Play Golf & Watch Football in Westchase this Sunday

Posting to see who all would be interested in playing at Westchase Golf Club this Sunday (1/2).

We'd be doing a shotgun start around 7:15am as the local league there plays a Quota Point Tournament each Sunday and they have open 4some spots this week probably due to the holidays. So we would tee off at the tail end of their shotgun group and receive the benefit of their league rate which I believe is around $45.

We can then head to my place after for food and drink and watch the bucs game.

I'll need to send them how many foursomes to hold for us so comment on here or text me if you're in.

Thanks and Happy New Year FBGC!

2022 - Spring Dues

First week of the next season is less than one month away. Time to start paying your dues.

Click on the link in the "Deadbeat List" to see what - if anything - you owe.

If you owe something, send it in to me via PayPal or Venmo.

Enjoy the holidays. And remind your WAGs that golf season is quickly approaching.

Night Golf

Casey has been trying to convince Countyside to bring back their night golf event, where you hit reduced flight glow-in-the-dark balls on one of their 9-hole layouts.

A few of us did it two years ago, and it was a blast. One of those... you need to get a ride type of deals.

Anyway, it's tentatively scheduled for Saturday, February 19th. But they need to know how many to expect before they make it official. He's been promising a large turnout.

If you want in, make a comment and put it on your calendar.

FBGC - 2022 Schedule (tentative)

I hope everyone is enjoying their off-season. Still eagerly awaiting word of any BGR tournaments and/or Miser Mixers.

Anyway, below is the tentative schedule for both 2022 seasons. A handful of you keep good calendars so mark down these dates... and more importantly those bye weeks! We might have a longer than usual break between Spring and Summer seasons... so I'll be looking to plan some sort of exhibition tournament(s) during that time.

I don't think the 2022 Gasparilla Music Fest has been planned yet, so for the three of you who want to go see Travis Scott... hopefully we'll be playing early that day?

See you all soon!

FBGC Winter 2021 Board Meeting

Here's what was discussed at our Winter 2021 Board Meeting — now with more Geoff! My "minutes" are complete shit, so I apologize in advance to the Board when I misquote things:

New Membership

Dan was confirmed 5-0 for re-admittance to the Club, capping our Membership at 24 players. For the first time ever, if we have a prospective Member... they'll be on a wait list.

John wanted the record to show that if Dan quits a second time, he's never voting for him again. I feel this has to do with John's abandonment issues.

Dan re-joins the field with a 5.3 Index... increasing our number of "good" golfers to three. This will have dramatic Rapture implications, assuming Dan plays enough events to auto-qualify.

Elimination of Gimmies

This passed 5-0... but not without some hot debate and concerns. John was a resounding "no" for awhile, despite the fact that we could always revisit the policy this time next year. JW was also on the fence, creating a realistic chance the motion could fail. In an unprecedented move, the Board decided to eliminate gimmies, but with a special session after the Spring season to re-vote on the rule.

For the Spring 2022 season, "gimmie putts" are outlawed. If you casually miss a tap-in, it counts as a stroke.

Any gimmie related issues and concerns should be brought up to your respective Board Member, so they'll have some insight when we re-vote in the Summer.

Buchert Ideas

- Eliminate Lift, Clean & Place: This only failed 2-3.

JW & John voted to get rid of it, and play the ball down everywhere. Reasons for the three "no" votes dealt with the year-round mud-ball conditions in Florida fairways. Allowing you to clean a ball in the fairway is not only a reward for a good (directional) tee shot... but also an added penalty for straying into the rough.

 

There's a reason we require your ball to find the fairway on long drive payouts. It's an important test of the game, and it's OK to give a little bonus for accomplishing that goal.

 

Faz was very concerned with policing the elimination of LC&P in fairways — as many of you (like Brendan's buddies) would just continue to roll your balls anyway. Hopefully we don't have to penalize people for doing so in the rough. Stop touching your rough balls!

- Allowing Lift, Clean & Place Everywhere: This failed 0-5. The quotes I wrote down were: "No." and "Roundly rejected!"

 

 - Relegation: This had zero chance of passing (failed 0-5 anyway), as the Chairman would never allow membership to increase above 24 people (a By-Law change). 

 

So without adding Members, we'd need two separate divisions within our current population... perhaps 16/8 or 20/4. This would routinely demote those who miss a lot of tournaments due to seasonal life situations. Dave, for example, travels to Ireland and tends to miss events in the Summer. He would likely be relegated in the Summer, only to be promoted in the Spring (unable to win the Spring Cup), and then relegated again next Summer.

The idea just didn't seem to improve anything.

- Lock handicaps at the start of the season: Faz led the discussion with: "That's the dumbest thing Buchert has ever said." It then failed 0-5. We talked about updating handicaps MORE often, but we didn't think even weekly updates was worth the additional time/effort needed. There's also some concern with the lack of scores posted by certain people. So for now, handicap revisions will continue on the 1st and 15th. 

 

- "Good" pitchers lowered to -8, and perhaps making the worst player of that group pay for it? 

The second part of this — having the worst player in a group pay for another persons good pitcher — failed 0-5. None of the Board had any desire to further penalize players beyond the +10 (net) pitcher(s).

 

The first part of this — lowering to -8 — failed 3-2 (4 votes needed to pass). Chandler and Geoff blocked it from happening. While this would undoubtedly increase the pitcher counts, we already run an unacceptable balance on owed pitchers. Chandler stated: "I'm not voting for any beer-related suggestion by someone who doesn't attend the bar."

 

That's not to say all suggestions aren't appreciated. Speaking of...

Gorecki Ideas

- Pay out each week's winners in cash: Failed 0-5. Chandler's quotes: "That asshole doesn't pay his league dues in cash... so why would I go get cash from an ATM to pay out winnings?" 

 

And: "The purpose of pre-payment and Club Credit is to not deal with money changing hands before or after a tournament. Gorecki didn't like chasing down money in Naples... I don't like doing it 18+ times a year either."

- Pay out each week's winners in Venmo/PayPal/Zelle: Failed 0-5. More Chandler quotes: "Being paid electronically completely defeats the argument that he likes the feeling of receiving money after victories."

We've also historically had a lot of scorecard "inconsistencies." Standings aren't finalized until the next day, so we wouldn't pay out monies immediately following events anyway.

 

- Pay out any Club Credit balance over $130 at the end of every season: Failed 0-5. At this point John motioned to kick Gorecki out of the Club for "being a miser." The motion failed 1-4, but the time was 8:59pm for those who were betting the over/under on when it would be proposed.

 

Geoff wanted the record to show that it once took 2+ years for Gorecki to pay him a $3 bet. And when it finally happened, he paid in quarters.

The Chairman wants everyone to know that all balances were fully re-paid to each of the three people who retired from the Club in the "Club Credit Era." The accounting of such balances can be found on this blog in the Deadbeat List section. Chandler also suggested a $2.99 service fee for any balance withdraw before ending your Membership — but that wasn't officially voted on.

 

- Pay out skins AND stroke-play in the Skins Game: Failed 0-5. The Board congratulated itself for voting this down in 2019 and 2021.

 

- Collect and pay out additional money to the winner of each Match Play match: Failed 0-5. This adds zero value and each match can make their own side bets.

 

- Lift, Clean & Place in bunkers: Failed 0-5. Already a rule for your ball resting in a footprint.

 

Other Votes

- Lift, Clean & Place when it's cartpath only: We discussed this a lot, including how these decisions are currently made.

In general, if an entire course is cartpath only due to wet conditions, we've allowed LC&P everywhere except bunkers/hazards. If only one hole is cartpath only, we haven't historically ruled any additional relief. If a bunch of holes were cartpath only, we erred on just allowing LC&P on the entire course.

The point is... it's a game-time decision made by the Board. We discussed trying to make an objective "rule," but couldn't agree on anything that would pass. Especially when we have people who would point out that par-3s are always cartpath only, and thus one could then play LC&P on those holes.

One example was brought up about the 2021 Rapture, where our 2nd round at Vineyards miraculously wasn't cartpath only... despite being so the day before. We were rushed to the course (my fault), but because there were no restrictions we ruled you needed to play the ball down in the rough. Apparently on the first hole, Melberg and Travis were annoyed by muddy conditions in the rough and thought LC&P should have been allowed.

I didn't personally play this hole... so I can't comment on the specific conditions. Neither could any other Board member. But if it was as muddy as I'm being told, then "casual water" should have come into play (now called "Temporary Water" in USGA rule 16). If you stand next to your ball and water seeps up from the ground, then you get to move it (with lift, clean and drop). This is always the case, on every course, even in the bunkers (not hazards). If the ball was on dry land and just had mud on it... that's the rub of the green. Feel free to yell "mud ball!" after you hit it.

Of the 17 holes at Vineyards I did play, none of them needed to be LC&P in my opinion.

So we are going to continue to rule on flood-related LC&P on a case-by-case basis. Just talk with a Board member before any round in question.

- Comment links: The Board voted 5-0 to retire the "Pool Pump" comment link, in favor of "Shits Given".

FBGC Dream Season - (vol. 1?)

A #content idea popped into my head tonight, and now you people have a homework assignment:

 

Every Member is tasked with clicking the "Pool Pump" button, and creating their own "Dream Season." What we need is nine events, with nine courses associated. Furthermore:

• It should be a realistic list. Don't put shit like Scotland... or courses in Lafayette, LA because your in-laws live there. If your Chairman got hit by a bus tomorrow and you had to plan the next season... where would you go?
  

• Cost should be in-line with whatever you believe is expected from the Club every season.
  

• If you're struggling between Winter courses vs. Summer courses, then give both options. I can't imagine that your ordering of events would change depending on the season... but if that's the case then submit two completely different lists.

• Participation is not mandatory. And our Chairman will not submit a list — because you can already find 19 of his hand-crafted schedules on this website.

 

Gorecki, playing the front tees, surrounded by vultures on Buffy Creek.

  

*Your answers will be data mined, and analyzed for future #content.

According to Golf Digest...and your former Board Member

Our Comish has granted me access to start a post...meh...#blogbetter

Saw this article today and thought it was appropriate to share with league members in the context of Buchert's recent suggestions.

FBGC already embraces most of these 'rules'...just nice to know that GD agrees!

https://www.golfdigest.com/story/dumbest-things-in-golf-part-4?utm_medium=email&utm_source=102121&utm_campaign=hitlist&utm_content=DM22351&uuid=6e7f3f17b4ca4e7c8f33e76bef9ef5aa

Buchert's Off-Season Thoughts - 2021 Edition

We have a Board meeting next week. Below was sent in by Buchert, for review and discussion:

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Random Off Season Ideas – Which will all be rejected, but I’m going to put them forward anyway to help Dear Leader with #content.

- Relegation: I was late to the party and just started watching Ted Lasso. First of all, it is an
amazing show and I highly recommend checking it out. For those of you that are unfamiliar with
the term Relegation, the British Football (soccer) Leagues have a system where the bottom
teams are demoted to the lower league and the best teams from the lower leagues can be
promoted to a higher league. With our league basically maxed out for membership, should we
look at a Relegation system to make things interesting at the bottom of the rankings each
season? This is coming from someone that has spent A LOT of time in last place. If there are
people that are interested in joining the league but there is no room, this could be a decent way
of rotating people in. Ultimately, if you do get relegated, you would be able to get back in the
after the following season because other players would then be relegated.

- Get rid of lift, clean and place in the fairways: This rule was around before I joined the league,
so I’m not sure why it was implemented. However, it seems odd that we try to follow some of
the most complicated rules of golf and ignore the most basic: play your ball as it lies. If we’re
thinking about getting rid of gimme putts, maybe we should just go all the way and play golf in
its purest form?

- Set handicaps at the beginning of the season and make no adjustment throughout the season as
far as league events or potentially just one or two adjustments. Obviously, this would get rid of
or lessen the fact that playing well in the beginning of the season makes it harder to win at the
end of the season.

- Adjust the “good” pitcher score down to -8 or lower. So that there is no financial penalty for
shooting a good score, the person shooting the worst net score in your foursome has to buy the
pitcher.

2021 Rapture Recap

Another Rapture in the history books, as Geoff an his Blue Team completely annihilated Tall Mike and his Orange Team. It never really felt close, even though being down 1-3 after the first session is far from a death sentence. The Oranges knew something was wrong... and they were in trouble. It's not like their morale was down in the weeds. Spirits were quite high, and they spent all evening hashing out half-baked ideas to even the score. But the Moses was going up in smoke — to put it bluntly.

Melberg on Hole #1 at Talis Park.

A path to victory would be damn near impossible without at least splitting Day 2 (Chapman) — and for some reason the match-ups looked worse than they did the day before. It didn't help that our Chairman (hey, that's me!) got the tee time wrong and we were late to Vineyards CC, losing all range time and starting two matches on the 2nd hole. In what might be the biggest Rapture Miracle of all time, 15 of you people rolled with the unfortunate circumstance and made the best of it with minimal complaints. Still, it wasn't good for the team with a Range Rat as a Captain. 

 

One of the keys to an Orange comeback would be to somehow get a point out of Darren & Danny. That outcome would heavily rely on Gorecki (also a Range Rat) who played terribly on Day 1 and legit ruined a dominant performance by Melberg (73 gross). Turns out — as many of us have speculated — Gorecki's biggest hindrance is his own smooth brain. He striped a ball off the first tee down the middle, and was lights out on the greens — sinking multiple putts outside of 6-feet. Ho proved to be a perfect partner, and the match was never in doubt after the front nine.

Blue's 6-2 lead after Day 2 was the second largest in history. Orange needed 6 of 8 points the final day to force a playoff. This years' Rapture was going to be either one of the biggest beat-downs in history, or one of the worst collapses.

 

Orange is the new suck.

Late on Sunday, the scoreboard showed 2-2-4, giving a glimmer of hope of an exciting finish. But once Travis won the 18th hole in a tight match with Brendan, the outcome was final. Orange was unable to save face with the remaining close matches, losing all but one.

Blue Team wins - 13 - 3.

2021 Rapture Winners

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Since my opinion is the only one that matters — as I'm the only one willing to write #content — here are my thoughts on the weekend:

- In eight years, only three Raptures have been "blow-outs." It's way too small of a sample size to infer any legitimate conclusion. But our tournaments are handicapped, so outcomes should always be a combination of 1) who's coming in hot and 2) who historically just isn't good at closing matches.

- Three players were on all three teams that received an ass beating.

- Darren beat Gary 2&1 to score Orange's only point on Sunday. It was Darren's first ever victory in Singles at the Rapture. He earned the most "pay for performance" money on the Orange team. Not bad for the last pick of the draft.

 

- Sunday might be the best I've ever seen Gorecki putt. I'm told he did the same on Saturday. He also chipped in for par (net birdie) on 17, and had a few other clutch up-and-downs... including one on 18 to win — handing Chandler his first ever loss in Singles at the Rapture.

- Four guys went 3-0, earning $50 net on the weekend: Geoff, Reid, Ho, Travis

- Three guys went 0-3, earning -$50 net on the weekend: Dave, Casey, Danny

 

- On Sunday, Casey made a 40-ish foot bomb for par on 18 to potentially halve his match. Ho then covered him up with an 8-ish footer of his own to win. This was the only exciting thing I saw on the final hole, and it would have been cool if it meant something.

- Melberg shot a 75 on Sunday despite hitting two balls OB.

- We once again got extremely lucky with the weather, somehow avoiding any cart restrictions despite a few downpours on Thursday and Friday. I think the 1st/2nd weekend of October will be the target for the foreseeable future. It's our best chance for decent weather while avoiding holidays, rate hikes, and meaningful football games.

- The final total for the weekend was $375 (golf and housing). Again, the Rapture is a value event. One where we check out courses we would never visit under normal Club/League/Vacation circumstances. Our group already has a yearly big (and expensive) golf trip. So every time you people start suggesting overpriced resort destinations... I immediately stop listening to you. My face may still look like I'm listening... but I'm not.

- All three courses were great. Talis Park was immaculate, without a single bad lie anywhere on the property. A lot of people commented on the greens (and fairways). Those were both Sea Dwarf Paspalum, which is a salt-tolerant grass. We don't have any course in our area (to my knowledge) using it.

- Conditions on Vineyards CC (South) were solid as well. The greens were punched/verticut more recently than I had hoped, but they rolled nice and were faster than Talis Park. For those wondering, their greens were Tiff Eagle, which we see a lot of in Tampa. The layout itself was kida "meh." Nothing memorable, all the holes looked the same.

- Finally, River Hall was a great way to end the event. Wide open but with enough bunkering and thick grassy areas to keep your driver honest. I absolutely loved the contours of the greens (also Tiff Eagle).

- I heard a couple of comments about group "cohesiveness." When we increased participation in 2017, the Rapture basically went from one 12-person trip to two 8-person trips. Coordination is quite difficult, as Gorecki learned at Thursday dinner. Some of you need intensive hand-holding — which I'm not saying as an insult. You'll be perfect for geriatric river cruises later in life. But making decisions on the fly, and actually getting up and "doing things" isn't for everyone. Good or bad, when you're drafted onto a Rapture team... that is your pod for the weekend. 

- "Why don't we just get one giant house?" Great question, River Cruise Person. It's looked at every year. They're extremely difficult to find, and usually cost thousands per night. I'm also not convinced that 16 people in one house is a good idea. But if I ever see the right one, we'll give it a shot.

- We now go into our long off-season. As always, I encourage you to post outings or organize events (you won't). We'll fire up next season sometime in January. Until then, I'll continue to post any administrative stuff that comes up. Thanks to all for another great Rapture!

Gary and Reid - 18th at Talis Park

Orange House Breakfast

I'll start by making a few things clear.

• I will go ahead and say that Brendan first envisioned Rapture breakfast, but ultimately I am claiming responsibility for the execution.
• There seems to be a baseless debate as to who makes the better breakfast. Its me!! I wasn't even there to make breakfast one morning last year, due to a #faketeeballgame, and still got rave reviews.
• Prep work is important and I don't fault Brendan for casseroles.
• Brendan makes great menus but relies on the more competent to meet expectations.

With that said, and it probably didn't need to be said anyways, the dream team has spent countless hours curating the following culinary delights:

• Friday - The Orange Team will fuel up with omelets to order, hash browns, and a selection of seasonal fruit.
• Available ingredients will be - Sausage, Bacon, Peppers, Onions, Mushrooms, and Tomatoes
• Saturday - Back by popular demand will be brioche French Toast and sausage complimented by Fruit and Yogurt
• Sunday - Since we will be on the road at 8am everyone will have a bagel, egg, cheese, and sausage or bacon or vegetarian sandwich ready to take on the road accompanied by a banana.

I anticipate us having some food available for blue house people, but not planning on cooking for 16. So give us a call in the morning and I will let you know.

2021 Rapture Rules and Info - Part 2

Let's talk about the golf:

The first two rounds tee off at 11am. Both are private Clubs, one of which I called in a favor from my father-in-law. Be sure to wear proper golf attire at all times.

The last round is an hour north, at 10am. So we'll be checking out early and playing on our way back to Tampa.

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Round 2 is Chapman, which is a modified alternate shot. In seven years, we're not sure Gary has ever played this format correctly — despite detailed explanations like this one. Don't be like Gary. Learn the format.

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A few rules reminders for The Rapture:

- You have to ride with your opponent in Singles (day 3).

 

- You can NOT give your teammate advice on the green in Singles (day 3). You can help read putts the first two days, but on the final day it's an individual event.

 

- There is NO +5 max on any day. That being said... pick up your ball and move on when you have no chance of winning a hole. That's the spirit of Match Play.

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We'll be using GolfGameBook, but the physical scorecard at the golf course is king. If you get 4 strokes, be sure to put dots on your scorecard. GolfGameBook isn't guaranteed to have the correct hole-by-hole handicaps.

 

A seasoned GGB veteran should be the one in each group using the app... and making sure whatever it says matches the scorecard... even if that means you have to fudge the numbers.

 

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Handicaps are locked. Here's the final information:

 

Round 1 - Talis Park - Four-Ball (Member Tees - 6140 yards)
1 - Faz (3) / Travis (4) vs. Dave (0) / Brendan (9)
2 - Melberg (0) / Gorecki (18) vs. Moostie (9) / John (10)
3 - Ho (0) / Geoff (7) vs. Casey (1) / Darren (6)
4 - Reid (7) / Gary (4) vs. Chandler (0) / Danny (14)

Round 2 - Vineyards (S) - Chapman (II Tees - 6295 yards)
1 - Ho / Gorecki vs. Danny / Darren (5)

2 - Reid / Geoff (7) vs. Moostie / Dave
3 - Gary / Faz vs. Chandler / Brendan
4 - Melberg / Travis vs. Casey / John (6)

Round 3 - River Hall - Singles (White Tees - 6051 yards)
1 - Gary vs. Darren (2)
2 - Travis vs. Brendan (5)
3 - Faz vs. Danny (12)
4 - Gorecki (14) vs. Chandler
5 - Geoff (4) vs. John
6 - Ho vs. Casey (1)
7 - Melberg vs. Dave (2)
8 - Reid (1) vs. Moostie

 

See you Thursday.

2021 Rapture Rules and Info - Part 1

Listen up people...

We are rooming together by team. It seems AirBNBs are adding stricter language, and higher monetary penalties. I guess owners are tired of people breaking things and pissing into storage containers.

 

I looked at over 50 potential rentals to eventually find two within walking distance, with pools, and a good "value." You're going to have fun. Let's not ruin my ability to book future Rapture locations by having too much fun.

 

 

Houses:

Both houses have a pool. Both have strict language about "no smoking." Those of you with oral fixations are going to need to get creative. Especially if you can smell your "special cigarettes" over a block away. Take a walk around the neighborhood or something. Or hotbox Darren's car like he did in high school.

The Orange house seems very uptight:

    - No guests allowed

    - No outside music at any time

    - No outside noise after 9pm

    - Only three cars allowed on property

    - The woman lives in the neighborhood, and I have to personally meet her to get the keys.

    - There's a "security camera" onsite...

The Blue house is where any poker/banko will have to take place. But for the most part, we shouldn't be partying too hard in the houses. That's what bars are for.

 

If someone has an air-mattress they enjoy, make a comment and bring it. Especially in the Blue house. It might be your best chance of avoiding Ho's midnight cuddles.

 

I'd also highly recommend bringing soap/shampoo/towel. I believe both of these houses allow us to flush toilet paper.

I'll email each team an address before we leave.

 

 

Bars/Restaurants:

 

Within 1.5 miles is Mercato — which is basically the outdoor section of International Mall. "The Pub" (same one at International) is where a lot of people go for overpriced drinks.

The "North Naples Country Club" is a dive bar that's a 12-minute walk from our houses, and has good reviews on Yelp.

 

Jet's Pizza is at the end of our street (2 blocks).

There's also the "Bone Hook Brewing Company" down the road. And the beach is only a 5-minute drive, with some bars/restaurants as well.

 

A Super Walmart is very close for all your snack and toiletry needs — much more convenient than Orlando last year.

 

Final Payment:

 

Everyone has paid me $160, which only covers housing. I allegedly have to pay for the entire group Day 1 and Day 2. We also all owe $50 to the pot for the "pay for performance" purse. 

 

Because of this, I'll figure out what the final total is ($210-ish) and charge you all later. Maybe even after the Rapture. Don't worry about it for now.

2021 Rapture Picks

We're 10 days away from heading down to the 2021 Rapture. Here are my picks:

Round 1 - Four Ball

Faz/Travis vs. Dave/Brendan - Any time Faz gets a few pops on the scorecard, he's difficult to bet against. However, Travis' handicap finally caught up to him after a honeymoon improvement period.

 

Dave and Brendan both have winning Four Ball records, and Brendan's 9-ish strokes are deadly with the guidance of Guru Harrio. Dave/Brendan cruise 4&2, and Dave sells Brendan a 30-pack of "teachings" in the Tennessee wilderness.

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Melberg/Gorecki vs. Moostie/John - John and Moostie have an unbreakable bond, going back to their Elephant Walking days at the frat house. They'll be very comfortable feverishly grinding over the course, lubed up with copious strokes.

 

Melberg will be doing all he can to captain his ship through treacherous waters. There's no doubt he's up to the task, as we saw when he shot 6-fucking-under (gross) at Southport Springs. Too bad Gorecki is a boat anchor, dragging the team (and the iceberg) to the bottom of the ocean. Orange wins 3&1.

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Ho/Geoff vs. Casey/Darren - I really don't like either of these teams. Geoff's been getting lessons and his handicap has recently dropped — which is good and bad depending on how you look at it. Ho fell off the Rainbow Road to Scratch, only to miraculously land on the track below creating a shortcut. His Index decreased over 4 points in the last four months, apparently peaking too early.

 

Casey is 0-2 in this format, and his previous five rounds have ranged from +9 to +23 (gross). Darren has been struggling lately, desperate to find some sort of consistency before our most prestigious event.

 

If I was going to show a stranger what it's like to be a Member of our Club... I'd show them this match. Put it down as a halve.

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Gary/Reid vs. Chandler/Danny - On paper, Gary/Reid should be a good team, as long as they don't blow-up on the same holes. When this happens they bicker like an old married couple (ie: 2020 Rapture).

 

Chandler is struggling with putting yips, which could plague him all weekend. Danny gets 14-ish strokes, so I think the outcome falls on his shoulders. If he plays well... it'll be an easy point for Team Orange. Armed with this knowledge, I'm picking Gary/Reid to win 2 Up.

 

 

Round 2 - Chapman

Ho/Gorecki vs. Darren/Danny - This match comes down to the 5-ish strokes Darren/Danny are getting... vs. the ability for Ho to stay positive while he's hitting 200+ yard approach shots and watching Gorecki pump his Kirkland Signature balls into the water. I think the Vineyards is going to beat us up a bit, which will be especially difficult for teams of opposite skill-sets.

 

The Double Ds just need to do what they do best... sag and swing. Give me those two boobs 2 & 1.

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Reid/Geoff vs. Dave/Moostie - Guru Harrio moves on to his next sucker student: Tall Mike. Dave will encourage Moostie to be himself, and stay on his chosen path. If Mike is meant to be a slow golfer, then dammit, Dave is going to help him realize his dream.

 

Reid/Geoff's 7-ish strokes are nothing to sneeze at, but the annoyance of listening to the Dave Moostie Band all day — without any harmonica interludes — causes Geoff to eject on the final hole. Orange wins 1 Up.

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Faz/Gary vs. Chandler/Brendan - Faz and Gary getting a stroke? Woof. In golf, distance is king, and both these Blues are long hitters (even if Gary no longer believes it). Right now, our Club's default patriarch is hitting the big stick better than he has in years.

Brendan recently went through the shanks, but swears he's high and dry on Noah's Ark at the moment. The only time CBBD paired up was in 2016 Chapman, where they lost to JW/Gorecki (2&1). That's a stain that won't wash out, no matter how much "perspective" (ie: children) Brendan has gained since then. Faz/Gary win 2&1.

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Melberg/Travis vs. Casey/John - Melberg and Travis are used to playing the back tees, where they both hit towering bombs with decent accuracy. In my opinion, similar playing styles are the best pairings.

In contrast, Casey and John are prone to completely lose their drivers during the round. It's difficult to win in Chapman when you don't have two reasonable approach shots. To me, this would be the Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week (the Bucs somehow won this game), if not for the 6-ish strokes Casey/John receive. Blue still wins 4&3.

Heading into Singles, Orange is leading 4.5 - 3.5.

Round 3 - Singles

Gary vs. Darren - Darren has famously never won a Singles match in Rapture history. He's only getting 2-ish from Gary, which might not seem like enough given Darren's poor recent play. However both of these guys played an exhibition match recently, with Gary going Eagle - Birdie (gross) the final two holes to tie Darren. I'm not going to predict a tie. Darren wins 1 Up and stops the winless streak.

Travis vs. Brendan - What do you think will be higher? The 5-ish strokes Brendan receives... or the total hours of sleep Travis gets over the weekend? Brendan wins as Travis crashes.

Faz vs. Danny - Faz is worried about giving Danny 12-ish strokes. It's a lot, especially on a course that looks pretty wide open. High handicappers (basically just Danny and Gorecki) are about .500 in Singles. But by day 3, Danny will probably have sprained an ankle trying to hit a ball out of a lake. Faz wins.

Gorecki vs. Chandler - Somehow, in 11 years of Club history... Chandler has never played Gorecki in Singles. Neither in the Rapture, nor in seasonal Match Play. It's completely unbelievable. So... Gorecki wins with his embarrassing 14-ish strokes.

Geoff vs. John - Geoff gets 3-ish strokes. Him and John have never faced off in Singles either. I'll take John since Geoff is going to act like his favorite high school necklace and choke.

Ho vs. Casey - Casey only getting 1 or 2 strokes here... which doesn't seem like enough. Ho is playing some really good golf lately. Allegedly. He doesn't seem to do that with us. Do we make him nervous? Ho wins regardless.

Melberg vs. Dave - The match we all wanted to see. Dave should be getting a couple pops after dropping off that 74 from the tips at Ozark National. Technically Melberg and Dave have the highest Singles winning percentages in Club history. I'll take Melberg, who was drafted #1 overall for a reason. Plus... I'm down on the Euros in team golf right now.

Reid vs. Moostie - This match might not finish before dark. Reid's Singles record is way better than Tall Mike's — and he's 2-1 against him directly. You could say Singles is good for Reid. Hooray for Singles. Singles for life! Reid wins.

Final prediction... Blue wins 8.5 to 7.5.

Ryder Cup - Saturday Watching

Some of you may be aware the Ryder Cup is this weekend. I'll be having people over on Saturday to watch if you're interested. Coverage is literally all day — 7am to 6pm — so I'm not really "planning" anything. Just giving us a place to hang out and grill if you'd like.

- Come over whenever.

- Bring any food you'd like for the grill.

- Bring alcohol.

- Yes, wives and girlfriends are welcome.

- I'll have a 2nd TV for football (on mute).

See you Saturday. Maybe.

 

Also, I'm told someone is actually planning an "event" for us on October 3rd. The new BGR, perhaps? Stay tuned for that.

Rapture Reminders

We're less than a month away from the 2021 Rapture. Things you should be doing, or have already done:

• Making sure you're off work on Friday, October 8th
  
• Coordinating rides down to Naples on Thursday, October 7th. Comment on here when you get a car figured out so we have an idea who's arriving together.
• Informing your WAG you'll be gone that weekend.
  
• If you're planning on getting COVID, I'd recommend doing so now. If not... then be careful out there.
• We only have two alternates: Billy and Topor. If someone has to bail for any reason, we'll attempt to replace them with those alternates. But the closer we get to the event, the more likely they won't be available to fill in.
  
• If a team is down a player and we can't get a Club Member alternate... their partner will be playing by themselves Rounds 1 & 2. In Chapman they'll just be playing one ball (not multiple shots). In Singles, it's an automatic forfeit.
• This will probably lead to three lost points. Bailing in team golf should be super penal, and every Club event operates this way (as Faz discovered up in NJ).
• Report your scores. Some of you do a good job of this, or at least use apps that I can check. Others are complete shit. Text me scores if you play during the off-season and we aren't "friends" on an app.
  
• Get your gear in order. Balls. Gloves. Rain gear. Blue/Orange shirts. Etc.
  
• We usually do a terrible job with pictures. Picture Day is going to be Friday before our first round at Talis Park. Wear your best colors then.

These are *estimated* strokes for each match. They're subject to change on October 1st, but this should give you an idea if you want to make some commentary/picks::

Round 1 - Talis Park - Four-Ball
1 - Faz (3) / Travis (4) vs. Dave (0) / Brendan (9)
2 - Melberg (0) / Gorecki (18) vs. Moostie (9) / John (10)
3 - Ho (0) / Geoff (7) vs. Casey (1) / Darren (7)
4 - Reid (7) / Gary (5) vs. Chandler (0) / Danny (14)

Round 2 - Vineyards (S) - Chapman (Alt-Shot)
1 - Ho / Gorecki vs. Danny / Darren (5)

2 - Reid / Geoff (7) vs. Moostie / Dave
3 - Gary / Faz (1) vs. Chandler / Brendan
4 - Melberg / Travis vs. Casey / John (6)

Round 3 - River Hall - Singles
1 - Gary vs. Darren (2)
2 - Travis vs. Brendan (5)
3 - Faz vs. Danny (12)
4 - Gorecki (14) vs. Chandler
5 - Geoff (3) vs. John
6 - Ho vs. Casey (1)
7 - Melberg vs. Dave (2)
8 - Reid (1) vs. Moostie

2021 Rapture Course - Chapman

Our final course is booked for the 2021 Rapture, playing Chapman on Saturday at 10am at Vineyards (South).

This is a private course which was recommended, so I have no idea what to expect. They're also asking us to pay as a group, so I'll add it to your tab and collect while we're down there — about $210 for: Friday golf, Saturday golf, and $50 entry fee.

This course was built in 1987, designed by Bill Amick — who also did Mangrove Bay & Pebble Creek! It hosted a Champions Tour event five times, the first two (1990 & 1991) won by Lee Trevino.

Based on the tee options, it's going to be a little longer than we've ever had for Chapman (6,362) — which is bad for Team Orange as they possess two of the shortest hitters (Chandler & Darren). Of course, this also means that chipping around the green will play a big factor, which is bad for Team Blue.

Everything is now officially booked. Remember we check-in the afternoon of Thursday, October 7th. There's limited parking available so we need to carpool as much as possible. Start coordinating with people now.

2021 Rapture Course - Four Ball

The general area of Naples has about 90 golf courses, about five of which are public. A few are even "no calls... no solicitations... invite only" courses that don't have tee times and look amazing (if you can afford the membership and know the right people).

So I knew booking this years Rapture would be a struggle, but worth it if we land the right spots. The top course on my list was Talis Park, a private Club which I've played a couple of times (Gary and Darren have been there too). It's basically a flatter version of Bella Collina, but I think the course is much better (less tricked up).

It was also co-designed by Greg Norman and Pete Dye. I can't confirm this, but it feels like Norman did the front nine and Dye did the back nine. Completely different looks, and I recall thinking I just played two separate courses. It's odd, but not necessarily in a bad way.

I had to go through the father-in-law's real estate broker friend in order to get us a tee time. In typical private club fashion, we'll be playing Friday (Oct 8th) at 11am. $75+. I also have to pay for the entire group at once.

 

But don't worry — just like the IRS, I'm never done collecting. I still have yet to charge you the $50 for our Pay For Performance game (the $160 you paid me was just housing). So I'll collect that and Round 1 greens fees while we're down there.

 

One more course to go!

 

Par-3 13th hole.

2021 Rapture Draft Results

I woke up drunk thinking it was Sunday. Thanks to all who showed up last night.

 

Geoff's team is BLUE. Moosite's team is ORANGE.

 

1 - Melberg
2 - Chandler
3 - Dave
4 - Faz
5 - Reid
6 - Casey
7 - John
8 - Travis
9 - Ho

10 - Brendan
11 - Danny
12 - Gary
13 - Gorecki
14 - Darren

 

Round 1 - Talis Park - Four-Ball
1 - Faz / Travis vs. Dave / Brendan
2 - Melberg / Gorecki vs. Moostie / John
3 - Ho / Geoff vs. Casey / Darren
4 - Reid / Gary vs. Chandler / Danny

Round 2 - Vineyards (S) - Chapman (Alt-Shot)
1 - Ho / Gorecki vs. Danny / Darren

2 - Reid / Geoff vs. Moostie / Dave
3 - Gary / Faz vs. Chandler / Brendan
4 - Melberg / Travis vs. Casey / John

Round 3 - River Hall - Singles
1 - Gary vs. Darren
2 - Travis vs. Brendan
3 - Faz vs. Danny
4 - Gorecki vs. Chandler
5 - Geoff vs. John
6 - Ho vs. Casey
7 - Melberg vs. Dave
8 - Reid vs. Moostie

2021 Rapture Draft

We're holding the Rapture draft this Friday, August 20th, at Red Dog (aka: The Dog).

I'll be there around 8pm, maybe earlier depending on dinner. Attendance is by no means mandatory, or even important. In fact, you might find the draft anticlimactic and not worth negotiating/begging for permission to go out to a bar on a Friday night.

Tall Mike won't even show up until about 10pm (estimated... Tall Mike Time is difficult to calculate). And depending on how the Captains want to Captain, they may not even listen to your suggestions during the pairings creation.

But if you want to hang out at our unofficial Clubhouse — which is now somewhat of a college bar after UT kids discovered it during the 2020 "lockdown" — then I'll see you Friday. Significant others welcome.

For the Captains:

I'll bring a couple of "draft sheets" to help you keep everything straight. The quicker we get through the process of drafting and then creating your pairings for each round, the better.

2022 - 2023 Board of Directors Vote Results

Thanks to everyone for voting in a timely manner. With all 23 Members voting, the results are:

Faz - 22

John - 22

Geoff - 22

JW - 17

Gorecki - 9

I'll get with the new board about meeting very soon. If anyone has pressing issues you'd like discussed and voted on, now is the time to say something. Either here, or to a Board member. Especially if you have any thoughts on the elimination of "gimmie" putts. Or how much you dislike Dan. Or any new logo ideas.

Charity Golf Scramble

There is a Charity Golf Scramble for Shriners on Thursday, September 30th at Buckhorn Springs Golf and CC.   It will have your typical charity goodies: Free polo and welcome bag, all the booze, maybe cigars and light breakfast, and usually a buffet dinner, and silent auction.  Pretty care free environment.  It starts at 12:30 but registration will be a few hours before that.  

Rease, Troy + 1, and I have a team already.  Anyone else want to join or create a team?  Feel Free to sign up directly or reach out to me.  Prices go up September 14th.  It is $500 for a foursome right now ($125 each).

site to register: Egypt Shrine Temple Doug Cox Memorial Golf Tournament

Their details:

Early Registration fee of $150 per person or $500 per foursome ends September 14, 2021, so don't delay. Registration anytime on September 14, 2020 through the day of event will be $175.00 per player or $650 per foursome.

The Egypt Temple Shine is proud to present the annual Illustrious Doug Cox Memorial Golf Tournament, to be held on Thursday September 30, 2021, at Buckhorn Springs Golf and Country Club. Join us for a day of great fun as we host a four-man scramble on one of Tampa's finest golf courses. 

Registration is per player, and includes the following:

All Green Fees
Range Balls
Golf Shirt and Welcome Gift Bag
Tee Gifts
Water / Soda / Beer
Post Play Dinner
Awards Ceremony

Each team will consist of 4 players, shotgun start at 12:30 pm.

We will also host a Silent Auction and Putting Contest at this event!

PROCEEDS ARE FOR THE BENEFIT OF EGYPT SHRINERS.

Golf Course Flyover Video Brandon FL | Buckhorn Springs

2021 Rapture Course - Singles

Got our first Rapture course reserved.

River Hall Country Club, located in Alva about an hour north of our AirBnBs (on our way back to Tampa). We'll be playing our final round — Singles — starting at 10:18am, for $59ish.

This is a Davis Love III design, built in 2007. I have never played one of his courses, and this looks to be a high-handicappers dream. Wide open off the tee, not long by any means, with large greens. You can watch a flyover of each hole here (pro tip: turn off your sound and set the speed to 2x):

However... that shitty drone footage doesn't do a good job with the elevation changes of greens and fairway ridges. For example, the par-3 16th green looks flat and surrounded by bunkers. From the ground it looks like this:

Clearly two distinct tiers and probably a 4-6 foot drop off the back into sand. It'll probably play a lot like the original Esplanade in Lakewood Ranch... but I'm just guessing. I'm not going to see this course before we get there.

More to come later!

2021 Rapture Draft

Draft will be held at Red Dog, on Friday August 20th. I'll be there around 8pm if anyone wants to hang out like we used to. Whenever Moostie finally makes it out, we'll hold the draft and the pairings reveals.

I've received housing payment from all 16 participants:

1 - Geoff (Captain)

2 - Moostie (Captain)

3 - Dave

4 - Brendan

5 - Melberg

6 - Gorecki

7 - Casey

8 - Chandler

9 - Ho

10 - Reid

11 - Darren

12 - John

13 - Gary

14 - Faz

15 - Danny

16 - Travis

------------

Alternates:

1 - Billy

2 - Topor

 

If anyone bails after being selected, we will attempt to replace them with the next alternate. If no alternates are available... or if we run out of alternates... then the Captain can try to convince one of the 5 Members who are OUT to attend. We will not fill spots with non-Members.

 

I'm starting to work on booking us courses, but remember that we play Friday, Saturday AND Sunday (October 8th, 9th and 10th). Get your PTO in now if you need to. I'd also recommend taking a half-day on Thursday the 7th to travel down to Naples.

 

Here are some Faz Stats from last season, which the Captains may find useful. Names in yellow are people who played in less than 5 events:

 

Updating the Losing Streak Leaderboard

 As the season has ended, it's a time to reflect upon our accomplishments and failures and learn where we can go from here. We should all congratulate Travis on a great first season and chide Billy for choking so terribly at the end. We have a new Katie and a new Geoff, apparently. As many of you know, however, it isn't this wins that interest this club member. Adhering strictly to Reese Bobby's drug addled piece of wisdom, "if you ain't first, you're last," and therefore everyone who didn't win the last event is now on a losing streak. Congrats to Gorecki on being the only current winner in the club.

Most of the club loses every tournament, but only a select few can do so prodigiously. Some years ago, Reid lost a hefty 36 tournaments in a row. More recently, Mike Ho lost a staggering 40 events in a row. None of these compare to the 5-year drought of yours truly, however, with a mind-numbing 72 losses in a row. I must live with my scarlet L until a poor soul finally takes the mantle from me. My one and only current hope is non other than fellow board member Chris Fazioli, currently in the midst of a 3+ year drought spanning 49 events played without a win.

If he somehow gets within 9 losses by the end of Summer '22, I'll buy champagne in anticipation of popping the bottles sometime in late Spring '23. So, once again, here's to anyone other than Faz winning tournaments until Summer '23.

Grid of Losers:

 

Board of Directors: 2022 - 2023

It's time to vote in our rotating Board of Directors seats for the next two years.

For the new people... or the old people who never pay attention... you can find a link to the current By-Laws at the top of the "Leadership" page of this blog. While the Chairman position remains unchanged (he's just a puppet anyway), we do require all other Board seats to go through an election process.

First thing we need is volunteers. Your obligation as a Board member would include (but not limited to):

• Attending a couple of in-person dinners/meetings per year
• Keeping track of items/issues you've heard from other Members for discussion
• Voting on Club policies & playing rules
• Contributing to the resolution of any spontaneous issues that arise, such as rain-outs
• This means you have to respond to texts in a timely manner, and should eliminate most of you from consideration
  
• Approving potential new Members (if space is available)

The Board is something we need so our Chairman can pass blame. It's not really glamorous. The other day I was asked by a 3+ year Member: "who's actually on the Board?"  [Chandler, Faz, John, Gary, JW]

People don't know, nor care, because our operation is pretty smooth. Off the top of my head, the biggest thing the next Board will vote on is the elimination of "gimmie" putts. Riveting stuff.

If you've played in at least 20 events (which is everyone except the four most recent Members), make a comment to be on the ballot.

 

--------------------------------------

In related "Board" news, I received a tip that Big John — Supreme Allied Commander of the Boozer's Golf Review — unilaterally fired the entire BGR Board of Directors. He subsequently filled the vacancies with Adam, Troy, and Billy.

If this report can be verified, it's potentially very exciting news as the replacements are much more knowledgeable about booze and hanging out than the previous Board. Perhaps the new iteration can stop this once celebrated group from "fading into bolivian." Potentially returning the BGR to its Glory Days (an actual bar) instead of being chained to a radiator in the house next to a glory hole to the outside world.

Story developing.

FBGC Masters - Summer 2021 Recap

We were unable to recreate the experience of Golf Utopia on Sunday, as scoring at ChampionsGate Country Club failed to break any records. It wasn't due to conditioning — the course was in great shape, especially for the summer. But the magic was gone, replaced by the general challenge and frustration of golf.

Perhaps it was slightly windier than in 2016. This definitely played a factor in the long par-3s, and turned all but the final par-5 into three-shot holes. But the distances of those holes hasn't changed, and we did a much better job navigating them five years ago.

It was scorching hot, and the 4:36 pace set by the non-golfers in front of our first group didn't help. However, the course was dry and we avoided the typical afternoon Orlando lightning storms, so I can't imagine heat alone contributed to a 9.2 average net stroke increase between events (adjusted for the new handicap system, which added about 2 strokes to everyone's score).

The fairways were cut noticeably narrower than in years past. It was laughable on some holes, with 15-yard wide strips of short grass. Only two of the four groups had a long drive winner, and Troy earned his by barely reaching the fairway. The rough was hardly a hindrance, however, and some players probably preferred the fluffier lies.

The last factor I can think of, was the seemingly infinite amount of identical rental homes and quadriplexs built along the course. While this didn't alter the vast width, it did visually make an impact. Some of the views on the front nine were comical. Holes were 100 yards wide, but the endless stucco boxes acted as golf ball magnets.

All those things combined, ChampionsGate Country Club is no longer the easiest most fun course we play. That title now belongs to the Commander Course at Lakewood National.

---------------------------------

Gorecki led the way with an unbelievable start to his round, shooting +4 (gross!) on his first eight holes. I believe he was -8 (net) at this point, before succumbing to the 150-yard carry off the 9th tee. Despite possessing six clubs in his bag that can easily clear the pond... he mentally imploded leading to an unnatural max 10.

 

His back nine was average, shooting even par (net) and coasting to his first win of the season. Casey and Faz faltered early on the back, eliminating any real chance of chasing down the leader on their own.

 

The thrill of victory didn't stop the complaints, as Gorecki lamented that he should have been allowed to play the 5,744 yard "Member" tees. Never mind the US Senior Women's Open was currently being contested on a course 300 yards longer, with an 82 year old woman shooting better than her age. Nope... Gorecki wanted the title, the Club Credit, and less yardage than someone born in 1939. This is why Mike doesn't have nice things. Like friends.

Billy — the only player in the field capable of winning the Cup — was twice near the lead. Both times he carded a 9, going with a "Warren Sapp" on the 16th and 17th holes to fall to DFL. If those three holes were bogeys, he'd tie for the victory. While that still wouldn't etch his name into history, it would have been pretty exciting down the stretch. Not only were those blow-ups costly to Billy's championship dreams, but his handicap actually took the round and dropped half a point after the ESC adjustment!

As expected, Travis won the Summer season, and becomes our 10th different Champion.

Great season everyone. It was a lot of fun, and we'll start up again in January 2022.

---------------------------------

 

I'll have a handful of updates this week, as we try to lock down the Rapture Draft... Rapture courses... new Board of Directors... and other off-season events. Stay tuned, and... you know... don't be afraid to use this blog to organize your own shit.