The Rapture experience this year ran the entire spectrum, much like its participants. A handful of people told me this was one of the best mixes of courses we've played — all well conditioned and excellent value. The only real complaint was the greens at Verandah being a little sandy/grainy, and even those were much better than anything we play in Tampa.
But while the venue selection was top-notch, the housing left a lot to be desired. Due to an "incident with a prior guest," the Blue House was moved much farther from the Gray House. The Gray House was already too far from civilization, and Lehigh Acres predictably has nothing going on.
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| Lots going on with the Blue Team. |
The physical location of the courses created a dilemma: super long drives to golf, or super long drives to activities. We split the baby and ended up with medium-long drives to both, which seemed to leave the social guys and the growing number of homebodies unsatisfied.
Not to mention that more driving just increases the chances of mishaps.
This is not to say the weekend wasn't fun. Any time we can get out of town is nice. Some of you haven't participated in a while, so it was great catching up. Beers with the boys always produce good laughs. The steaks at Conners were a surprising find — somewhere I'd go again. And discovering places and courses we would never see otherwise is part of the charm.
It sounds like John wanted us to stay at the Luminary in Ft. Myers (or some equivalent), which would have increased the total cost of the trip from $449 to $1,002 per person. If that's the direction people want to go, make a comment. Or perhaps next time John earns $100k in a single month he can subsidize the extra cost for us, instead of purchasing randos food that contributes to their kids' diabetes.
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| The Gray Team has their A1C under control. |
But now we must discuss the other elephant in the room:
The Gray team was cheated.
Not so much by the Blue Team — although slow play on Sunday (which is cheating) contributed — but by God.
We were initially very lucky, with what could have been a complete weekend washout turning into great weather Friday, and violent storms that barely missed us on Saturday. But we only completed 14+ holes of golf before the monsoon hit Sunday.
At that time, Blue was projected to win 7-5 with:
- Faz and Moostie tied, three holes to play, no strokes given
- Melberg down 2 to Gary, four holes to play, Gary only stroking on 18
- Buchert down 2 to John, three holes to play, no strokes given
John — the unanimous MVP on and off the course — was not going to lose to Buchert. But Faz and Melberg (Gray's top two picks!) could have easily flipped their matches for an outright win or an overall tie — resulting in Sudden Death between Moostie and Chandler.
However, the course made the decision to officially close.
There was obviously a ton of discussion between all parties at lunch... and then even more in the car rides home. I came up with multiple fair and defensible solutions that actually produced a Gray Team victory! And, of course, we had plenty of ideas from those more concerned with their individual records than the team result.
But it's silly to pretend golf holes weren't completed Sunday. We can't erase history like the NCAA does when they "vacate wins" from a program. Baseball games are official after 5 innings. The NFL makes games resume on a different date.
Are we going to get Faz, Moostie, Gary, and Melberg back down to Webbs Reserve to finish the match? Are we going to to stay an extra night in Ft. Myers to finish Monday?
No, we aren't. We need a unique solution that fits our constraints and resources.
It seems the precedent we should set is this: After nine holes are played, a match is official. The match can only be stopped before completion if the course kicks us off. Remaining holes are recorded as a push.
Matches that don't make it nine holes are recorded as ties. If the entire Rapture ends in a shortened tie (or if the course won't let us have the tie-breaker), then the Captains can figure out another weekend to go settle things at an agreed upon location.
And thus the 7-5 Blue Team victory holds up. A very unsatisfying end to our league's Super Bowl.
What sucks is many of those unfinished matches could have been completed, or at least have had a different result at the time of stoppage.
But Group 2 was 3+ full holes behind Group 1. Had they kept up pace, they would have hit rain on 17 green, leaving only one hole which might not have mattered.
Group 3 would have been on 17 tee or fairway, with only Gary/Melberg still in the mix.
And it's not like Group 1 was flying through the course. They waited on every hole, playing behind an elderly foursome that included someone's grandmother. Five of the holes in the Brendan/Geoff match were won or pushed with double bogey or worse!
"Ah, but Dear Leader! Dave and Chandler were also in that group! Arguably the best and sexiest golfers in the Club! They took many fewer strokes so the overall group was much faster."
False. Through 15 holes, gross strokes recorded:
- Group 1 - 297
- Group 2 - 291
The fact is, Group 1 played collectively worse on Sunday than Group 2.
The only way Group 2 could have been 3+ holes behind Group 1 is if they were fucking around, not ready to hit when it was their turn, hunting for balls longer than 3 minutes, displaying poor cart etiquette, taking a million practice swings, rolling around on the ground, and reading putts at the speed of a mongoloid child.
Which is strange, because I've never associated those things with anyone in Group 2. Except maybe John. So I'm forced to believe he slowed everyone else down with his antics. As punishment, John is now stripped of his MVP title. Hopefully this will be a lesson and he'll play faster in 2027.
The Rapture Committee is pleased to award Gary and Brendan — two of the final three "selections" — co-MVPs of the 2026 Rapture!
Brendan won his 2nd ever Rapture Singles match (increasing his record to 2-11-0), was the highest points earner for Team Gray (tied with Troy), and made some excellent breakfast sandwiches for his house. Future Captains should feel damn lucky if he's ever placed on their roster!
Gary was in great form all weekend, and the only non-slow player to go undefeated (2-0-1)! His excellent play didn't come out of nowhere. He was given some great swing tips from Ho in the weeks leading up to the event.
Unfortunately, Ho earns this year's LVP award for going winless (0-2-1) for the 3rd time in his past four Rapture appearances, while suffering the worst loss of the entire event: a 4&3 beat down by Troy. Meow-ch.
Congrats to the Blue Team! Tall Mike is now the first ever back-to-back winning Rapture Captain. Chandler becomes the 2nd ever back-to-back losing Rapture Captain (Tall Mike did it in 2020-2021). And I'm really hoping two different people step up and become Captains next year!
Play better, fools. Enjoy your off-season.
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| Blue Team. Now with more Moses. |
