable early tee time, and our intern (Gorecki) booking the course without verifying which nines we were playing. To make matters worse, both men's stalls were "out of order," and booze wasn't available until after the round when the South Clubhouse opened.

It's a shame because I felt the Ibis/Osprey configuration is a solid and fair test of golf. Conditions are decent, with the exception of ball marks on the greens. Apparently old people can't see the damage and/or bend down far enough to fix them. Beyond that the courses are enjoyable (if you aren't Casey trying to hit 14 drivers).

HOWEVER, we didn't get Ibis/Osprey. We got Osprey/Falcon, with the latter nine being salvaged from the now defunct Falcon Watch Golf Club... which ALSO had 3 nines (Cypress, Sands and Challenge). My research shows the Cypress and Sands nines were closed in 2016, with Challenge integrated into Scepter.

Side Note: Falcon Watch closed after an infrastructure audit revealed it needed far more irrigation and drainage upgrades than the current membership could support.

While conditions on the newly renamed "Falcon" nine weren't terrible, the layout was pretty tricked up. And that's OK if you do what the course asks you to do — something many of us still haven't learned. There was plenty of room to move the ball on the first 5 holes. But it was the stretch of 6 through 8 that I found offensive, with the tight OB left and tree overgrowth on the right. Brendan needed to be there with his trusty chainsaw.

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So the leader board app was useless due to the course change. It's been years since we had an old-school event without live standings, and it affected players in different ways. Nervy golfers probably liked not knowing where they stood. Others may have ejected thinking they were already out of the running (and weren't).

Either way... nobody was going to beat my hot putter (26 total putts).

Robbie shot a career low (in league play) 80, and came up 4 strokes short. JW had another great week for his 3rd top 3 finish in a row... something he's NEVER done. And Geoff would have tied for the victory at -10 (net) if he made bogeys on his two blow-up quintuples.

The rest of you weren't very good. John kept the pitcher streak alive. We now have a tight race for the Cup, with Reid watching it slip through his fingers again (only earning 96.7 points in the previous 3 weeks). JW needs a rain-out next week, but regardless he's finally playing some consistently good golf and really enjoying it in the process.

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I'm attempting to get us on University Park for the final event... but that depends on availability and how much they come down from the $99 rack rate. Stay tuned.

Rapture Qualification Update

The Rapture has been my favorite league event for a while because it's a whole bunch of golf crammed into one weekend, but I've always been so bad that I had to rely on folks bailing to qualify. Because I've pored over the standings so often, I like to think I have a decent feel for how they're going to go, too. As you know, the rankings are an average of your ten best finishes in the last 18 events, so each time you win a regular event, you get 50 points towards your DPT World Golf Rankings. 60 points for majors, 300 for solo seconds, 375 for solo seconds at majors, etc. The math is very simple, which is a definite plus.

Anyway, here's a list of points that people currently qualified for the WGRs will lose before qualification ends after the DPT Open, currently scheduled for May 19, and the rosters are finalized.

Future Rank	Member	Current WGR Pts	Pts losing	Future pts
1	Chandler	238.7	0.0	238.7
2	Faz	220.3	10.0	210.3
3	Reid	221.6	32.5	189.1
4	J.W.	166.5	22.5	144.0
5	Darren	140.8	14.5	126.3
6	Casey	168.0	55.5	112.5
7	Gary	148.5	37.5	111.0
8	Mike H	109.3	0.5	108.8
9	Gorecki	231.4	125.0	106.4
10	Robbie	88.3	16.3	72.1
11	Tall Mike	100.6	30.0	70.6
12	Big John	91.5	35.0	56.5
13	Geoff	48.4	4.5	43.9
14	Katie	74.0	53.0	21.0

Gorecki is going to tumble down the rankings if he can't replace those two wins that will expire, and Geoff and Katie need to start earning to make the cut. We have some players currently unqualified due to lack of rounds, so we'll see how things turn out when they get out of babysitting (hopefully) the first three tournaments of next season. Chandler and Faz are sitting pretty to be captains since they're point losing are quite low and they already have a ton of WGR points to start. That would be a fun rematch of the original Rapture captains, and Faz wouldn't be able to pick Ben, so he might actually win this time. Maybe he'd even win an individual point or even a half! Reid seems to be the only real threat to change that, as anyone else would need at least a win plus some to catch up.

Four more chances to get those future points up, so this could look a lot different after Southern Hills in May.

LOL Well this is a first...

Received an email this evening from the Scepter Golf Pro.
Those that were not in attendance can ask Casey what this is referring to.
I find it hilarious that a golf pro reached out and addressed this “incident”.
Perhaps this will lift the boycott Casey put on Scepter? Doubt it, but hey maybe the Pro will comp Casey’s owed pitcher given this morning’s event obviously affected his round today.
Enjoy the read and Chandler I’ll let you draft a response and be sure to include what you encountered at the restroom shack out on Falcon.
Mike,

I’m sorry that I missed you today. I hope you had a great time and enjoyed the course. Heather who was working the counter spoke to me about somebody wrecking the bathroom, and I wanted to apologize to you for that incident. At the end of the day, that is not something we want to happen, and we should have done a better job proactively noticing that before your golfers did.

Please let me know any feedback you have and I hope to see you in the future.

Mark

Jamaican Open - Driving Range Directions

Scepter's driving range is the old Falcon Watch range. Some of you have been there when we played Scepter last season.

If you're going to use the driving range, I recommend going there BEFORE you check in at the course. The pro gave us this address for your GPS:   1000 Kings Blvd, Sun City Center, FL 33573

It's next to a small building which is a "cyber cafe" for old people. Park there.

The address for the golf course is allegedly:   1226 Newpoint Loop, Sun City Center, FL 33573

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Do not bother going to the range if you aren't there BEFORE 8am. You're going to miss your tee time, and I'm going to DQ you if your group tees off. We're not allowing anyone to go "replay" holes they missed. You'll need enough time to drive from the range to the course, park, load up your cart, check in and pay, etc etc.

With Daylight Savings Time upon us... be sure to set your clock forward an hour on Saturday night. We're basically waking up at the old 5:30am. #earlyteetimes

Reid said this doesn't have a Jamaican feel to it... so I guess this year is the 1660 British Colony edition of the event.

See you down there. And long live the Queen.

2019 Rapture Update

As Buchert pointed out in a comment, due to the UF vs. Miami game moving to August 24th, which many of you are attending, the 2019 Rapture is now scheduled for August 16th, 17th and 18th. Update your calendars.

Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 15 - Countryside Country Club

As the season of handicap maintenance continues, we found ourselves at a course new to the BGR. Before looking into the course, the BGR would like to compliment Gorecki for the GenX Tavern preview for the hangover bar. The BGR would also like to soundly scold all of those that did not make it to the bar for this hallowed event. One of the WAGs in attendance gave birth two months, to the day, prior to this event, but she managed to make it out for some postpartum booze. I don’t know this for a fact, but I think there were more WAGs and guests in attendance than actual DPT members. Shame on all of you. Those of you that did attend, thank you for bringing your cash and giving it to Big John.

Big John and a friend laying on all the money you gave him, probably.

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start early

Those of us that did attend the hangover bar on Saturday night woke up at various levels of hungover/drunk. I fought off the Sunday morning scaries with a screwdriver at 8am and two Pedialytes on the front nine. Moral of the story, as with most private clubs, Countryside serves early and Countryside serves often. I will also note that since the Premiere Package crew has been spotty and no dues were collected this year. I have been eating a lot of clubhouse breakfast sammies. Countryside pales in comparison to some of the premiere package preferred providers, but I would wholeheartedly suggest them as a reasonable option for a pre-round snack.

On-course Service

When we first came upon Haven, the cart lady, it seemed as if she tailed us for about 5 holes. This was due to a few important facts. First, she stopped and served my group out of order so Gary could get his customary front nine Gatorade (you do realize they are a lot cheaper at the store right?). Second, Tall Mike was nice enough to send a Yuengling back “Big John”. Lastly, and maybe most importantly, she made a run to the bar to make Casey a Moscow Mule. Haven’s other shining moment was when 4 of us decided to go out and get another nine in. We ran into her in the cart barn and even though she had already closed out for the day she went ahead and sold us 6 pack and said she would add it to tomorrow’s sheet. She seemed a little clueless on the “oh hey those guys are hitting maybe I should go flying by with my after burners on” front, but she showed the devotion to keeping everyone inebriated that all cart girls could aspire to. Truly a master of her craft. Pricing seemed fair to this boozer’s eye. $20 for a 6 pack of domestic tall boys service charge included is a very reasonable number especially at a private course.

Clubhouse Experience

This place was packed and even though we are a loud bunch of hooligans no one seemed to mind us taking up all of the space in the middle of the bar area. I believe we had a total of 8 pitchers bought (honestly don’t know, but I bought my 3). The clubhouse was a bit of a quandary from a pricing standpoint. Bud light pitchers were $12, Jai-Lai pitchers for $25, and they would not honor the $20 domestic 6 pack that Haven had sold us all day. We are contemplating sending a BGR representative to speak with the club so they can try to attain a little more feng shui to their pricing scheme. Two seasons ago when the group of death finished a solid 45 minutes behind my threesome I very much enjoyed about 5 courses on the Sunday brunch. Sadly, sitting in the cellar prevented me from having enough time to get any real value from the brunch today, but it is highly recommended should you have the time in the future.

Shot of the week

Leave it to JW…wins for the first time in 61 rounds, but has to get out of there right after the round. Thankfully his boozer’s sense of loyalty overtook his family commitments and he waited for the last group in, had a couple of beers and enjoyed, after a little cajoling, a Baby Guinness with Irish Dave and myself. Let me tell you something about this “Baby” Guinness. It was basically half a glass full of Patron XO with some bailey’s that the lad of a bartender took the time to layer on top. Bottom line no shot should ever take two gulps to put away. Looking at the bill after the fact, I was at least happy that we seemed to get $8.75 worth of booze out of the process.

The Hangover Champion, Big John, and the Irishman enjoying a triple shot of tequila.

Pissability

There did seem to be a reasonable number of bathrooms on the course, but let’s be real: no one has to pee when there is a convenient bathroom nearby. It’s always on the tee box at the next hole. As far as the possibility of taking a leak without the neighbors sneaking a peak, forget about it. Somehow every single hole seemed to have multiple houses on it. I resorted to just trying to limit the miniature white snake viewings to one household at a time. I was told/witnessed of others simply taking a knee next to the cart in the fairway hoping that distance would prevent any of the granny’s from calling the clubhouse. Another group got yelled at after an errant drive lead to a "God dammit!" from the golfer. A neighboring homeowner screamed "no cussing!" in response. If they're close enough to scold for cussing, they're close enough to file charges for indecent exposure.

Overall

While my game is doing its very best to get me to quit golf, courses like Countryside are keeping me in the game. It’s also always a pleasure buying you all beers with the money you lost to me at banko the night before. This course is quite strong in the BGR’s eyes, but the crazy pricing of craft beer pitchers and honestly a somewhat disheveled clubhouse staff is going to keep them out of the top ranking. 5 ice cold beers.

Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 7 - Grasslands Golf and Country Club

Woke up this morning, finished off the dredges of last night's Woodford, and received a prompt call from the boozer host of the week confirming that the course was open and we could take our chances at trying the game. Unfortunately, God, or whoever controls the weather, is not a boozer and limited the round to 12-14 holes completed after multiple attempts to play on. We didn't walk into this week expecting much as Grasslands is a private course that had to do away with the beer cart a number of years ago due to over indulgence by the local boozers.

Grasslands Golf and Country Club

Do they have a beer cart?

No.

Can I have a Bloody Mary with my "Premier Package Donnie's Sanwhich?"

Yes, as has become custom in our recent rounds, the private courses don't care what time it is, the boozer is always welcomed to come refine their craft. I don't think anyone other than the host took advantage of the early booze sales, before the round, but at the turn/first rain out/second rain out everyone found that Anne may have the heaviest hands in all of Southwest Florida. Fortunately, the booze scouts were out and BGR officials warned everyone of the possible no drink option. BGR's newest #imapussythatwontpostbutireallyenjoyarobe Brendan (we may be rethinking this induction) brought out the beer papoose and kept his group filled. Group one had none other than yours truly and we were able to stay at a solid .079999 by asking most improved boozer of the week to purchase an easy 18 on Saturday morning on the way to the course. 

Is it expensive?

I want to climb to the top of the hills and scream GARY!!!!! This is not the Elmer Fudd Gary you all know and I love, but rather the bar area Gary that was happy to keep everyone boozed while we waited for the rain to pass for a safe ride home. The pitchers where reasonably price at ~$15. Gary was very accepting of our split ticket boozing and when I attempted to perform the Woodford Methodology he handed me a menu rather than a no. I'm going to suggest that if Woodford were on the menu it would have set new low price record at $8. 

How'd she do?

Grasslands is walking out with a measly 2 beers. I sit in awe of any golf course that sends the beer angel back to heaven due to their consumption, but why ruin it for everyone else? Today was not setup well for boozing, just like this great course was not prepared for 4 inches of rain in 5 minutes. Please remember to stock the bag before your next Grasslands round.

Update:

The BGR loves feedback, and we received a great suggestion recently: Course Pissability. With all the boozing going on, you're gonna need to relieve yourself at some point. How easy is it to find nature when nature calls?

Pissability

Grasslands is a community country club, so houses surround most holes. If not houses, you'll find roads and brief stretches uninhabited areas. 1, 2, and 3 are all pretty open areas with views from all around. Not ideal at all. Hole 4 has some nice spots along the left side of the fairway, and there's a bathroom at the green as well. Kind of redundant for urination if you've started your boozing pre-round or early in the round, but pretty clutch if your stomach isn't quite right from the night before. After that, you're pretty much stuck until the turn.

The back 9 is open and home-adjacent until the green at 12, although you do pass by the bathroom on the 4th green in the 12th fairway. If you don't take advantage of 12, you're going to run the risk of showing off to more houses until the tee box on 15. There's another bathroom by the green at 15 and tee box at 16, and then you're in some good tucked away areas at the green at 16. Highly recommend getting it all out there, because you'll be back into the open until you hit the clubhouse. 

Highly recommended to pee strategically at this course, and it gets a low pissability ranking because of it.

Southern Hills - Saturday

Anyone want to play Southern Hills on Saturday? Gary is going to book a tee time (or two) in the morning.

Hangover Invitational - Spring 2019

Do you remember where you were, when JW got his 2nd win in league history? Snapping a streak of 61 consecutive tournaments without a victory. That might not ever be broken, but it appears the highest current streak is Tall Mike with 34.

It was great to witness JW's round, as he really didn't do anything special... just managed the course and limited the blow-ups. He made nothing worse that double-bogey, which should always be the goal for people with 20+ handicaps. Honestly, he can win every week with that game-plan until his handicap drops to around 15.

His win comes 5 years and 1 day since his only other victory, also at the Hangover Invitational (RIP Quail Hollow).

We now have a log jam at the top, and what could be the closest finish in league history (Katie beat John by 114.2 in her rookie season). With two events remaining, seven people are officially eliminated from contention, and a few more are technically eliminated thanks to their RSVP schedule and playing requirements for the DPT Masters (you need 4 events to qualify).

Fun time after the round with all the pitchers purchased. We were going to pour out an entire pitcher in honor of John's dead golf game... but he opted to drop a mixed drink on the floor instead. All damages were placed on Casey's account.

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The Jamaican Open is this week at Scepter Golf Club, a course we've played a couple of times (once in a two-man scramble).

A handful of hippies have tickets to the Gasparilla Music Festival (not an officially recognized Club holiday) and "want/need" to play early. I've reluctantly agreed to a time that might allow them to attend both events.

This brings back up the "early vs. late" tee time debate, which many of you people live on the wrong side of delusion. I do keep documentation of each members' boisterous claims, just so I can throw it back in your face when you flip-flop as soon as it suits you.

First tee time is 8:38am. Considering the range is nowhere near the course, you'll need to wake before the sun rises if you want to warm up. After the round, all you people who desire early tee times can piss the day away on your couch, knowing that you could accomplish some weekend chores, despite the fact that you're not going to.

Rate is $50 and range balls are free assuming you get down there early enough to hit them. Also keep in mind that if you miss your tee time you'll be DQ'd. This happened to Tall Mike at the Hangover one year, when he showed up on the 3rd hole after over-sleeping.

If you are a "maybe" on the RSVP list, I'm going to give you one day to figure out your shit before I assume you're OUT and reduce the tee times.

More info to come later.

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The Rapture this year will almost definitely be played on August 16th-18th. I'm working out the details and searching for some houses... but we'll also probably just be taking 12 people due to all the new babies recently born/expected. So go put this on your calendar NOW.

Later this week I'll post the official RSVP list so we have an idea how many potential attendees we have.