Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 7 - Grasslands Golf and Country Club

Woke up this morning, finished off the dredges of last night's Woodford, and received a prompt call from the boozer host of the week confirming that the course was open and we could take our chances at trying the game. Unfortunately, God, or whoever controls the weather, is not a boozer and limited the round to 12-14 holes completed after multiple attempts to play on. We didn't walk into this week expecting much as Grasslands is a private course that had to do away with the beer cart a number of years ago due to over indulgence by the local boozers.

Grasslands Golf and Country Club

Do they have a beer cart?

No.

Can I have a Bloody Mary with my "Premier Package Donnie's Sanwhich?"

Yes, as has become custom in our recent rounds, the private courses don't care what time it is, the boozer is always welcomed to come refine their craft. I don't think anyone other than the host took advantage of the early booze sales, before the round, but at the turn/first rain out/second rain out everyone found that Anne may have the heaviest hands in all of Southwest Florida. Fortunately, the booze scouts were out and BGR officials warned everyone of the possible no drink option. BGR's newest #imapussythatwontpostbutireallyenjoyarobe Brendan (we may be rethinking this induction) brought out the beer papoose and kept his group filled. Group one had none other than yours truly and we were able to stay at a solid .079999 by asking most improved boozer of the week to purchase an easy 18 on Saturday morning on the way to the course. 

Is it expensive?

I want to climb to the top of the hills and scream GARY!!!!! This is not the Elmer Fudd Gary you all know and I love, but rather the bar area Gary that was happy to keep everyone boozed while we waited for the rain to pass for a safe ride home. The pitchers where reasonably price at ~$15. Gary was very accepting of our split ticket boozing and when I attempted to perform the Woodford Methodology he handed me a menu rather than a no. I'm going to suggest that if Woodford were on the menu it would have set new low price record at $8. 

How'd she do?

Grasslands is walking out with a measly 2 beers. I sit in awe of any golf course that sends the beer angel back to heaven due to their consumption, but why ruin it for everyone else? Today was not setup well for boozing, just like this great course was not prepared for 4 inches of rain in 5 minutes. Please remember to stock the bag before your next Grasslands round.

Update:

The BGR loves feedback, and we received a great suggestion recently: Course Pissability. With all the boozing going on, you're gonna need to relieve yourself at some point. How easy is it to find nature when nature calls?

Pissability

Grasslands is a community country club, so houses surround most holes. If not houses, you'll find roads and brief stretches uninhabited areas. 1, 2, and 3 are all pretty open areas with views from all around. Not ideal at all. Hole 4 has some nice spots along the left side of the fairway, and there's a bathroom at the green as well. Kind of redundant for urination if you've started your boozing pre-round or early in the round, but pretty clutch if your stomach isn't quite right from the night before. After that, you're pretty much stuck until the turn.

The back 9 is open and home-adjacent until the green at 12, although you do pass by the bathroom on the 4th green in the 12th fairway. If you don't take advantage of 12, you're going to run the risk of showing off to more houses until the tee box on 15. There's another bathroom by the green at 15 and tee box at 16, and then you're in some good tucked away areas at the green at 16. Highly recommend getting it all out there, because you'll be back into the open until you hit the clubhouse. 

Highly recommended to pee strategically at this course, and it gets a low pissability ranking because of it.