Spring 2019 - Week 1 Preview

We're headed up to Hernando Oaks on Sunday, 9am tee time. The rate is one of the best we'll see all season, so hopefully the course is in good shape (GolfAdvisor says it is).

We've played there twice, and the median net score is +5, so I expect some pitchers to be bought. Faz won in 2016 at -3, while Katie stomped the field in 2017 at -6.

Everyone is on the WHITE tees unless I'm told otherwise. You can view a fairly accurate scorecard here.

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But now is the time that everyone has been waiting for dreading. I'm going to open up Excel and randomize the pairings (we do this the first two weeks). I know many of you are into conspiracy theories... but these are always truly random. I just make a lot of threats to keep you on your toes:

Darren
Gorecki
Ben

Danny
Faz
Ho
Katie

Gary
Adam
Reid
Robbie

JW
Geoff
Tall Mike
Dave

John
Casey
Buchert
Chandler


See you on Sunday!

Club Re-Branding, An Update

It's been a couple of weeks since we've received new suggestions for our Club's name. All submissions were anonymous, so hopefully most of these were sent in by the random bots that frequent our page and inflate our interaction statistics.

Keep in mind that when a change is made, we'll probably need to use "Golf Club" or "Golfer's Club" at the end of it.

Here are the suggestions, grouped by various levels of terrible:

Comments, not actual suggestions:

This post should have comments - Maybe. But by not turning them on I forced you to use the submission form instead of putting your drivel directly in the comment section.

DPT acronyms, which was not the assignment:

Dedicated Player's Tour

Devoted Player's Tour

Duffing Pitches Tour


Inappropriate names which are not a step in the right direction:

The Swingers Club

Putt Stuff

Hole in Juan

WTF names:

Havercamp Mini Tour - From what I can tell, this is an obscure reference to Mr. and Mrs. Havercamp in Caddyshack. They're the two old people who play an extremely slow round, unable to advance the ball more than a few feet (while also not being able to see it).

Blockchain Golf Club - I mean... a lot of you have probably been blocked-in by a chain link fence before...

Fairway to Heaven

Drives, Divots and Duffs


Actual suggestions, perhaps:

Three Putt Golf Club - A reference to an LLC and naming rights owned by some of our group. Someone also submitted "3 Putt Zone," so we'll just assume those are the same suggestion.

Gulf Golf - A name that sounds like someone talking with balls in their mouth.

Grassy Key Golf Club - Seems to be a reference to the original two islands (Big Grassy Key and Little Grassy Key) that were eventually "filled in" to create what is now Davis Islands.

Fort Brooke Golfer's Club - Fort Brooke was the original military outpost that became downtown Tampa. Used as a hub to kill a lot of Indians, when that was still an American pastime.

Old Testament Golf Club - Shout out to The Moses

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The suggestion link is still open if anyone thinks of other ideas in the near future.

Spring 2019 - Week 1

We have 5 tee times booked at Hernando Oaks on Sunday, January 6th. They were able to shove us between two member's leagues... so it'll be busy out there... but we're teeing off at 9am.

Cost will be $26 plus tax.

Ben, Casey and Dave all owe league dues ($130)... so hopefully they show up with some cash or they'll be DQ'd after the tournament. Rules is rules.

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Stay on top of your RSVP schedule. At our size we need to be booking these things further out. You can look at the schedule and see where we are tentatively attempting to play.

See you in just over a week.

Three Weeks Until Golf Season

Only one more handicap revision until we start back up on January 6th. I'll start calling places next week, but I'm shooting for Hernando Oaks, whenever they can get us out after member tee times (probably around 11am).

We have 4 people who owe league dues (Ben, Casey, Dave, Katie).

But we have 8 people who haven't filled out the registration form. So get on it. If you're not a "Yes", you will not have a guaranteed spot!

Golf in Orlando 12/15 and 12/16

Hey guys,

I'll be in Orlando on the 15th and 16th for a wedding and I'll be golfing in the morning both days.
Let me know if anybody wants to join!

Scramble Pairings

Due to the storm hitting at 9am... we're cancelling the event. Enjoy your newfound free Sunday!

Scramble Outing - Sunday, December 9th

THIS Sunday... Crescent Oaks... 9am start.

Buy in is $20 per person. Winning team will get $120 each, and 2nd place gets $40 each.

Format is a "roaming scramble," same thing we did last year at Scepter. You start in the middle tees, if your team makes a NET birdie or better, you move back ONE tee box. If you make a NET bogey or worse, move forward one tee box. There are only three tee boxes in play for each gender.

Men:
Black
Blue - start here (128 slope)
White

Katie:
White
Red - start here (121 slope, -1 for rating difference)
Orange

The calculation will be based off the starting tees, with the LOWEST handicapped golfer (A) getting a 35% allowance, and the HIGHER handicapped golfer (B) getting 15% allowance (per USGA recommendation).

To make this easy on everyone, below is a list of everyone's FULL, A and B handicaps.

Dave - 10 / 3.5 / NA
Faz - 11 / 3.85 / 1.65
Chandler - 12 / 4.2 / 1.8
Gary - 13 / 4.55 / 1.95
Robbie - 13 / 4.55 / 1.95
Buchert - 13 / 4.55 / 1.95
MikeHo - 14 / 4.9 / 2.1
Reid - 15 / 5.25 / 2.25
John - 16 / 5.6 / 2.4
Darren - 17 / 5.95 / 2.55
Tall Mike - 18 / 6.3 / 2.7
Adam - 21 / 7.35 / 3.15
Kaite - 21 / 7.35 / 3.15
Ben - 23 / 8.05 / 3.45
Geoff - 25 / 8.75 / 3.75
Gorecki - 31 / NA / 4.65


When you get your partner, figure out who's A, who's B, add the scores and then round. So if Robbie is pared with Darren... Robbie is A (4.55), Darren is B (2.55)... 4.55 + 2.55 = 7.1 rounded to 7. They get one stroke on the 7 hardest rated holes.

See you on Friday, 7pm at Red Dog. Wear your letter jacket if you have one. Also... keep watching the forecast. Sunday is currently like 70% chance of thunderstorms all day.

DPT Golf Club - Rebranding Initiative

I've felt for awhile we were long overdue to re-brand / re-name the Club, but I've been working on too many other things related to keeping us running smoothly to really push for a change. Not that "Dudes Playing Together," "Double Pitcher Tour," "Dues Paid un-Timely," etc etc hasn't served us well. Truth is, we only exist because of the poorly-aged joke that started in a 2009 kickball blog.

Almost a decade later, it's just a footnote of how we formed, and no longer relatable to new members or the outside world. We need something more generic, that Tall Mike can drunkenly discuss with every random old man he meets at the bar.

The DPT Cup isn't going anywhere. Old obscure trophies shrouded in mystery are always going to be in-style.

But for the foreseeable future, you can use this link to submit Club name suggestions. It'll also be located on the right side of the blog under the Club Dues accounting sheet. It's completely anonymous, and you can submit as many suggestions as you'd like (one at a time).

Eventually I'll check out the list... remove all the bullshit (veto power!)... and we can do a league-wide vote to see if anything stands out as decent and widely accepted.

Spring 2019 Registration

Registration for the new season, which starts January 6th, is now open. Use the link on the right side of the blog and fill out the form.

It might take some time for it to show up on the registration grid the first time you fill it out. Be sure to keep your RSVPs up to date. Anyone who is a "maybe" is counted as OUT the when I book courses.

If your name is in RED in the registration grid, it's because you are not up-to-date with league dues ($130), and aren't currently eligible for competition.

Spring 2019 - New Member Results

16 of 19 members participated in the New Member vote. All 16 voted to confirm Adam as our 20th member. Congrats!

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I'm digging deep into courses who might be able to host our December 9th scramble. Hernando Oaks can't get us until 11am, due to member reserved times. That's gonna make us lose Buchert, so I'm going to keep looking. More details to come soon, I hope.

*Update* - 9am booked at Crescent Oaks. A course that beats us up, so hopefully a scramble format will make it more fun (Gary's team is playing alt-shot). Rate should be $35-ish. Tees and handicaps will be posted before the Red Dog draft on Friday, December 7th.

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6 more weeks until the season starts!

Club Outing

How many people would be around and interested in a Club event on Sunday, December 9th?

Confirmed:
1 - Chandler
2 - Faz
3 - Tall Mike
4 - Reid
5 - MikeHo
6 - Adam
7 - John
8 - Darren
9 - Geoff
10 - Gary
11 - Ben
12 - Robbie
13 - Buchert (maybe... needs 9am tee time)
14 - Dave
15 - Gorecki
16 - Katie

Roster is set. I'll book a course soon. We'll meet up at Red Dog after 7pm on Saturday, December 8th Friday, December 7th to randomly pick teams. Be there if you want to witness the selection process. More details to come.

2018 Annual Board Meeting - Recap

At the end of each year, the Board meets to vote on Club rules and regulations. Here's a recap of last night's votes, as well as changes that immediately go into effect. For the most part, I don't expect to revisit these items every year, but each change is worth monitoring, and feedback throughout the season is appreciated.

New Members

• Adam was unanimously approved by the board for a new member vote. Sometime this week you'll receive an email asking you to submit a ballot for or against. Assuming 75% of the responses are "yes," he'll be our 20th active member.

Rule Changes (Requires 4/5 Board approval)

• The max for any hole is now +5, replacing the Double Par maximum we've used since inception. This means on a par-3 you can now make an 8, and on par-4s you can make 9s. Four Board members voted for this change, with JW the only dissenting vote as he pushed for a 7-8-9, 7-9-10, or 7-9-11 structure.
• The Board unanimously voted to overhaul the Skins Game. It's now a $20 entry fee, with $1 going to the Club and $1 going to the Hole-In-One jackpot. The remaining $18 will be used for skins within your group, with pairings based on handicaps. Holes will now roll-over, with any remaining Skins paid out to whoever won the first Skin of the day within that group.
• The Board unanimously approved mandatory pre-payment of all event fees before the start of a season. With the increased Skins Game fee, each season is currently $130 (four $20 events and five $10 events). In order to be eligible to play in ANY event, you must pay the Commissioner for the entire season. If/when you miss tournaments, your account will be credited for next season, or the fees refunded if you retire your membership. Detailed accounting of all dues and balances will be set up on the Club's blog/website.
• All Board members voted to create a Local Rule (#16), allowing any advice to be given or asked during all rounds, from any entity, as long as it's off the green. This officially allows anyone within a group to give yardages, lines of play, hazard locations, strokes/scores etc. All things we've been doing for years. However, we're still operating under the USGA Rule which prohibits the reading of putts by anyone other than your caddie or partner. 
• It needs to be clarified that in Singles Match-Play (during Rapture), your "teammate" is not the same thing as your "partner." You are a "single" and can not have your fellow Blue/Red teammate help read your putt. You can have them help read putts during Fourball and Foursomes.
• The Board failed to pass any changes to the Hangover Invitational. A measure to award 50 bonus points for attendance failed with only 3 votes, Faz and Gary dissenting. For now, that event remains the same. Show up if you want to hang out.

By-Law Changes (Requires 100% Board approval)

• The Board voted to change Article III, Section 8, regarding minimum participation to keep active membership (effective immediately). Instead of 6 events per calendar year, it's now 6 events in a two-season period. This equates to 33.33% (repeating, of course) attendance. A 3/5ths Board vote will be used to grant any reprieves as needed (medical, babies, etc).

Football Season is Over

As mentioned many times before, the winter off-season is the most important part of the league. It's a time for reflection, Champions Dinners, family vacations, swing changes, money burning league management applications, and football. Thus, October is historically the low-point of league activity, having just completed the Rapture and a grueling 18-week back-to-back season schedule.

Since we last officially teed it up... Tiger Woods won an official limited field event, American golf proved once again we suck as a team, and the 2019 PGA Tour season is already 4 freaking weeks into their schedule.

Some of you have mentioned you're already stoked for our next season. Geoff has put up some great scores lately. Danny is hoping to double his attendance in 2019. Defending champion Faz is actually playing better right now than he was last season. Big John is down like 30+ pounds and threatening to hit driver on a regular basis. And I know a few of you are excited about the impending tug-of-war between your social golf life and newborn baby duties. A truly great time to be alive.

Our Board is meeting in the next few weeks to vote on rule changes. Adam, who saved Geoff and Brendan at the Rapture this year, is the only eligible prospective new member under consideration. A couple of former members have been retired due to inactivity, but will never be forgotten.

Who would be down for another randomly drawn two-man scramble, same format that we played last year at Scepter? I'm thinking Sunday, November 18th. It might require a trip to the bar on the 17th. Either that or the disaster that is true alternate shot... random teams... handicapped... you might be paired with someone who will guarantee you can't win.

But the weather is nice, and your football team is already eliminated from any form of championship. Let's go!

Golf on Sunday (10/14)

The hurricane is going to create some nice weather for us this weekend. Talking about heading down to University Park Country Club, which is a little further south than the Bradenton courses we play. I went there over the summer and it was a really nice facility.

Rate is going to be $59-ish.

I believe I have myself, Gary, Darren and Reid. Anybody else want to check it out? I'll book an extra group if I can get 4 definite RSVPs. Let me know in the comments.

If I don't hear anything, I'm only going to book one tee time.

2019 Valspar Championship

Tickets are now on sale for the 2019 Valspar Championship. Last year was really exciting, with lots of top ranked golfers, and Tiger Woods almost winning his first tournament in years.

Next year will be a field full of chumps, as the new PGA schedule completely destroyed any chance of big names showing up. But whatever... at least the Hooter's tent is fun and it won't be crowded.

Of course... the event organizers aren't going to admit this until it happens, and they'll still charge "Tiger Woods" prices. The Hooters Nest is on "sale" right now for $79... which is $4 more than last year assuming there are no additional TicketMaster fees.

Oh... and it no longer includes parking, which has to be purchased separately.

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I'll probably still go on Thursday to the Hooter's Nest. But I'm not excited about it.

Tickets are located here, and prices allegedly go up in November:

http://valsparchampionship.com/tickets/tickets-packages/

2019 Spring & Summer Schedule

Below are the schedules for 2019. I'd recommend putting ALL of these dates on your calendar, including the make-up weeks.

I say this every year, but due to the size of our group we're going to have to set these in stone. If we get rained-out, the event gets placed in the next available make-up week. No exceptions next year.

Due to some league conflicts (over half of us are going to Pinehurst in July), we'll need to start early in order to finish up before football season. I've given us plenty of make-ups/breaks so we're aren't playing nonstop, to help those of you with needy WAGs.

Next I'll start planning a few off-season events. Two-man scramble. Maybe Congo River Match Play tournament? Hopefully a Streamsong Black outing. Stay tuned.

Winter Park Golf Course

Had a chance to play Winter Park Golf Course yesterday. Built in 1914, it went through a nationally acclaimed renovation in September of 2016. The city, which owns the course, hired two relatively unknown architects to complete the work, and the result does live up to the hype.

Gone are hundreds of trees that crowded the fairways. There's basically no rough, as fairway grass covers the entire property. All the greens were expanded and re-shaped to include interesting contours. And what bunkers they kept were re-dug and look spectacular.

As a par 35 and playing under 2,500 yards from the tips, it's not very difficult to score out there. A few of the par 4s are definitely driveable, but there's enough OB and deep bunkering to make you think twice about it. All three par 3s are excellent, and play from a good variety of distances (120, 140, 180-ish).

It cost us $17 to play a round (9-holes) and rent a pull cart. A second loop would have been an extra $10 but we didn't have time.

This course shows exactly what ANY struggling facility should do. Especially old layouts like Temple Terrace, and any city course like The Babe. Winter Park GC actually made a profit last year for the first time in decades.

Sadly, with all the construction and traffic in Orlando, the course is probably too far away for me to recommend driving out there. But if you're ever over there for something else, set aside a couple hours to walk 9 holes.

Golf - Sunday, September 16th

9:30am - Southern Hills

Apparently they are not cart path only.

Couple of guys said they wanted to play this Sunday. Gonna book something around 9:30am. Southern Hills was just punched and has been cartpath only for weeks... so if not there... Southern Dunes or Waterlefe.

Currently in are myself, Gary, Geoff and Reid. If enough people want in I'll book another foursome. Let me know ASAP. NO SPOTS REMAINING

Roster
Chandler
Gary
Geoff
Reid
Darren
Dave
Adam
John

Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 9 - Lakewood National

As we begin the long off-season for DPT, the BGR still rages on with some backlogged reviews for public consumption to keep the league blog active. We've got some Daytona work to do as well as some recaps from the Rapture courses. First, though, we'll review the site of the final DPT tournament of the year, the DPT Masters at Lakewood National. This is a tough one for me as it's going to take some extra effort to detach my review from the horrific display of "golf" that we put up that day, but these Herculean tasks are what the Boozers of the world deserve.

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning

Tee times that morning weren't particularly early, but Manatee County does allow for the sale of booze. Beers in the pro shop were $5 each and were of the aluminum bottle variety, which you can feel free to note if you'd like to stealthily bring beers on the course and pretend you purchased them on site. If you want a nice screwdriver or bloody Mary to start your day, you'd better bring your own OJ/mix and vodka, though, as no liquor was available in there and there wasn't anywhere else to buy any on site. 

On-course service

In previous visits, cart girl service had been non-existent due to "car issues," but on this visit the cart girl was able to make it to the course for work, thankfully. It was a very typical cart offering with basic mini bottles of liquor and standard domestics with smatterings of higher end beer. Nothing of note in this, but the availability of the service gives a boost to the rankings for those Boozers who may have not had a chance to properly prepare for the outing.

Thrifty boozing

Despite our league commissioner verbally expressing his pessimism of papoose probability, league hero Brendan was able to walk up to the range with his fanny pack and strap it on with no protestations from anyone employed by the course. Brendan then braved an ornery starter and filled the papoose with booze and ice to the delight of the fourth group. Twisted Teas, Budweisers, and vodka drinks were readily available for the rest of the day. There is no better prepared boozer in the league than Brendan, and those in his group on any given Sunday should feel honored.

Clubhouse

The adjacent building, still under construction, will presumably have a great clubhouse area in which you can have any sort of liquor drink you can imagine. It will also be the base for tennis and have a pretty nice pool area, too. That said, by the time that opens the course will probably go private and won't allow us to play on it anymore. In the interim the course has contracted with Truman's, a bar down the road, to offer a complimentary beer to those who come in with a scorecard from the course. 

Overall

This is not a recommended course for boozing. The beer is on the higher end of the price spectrum, and while there was a cart girl, service was just ok. The complete lack of clubhouse (for now at least) is pretty damning as one of the best parts of league boozing comes from clubhouse pitcher purchases and hearing Ho talk loudly about his round even though no one really cares. If it weren't for the papoose, it would have been a miserable day all around. Two sad beers from Truman's, and Double Points as I put up so many double pars on the day which I'll blame on the poor course booze management.

2018 Rapture Recap & Off-season

First time captain Casey drafted a winning combination, as Blue pounded the Pink over the weekend in a 9-7 victory. It was close and very competitive, and the courses were awesome. While oppressive at times, the heat was much better than the typical rain delays we see in August. Let's quickly recap with 100% accurate commentary:

Day 1
It was "blowout day" in the Four-Ball format. The four losing teams only won two holes per match on average. The Reid/Casey loss was probably most surprising, as JW and Geoff really played well together, leaving their opponents stunned after the round. With Blue's only point, Faz/Brendan dominated the course, making multiple gross-birdies and winning with the largest margin (6&5). Brendan would have shot -8 net on the day... so maybe he's primed for a DPT Cup run in Spring 2019.

It sounds like everyone loved El Campeon. A fair layout with great elevation changes and visually pleasing old-Florida golf holes. I wish it wasn't so far away.

Pink.

Day 2
Blue gets revenge winning 3 of the 4 points, mostly due to late round Pink collapses:

- Adam/Geoff blew a Dormie-3 lead to tie Ho/Brendan.
- Chandler/Danny blue a 2-up with 3 to play lead to tie Darren/Gorecki.
- Moostie/JW had a 2-up lead through 13 before losing the next 4 holes and ultimately losing the match.
- Dave/Katie decided to do the losing early and often, digging a 4-down hole and never climbing out of it.

The Rapture was tied 4-4 after Day 2.

Reviews of Las Colinas was that it's a decent course, with some really inconsistent holes. Clearly it was completely re-designed, mixing new holes with old ones, sprawled out to maximize housing. Not something worth driving across the state for... but a nice course nonetheless.

Blue.

Day 3
Winner take all, and basically every match was tight.

- Darren won 4 of the final 7 holes to tie Adam, who had the lead for most of the match. I found out today that Gorecki entered wrong scores for this match, but Darren got the historical record squared away.
- Dave struggled with OMG for the first 1/3rd of the match, finally wearing him out and winning on the 17th hole... which took 30+ minutes for them to complete.
- Reid finally took some deep breaths and calmed down on the back nine, playing some outstanding golf to beat Katie on the 17th hole.
- Chandler three-putted the 18th hole to make double bogey and tie Faz, who nearly spontaneously combusted on the 17th hole in anger. Not quite JW at the New Course... but pretty close.
- The new Zen-JW had a very enjoyable day, beating wallet-less Brendan on 17.
- Gary destroyed Tall Mike 5&4, allegedly because Tall Mike's putting was terrible. Gary remembers nothing of this match, nor JW's victory.
- Geoff fell apart on the 18th, chunking back-to-back approach shots to lose his match with Ho. However, Geoff shot a career low 88... and Ho, realizing this round wasn't going to count for his handicap, let go of his sandbags to shoot in the high 70s.
- Danny actually held his own for awhile against Casey, taking his match to the 16th hole before finally surrendering.

Blue Wins.

My take on Bella Collina remains the same: the course is mostly good (way better than what we have in Tampa), but the facilities outshine it. I'm glad you all got to see it.

Clermont
The houses were decent... definitely the way to go on these trips. Pretty sure everyone had fun sitting around, gambling, and talking shit. We got a solid group of guys, and one fun female, so hopefully everyone thinks we're getting a good value.

I say this every year... but in 2019 we're finally going to have a couple of people fail to qualify. Be sure to play as much as possible in the next 12 league events to give yourself the best chance. I've got a few ideas for next year's location, but my goal is to always keep it under $300 ($180 was the cheapest and $331 was the most expensive) for golf and lodging.

Pink Stinks.

Picks Results (1pt per Correct Pick; Max of 16)
Chandler - 9
Geoff - 7
Tall Mike - 7
JW - 6
Casey - 5

Board Meeting Items
I've added a couple of things to the Winter Board Meeting docket, where we actually vote on changing league rules:

- Gorecki is now basically making "grass angels" on the green to read putts... whispering to the blades of grass "Is this putt good?".... to which the grass (probably) replies: "If you wait, they will give it." He's also damaging the greens with his Ichabod Crane knees. Expect this to be outlawed by a local Club rule ASAP.

- Despite us agreeing in the pool on Saturday evening that "coaching" was allowed, Reid was really miffed at me telling Katie she was stroking on a hole... all while the entire rest of the league was reading putts and helping with strategy. I guess we now need to officially rule on what can and can't be said to someone during stroke and match play. Comment your opinion if you want your voice to be heard on the subject.

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We now enter the most important phase of our Club... the off-season. For any Club to be successful, you need breaks to remind your family of your existence. Augusta National is closed for over 4 months in the summer. We have so much in common with them!

We'll do a couple of exhibition matches. Perhaps the 2-man moving tees event, with the letter jacket bar night. Maybe a 3-club or 6-club challenge again. If you have any suggestions, let me know.

After the Winter Meeting, I'll update everyone on any changes to the 2019 rules.

Great year everyone... and even better Rapture!

2018 Rapture Payouts

One last administrative item that we need to take care of...

Last year was the first time we bet money on the event, in a "pay for performance" model. I believe everyone thought it worked well... so assuming we want money involved again we'll need to collect $50 from everyone. Payouts would be as follows:

Entry Fee - $50
Each Point Earned - $20
Winning the Rapture - $60

And now I'll just re-post last year's explanation:

The payout for each point earned will be split between ALL parties involved. So it's $10 to each winning teammate of a match in the first two rounds, and the full $20 to anyone who wins their Singles match. Ties are also split evenly. Let's look at a few examples:

Winning every match AND winning The Rapture: $10 + $10 + $20 + $60 = $100. Buchert did this in 2016, Geoff did this in 2014. Basically you double-up your initial investment.

Losing every match and somehow, still winning The Rapture: $0 + $0 + $0 + $60 = $60. You take home $10 profit for being drafted on a winning team. Even though you're worthless.

Winning every match but LOSING The Rapture: $10 + $10 + $20 + $0 = $40. Congrats... you're the man. Too bad your teammates suck. You go home down $10 net. This sad scenario happened to Dan in 2014.

Darren in 2016: He halved the first match (with John as his partner). Then lost round 2, lost his Singles match, and didn't get his name on The Moses. $5 + $0 + $0 + $0 = $5.  Loses $45 on the weekend, but at least earned some money back for helping win that first point.

Bottom line, if you're on the winning team, you'll earn between $10 - $50. If you're on the losing team, you're going to lose between $10 - $50. The exact number depends on how much YOU contribute.


Let me know if we should do this again. We'll need to make a decision Thursday night.

2018 Rapture Picks

Expert analysis.

Day 1 - Four-Ball

Dave/Danny over Gary/Gorecki 3&2 - Dave is back from a long hiatus, traveling the world and seeing unspeakable things. With new confidence that the USA is the greatest country in the world, he will build a wall around himself and Danny and pretend to not see any of Gary's wayward drives. Lost balls on the hardest course in league history (Slope Rating-wise) will wreak havoc on Gary and his older partner. Danny's 22 strokes (at 80%!) gives him two net eagles on the day.

Faz/Brendan over Chandler/Katie 1up - Chef Brendan has cooked up something palatable for the Blue Team... "Everything Bagel Egg Sandbags!" Twelve strokes to Katie's six seems sexist. Pink's only chance is that the course plays so tight, Brendan has an epiphany about width and tree trimming.

Tall Mike/Adam over Ho/Darren 5&4 - Darren loves strokes. He's always begging for more. But Wildcard Adam gets them this match. His scores haven't really been impressive during league play (101 at Carrollwood?!?)... but he's capable of a handful of pars and maybe a birdie here and there. It'll be the first beatdown of the weekend as Ho can't play 50 yard queefy fades on El Campeon.

Reid/Casey over JW/Geoff 4&2 - Dub has finished DFL in his last two events. Reid and Casey are coming in hot. Unless JW and Geoff alternate their blowup holes, this will get ugly.


Day 2 - Chapman

Adam/Geoff over Ho/Brendan 1up - Bad avocados give Ho & Brendan a tummy ache.

Chandler/Danny over Darren/Gorecki 2up - Much closer match than it should be, as OMG fluffs up all of Darren's balls in the rough when Chandler isn't looking. The match comes down to a three foot putt on the 17th hole. OMG asks "Is this putt good?" It isn't.

Gary/Reid over Tall Mike/JW 2&1 - The old men still have something left in the tank. Despite giving a ton of strokes, they're able to get the job done when Reid chips in for par on 17, and then acts like he does it all the time. Which is actually true.

Dave/Katie over Faz/Casey 3&1 - Dave and Katie, on paper, are a perfect alt-shot team. They're both long off the tees (relatively) and Dave can get the approach shots close. Assuming Katie isn't depressed about boys, Pink should win here.


Day 3 - Singles

Adam over Darren 1up - Darren is 0-3-1 in Rapture Singles. No reason to think things will be different at Bella Collina.

Dave over Gorecki 10&8 - GTFO OMG

Katie over Reid 3&1 - Katie beat Reid so badly last year, authorities are still trying to figure out if it qualifies as a hate crime.

Faz over Chandler 1up - Faz is playing better. Chandler is always the most overrated pick in the Rapture.

JW over Brendan 1up - Dub finally puts a good round together and falls back in love with golf. Brendan doesn't play the width of BC correctly, constantly giving himself bad angles to the green.

Gary over Tall Mike 3&1 - Gary has seen Bella a handful of times, so he's comfortable. Mike's back acts up and he rushes off the course and jumps in the Roman spa in the men's locker room. Seriously... it's really awesome.

Ho over Geoff 2up - Wide enough to slice off the tee. Ho scores his 2nd ever Rapture point.

Casey over Danny 9&8 - Too little too late for the first time captain.


Pink wins The Rapture 9 to 7.

Rapture Housing Information

Once again, here are the addresses for the houses. The mythical creature who haunts every golf buddies trip, OMG*, has requested links to the AirBnB pages so he can scout out the perfect location in each room for hiding. Urban Legend has it that OMG creeps around the house at night, hovering over each player while they sleep and whispering ever so softly: "Is this putt good?" He does this until he gets what he believes is 18 affirmative responses or twitches. Then he returns to his hiding spot to fall asleep while mumbling to himself that he's athletic and good at things. If he's unable to secure 18 confirmations of "gimmie putts," OMG gets increasingly agitated and paces around the house shouting things like: "PACE OF PLAY!" and "MAX OF SEVEN!" Allegedly most golf buddies trips get too drunk to notice OMG at night, but it might be best to lock your bedroom doors this weekend.

House #1 -  15841 Robin Hill Loop, Clermont, FL 34714
Casey, JW, Moostie, Ho, Geoff, Brendan, Gorecki, Danny

House #2 - 3201 Ibis Hill St, Clermont, FL 34714
Katie, Chandler, Gary, Darren, Reid, Faz, Adam, Dave

One of the villas mentioned that street parking was not allowed. I guess we'll immediately find out upon arrival if this is an enforced neighborhood HOA rule, or just something we can ignore. I'd highly recommend carpooling if possible... considering that Darren, Katie, Geoff, Casey, JW and Reid are all planning on driving solo. I don't think the garages are available for parking (pool and foosball tables in each). If anyone gets towed, then that's just bad coordination on your part #carpoolbetter.

I'll be over there unlocking the houses and making sure everything is correct at 4pm on Thursday. An email with house rules, key codes, alarm codes, etc etc will be sent to everyone tonight.

Somebody remind Danny we have a trip this weekend.






*Old Man Gorecki

House #1 Weekend Breakfast Menu

Friday Morning: Sausage Breakfast Casserole

Saturday Morning: Fried Egg over Avocado Toast with a side of Crispy Bacon

Sunday Morning: Everything Bagel Egg Sandwich

All meals are served with an assortment of fresh fruit. Beverage selection of Bud Heavy or Mimosas.
This meal plan is intended for the guests of House #1 only. Guests may request slight alterations to their meals but must do so in writing by noon on Thursday. All breakfast items and other common groceries will be split evenly amongst the participating guests of House #1.

Consumer Advisory: Consuming raw or undercooked meats, poultry, seafood, shellfish, or eggs may increase your risk of food borne illness, especially if you have certain medical conditions. Menu items may contain or come in contact with wheat/gluten, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, and milk. Items on menu should be consumed at the risk of each individual guest and will hold the provider harmless from any legal or medical conditions that might arise.

DPT Masters - Summer 2018 Recap

We're officially done with the 2018 calendar year, and Casey shot an impressive 82 to capture his second career Major. Actually... just about everyone shot impressive rounds (more on this later). But Casey made a long downhill putt on the final hole, which was probably going to roll 10 feet past the cup, and somehow hopped in the air and dropped straight down for a birdie.

It ended Reid's day, who had a personal best 36 on the front nine but made too many bogeys on the back.

Gary was in contention and needed a win (possibly a T1)... but imploded on the 17th hole to lose any chance at the Cup. I imagine it was like watching his 2nd through 7th shots at the Rapture playoff last year.

Faz wins his 3rd DPT Cup, with two victories and two 2nd place finishes on the season.

Oh... and Darren is back... shooting his personal best 79 as a guest player. Really good stuff.

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A handful of us saw one of the worst attempted "gimmie" putts on the final hole, as Gorecki not only was willing to ask for and take a 4-footer to get SOLO 3rd... but Geoff and Casey were willing to give it to him because they didn't care about the standings anymore after respectively ejecting and winning. Thankfully, the gallery booed and yelled until Casey told Gorecki to putt the ball... which he then MISSED.

Here's a good way to think about our "no such thing as a gimmie" Rule 12. If you would make someone putt it out for a greenie... which is going to cost you $1... you probably shouldn't say "it's good." Also, if you have a 4 foot putt that you KNOW is not a gimmie, you should probably not be a terrible person and take it. Protect the field with personal accountability, or the board is going to have to vote on requiring EVERY putt be holed out.

Money and rapture points are on the line... so when someone actually gets left out of the 2019 Rapture (after we reduce the field to 12), I'm just going to say: "probably shouldn't have given the people ahead of you 4 foot putts."

Gary later admitted that he's given putts that he knows wouldn't be made 100 times out of 100. We have an epidemic on our hands. And I feel bad for those playing against me in the Rapture this week!

Speaking of... pairings and handicaps are listed below. I'll post some more info and we'll make some picks tomorrow. For now, get your blue and pink shirts together.

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Lakewood National is everything that most golf courses SHOULD be. It's wide, greens are large, and it's not overly penal. It's the 2nd easiest course (based on net scoring) we've played more than once (RIP Buffy Creek). A lot of the scoring was helped by the immaculate conditions, something we've seen at similar facilities like The Ritz and ChampionsGate CC.

While the majority of courses in our area don't have the land available to create wide fairways and large greens, they should do the best they can (ie: Temple Terrace tree removal!). If you aren't hosting a PGA event... why are you not making the game more enjoyable for us hackers? Did anyone walk of the course and feel cheated that our ten members made 10 birdies on the day? Or that 60% of us shot in the 80's and 50% threatened rounds in the 70's?

And yet... places like The Claw and Wentworth exist, and are desperate for members & daily play.

On a seemingly related note, I was asked by multiple people if I thought that Brendan & JW moving back hurt their scores. My answer is... "probably not.". At a course like Lakewood Natty, I'm not convinced moving back greatly contributed to their ejections. But it's always going to be harder to put the wheels back on the further back you play. And while Brendan might not agree... he had one birdie and one par (chipped in on 18!)... which should tell him to tee it forward. Like 3 teeboxes forward.

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More Rapture info to follow.

2018 Rapture - Schedule & Pairings

Handicaps are now locked for The Rapture. Strokes received are in parenthesis. Ride with your teammate the first two rounds, ride with your opponent in Singles. No double par max in any round. No scrambling. Be sure to dot your scorecards and use the leader board app so we can verify matches.

Round 1 - Fourball - El Campeon - Challenger (70.2/134) & Red (68.6/125) - 9:30am

Gary (3) / Gorecki (19) vs. Dave (0) / Danny (22)
Faz (1) / Brendan (12) vs. Chandler (0) / Katie (6)
Ho (0) / Darren (0) vs. Tall Mike (0) / Adam (4)
Reid (0) / Casey (1) vs. JW (9) / Geoff (9)

Round 2 - Chapman- Las Colinas - Challenger (69.8/127) & Red (68.8/121) - 9:30am

Ho & Brendan (0) vs. Adam & Geoff (3)
Darren & Gorecki (1) vs. Chandler & Danny (0)
Gary & Reid (0) vs. Tall Mike & JW (7)
Faz & Casey (2) vs. Dave & Katie (0)

Round 3 - Singles - Bella Collina - Club (69.7/123) & Bella (72.2/129) - 10:00am

Darren vs. Adam (3)
Gorecki (18) vs. Dave
Reid vs. Katie (9)
Faz (1) vs. Chandler
Brendan vs. JW
Gary vs. Tall Mike (4)
Ho vs. Geoff (7)
Casey vs. Danny (13)

Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 8 - Freedom Fairways

As written by Buchert:


Based on Chandler’s review going into the weekend, I had great expectations for Freedom Fairways.  However, rather than Great Expectations, I feel the title and opening line to another Charles Dickens’ novel fits Freedom Fairways more appropriately.  Specifically, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” from A Tale of Two Cities.


On the positive side, BYOB is definitely not an issue at Freedom Fairways.  Gorecki had an open cooler full of Reef Donkeys in the parking lot before the round.  Tall Mike was passing out beer from a growler.  Brendan had the Papoose locked and loaded. 

With all of this occurring in plain sight of the Starter, the only comment I heard from him was actually directed at the late arriving JW.  JW pulled into the parking lot and proceeded to get his bag out of his truck and walk it to our golf cart which was near the practice green.  While JW was putting his golf bag onto the golf cart, he was asked rather rudely by the Starter whether he had golf shoes.  JW was still in his flip flops because he had just arrived.  

Don’t worry about us openly loading a golf cart fanny pack full of beer right in front of you, sir, keep your sights on the important stuff like whether someone is going to play an executive course in flip flops.

This was followed by the lady in the pro shop yelling out a few minutes later that we needed to hurry up and tee off.  We assumed that there were groups behind us.  Nope.  We never saw a group behind us the entire round.

We blamed the erratic and unexplainable behavior on meth consumption and moved along to start our round.

The course itself was everything I expected and more.  Brendan did a fantastic job with the course design.  I was shocked at how many hazards he was able to bring into play on such a short course.  The trees could have used some trimming and the greens were, as Gary put it, like an old Arnold Palmer highlight reel.  However, neither of those issues are Brendan’s fault.

On to the official review:

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning

It’s tough to say whether they would “sell” us beer before 11 am on Sunday because the round came with a free beer.   I walked in, grabbed a beer, and walked out.  The lady in the pro shop didn’t say anything.  Combine that with the laissez-faire BYOB attitude and we were off to a good start.

Beer Cart

Nope.  No Cart Girl (or Cart Guy; #Equality).  There wasn’t even a place to reload on beers at the turn.  Freedom Fairways expects you to come fully prepared. 

Clubhouse

There is no clubhouse and the pro shop closed at noon so JW and Brendan weren’t even able to get their free beers.   Also, I wasn’t looking in the morning when I went into the pro shop, but I would assume there’s no Woodford Reserve served at Freedom Fairways.

Overall Score:

I give Freedom Fairways 2 beers out of 6 pack.  The on-premises boozing options are awful, but they lived up to their name by giving us the freedom to bring our own booze onto their "fairways."

2018 Rapture - Details

The Rapture officially kicks off in 9 days, so here are the details:

We'll be based out of Clermont, FL. We have two houses/villas each with allegedly 5 rooms and 7 beds. There isn't a lot of places to rent near the golf courses, so we'll have a 30 to 40 minute drive each morning to Mission Inn and Bella Collina.

Schedule is as follows:

Friday, August 17th - Mission Inn (El Campeon) - 9:30am Fourball - $45ish - Challenger Tees (Katie: Red)

Fourball is where you play your own ball and your team records the lowest net score between you and your partner. This is also sometimes called "Best Ball." Fun fact: Fourball is not a "scramble."

Saturday, August 18th - Mission Inn (Las Colinas) - 9:30am Chapman - $34ish - Challenger Tees (Katie: Red)

Chapman is a "modified alternate shot." It is also not a scramble. If you need to refresh your memory on how we've played this format for 4 straight years, click here. Unlike in 2016, we will DQ and halve the match anyone can't seem to get it right. It's not complicated. I believe in you people!

Sunday, August 19th - Bella Collina - 10:00am Singles - $96ish - Club Tees (Katie: Bella)

Singles is individual match-play. There is NO DOUBLE PAR MAX. Yes, we're playing all the way up. In the event of a tied Rapture, we'll have to see if they'll let the captains out for sudden death tiebreaker. This place is a bit snooty.

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I was asked what happens if/when someone ever bails on the Rapture at the last minute. Since we don't have alternates sitting around, that person would forfeit their singles match. Their Fourball and Chapman partner would have to play their own ball. They do NOT get to hit multiple shots/balls in the Chapman round. Basically... that person is going to lose. And I'm sure their opponents aren't going to have much fun either beating up on one guy.

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Houses

You have paid for Thursday night, so I recommend you take advantage of it. I'll be over there unlocking both houses around 4pm, and hopefully not dealing with any issues. Come over any time after that. I will email everyone information on their respective house. Read it and save it so you know what the rules are.

House #1 -  15841 Robin Hill Loop, Clermont, FL 34714
Casey, JW, Moostie, Ho, Geoff, Brendan, Gorecki, Danny

House #2 - 3201 Ibis Hill St, Clermont, FL 34714
Katie, Chandler, Gary, Darren, Reid, Faz, Adam, Dave

DPT Masters - Summer 2018 Preview

This week we're headed down to a league favorite, Lakewood National, where the fairways are wide and the greens are large. Completed in 2017, I believe this was the last course that Arnold Palmer had a hand in designing. There are a bunch of tee options, so play back as far as you'd like.

The league's "base" tees will be "Palmer," but a couple of guys have already moved back to "National" for a few bonus strokes. One member has moved UP to the "Friendly" tees at the bottom of the scorecard.

Click for Scorecard

Tee time is 9am, and rate should be $39 plus tax.

See you down there. A Rapture update will come out later toady, since a bunch of you are impatient and apparently didn't write down the info despite being posted more than three times.

Gorecki's Gimmies #1

Our new feature will compile insights from Gorecki about the game of golf. One day we might be able to compile a book to compete with Hogan's Five Lessons.

#1 - "It took three different coaches at GolfTec until I was finally told to hit the ball first."

The Memorial - 2018 Summer Recap

Gary is the freest of them all... using 4 birdies to shoot a +1 gross, tying his personal best on a USGA rated course (Crooked Cat 73 in Spring 2017).

I thought scores would be a little better overall, but only Faz finished in the red numbers, despite destroying the 15th teebox and his cart after back-to-back strokes (the physical disability kind) that led to double bogeys. JW might have even cringed if he saw it. But the rest of Faz's round was awesome, as a hot putter and decent chips allowed him to shoot +1 (gross) on 15 holes.

There were only a few gripes from people who hate freedom and probably have Che Guevara tattoos. But the course was exactly why The Gorecki Memorial was founded. If it annoyed you and made you play bad golf... well... the memory of Tragic Mike lives on and will continue to do so after he goes to the Parkland in the sky (RIP Parkland Builders Group).

Also... we had 20 greenies yesterday, which is kinda the point.

Gorecki John had a GREAT idea if/when we ever return to Freedom Fairways... of bringing coolers of beer and a grill to hold a parking lot party after the round. If they're gonna shut the doors at noon, we might as well have our own block party.

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It's now a race between Faz and Gary for the Cup. Gary MUST win on Sunday, and Faz has to finish worse than solo 3rd.

Unfortunately, due to the standings, we need to enforce Rule 3.2 this season, which disqualifies the big boobs of the league from money or points on Sunday: Dave, Darren, Danny (Triple Ds). It sucks to do so... but the rule is in place for a reason, and those guys didn't play enough events to qualify for the final Major.

At least Dave and Darren should be making their return on Sunday, and hopefully they can use it as final Rapture prep and make some side bets.

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This Sunday we tee off at 9am at Lakewood National. Gorecki booked it and "got us the deal" of $42, but this is early for us down in Bradenton. Get down there with plenty of time to warm up and check in. Last event of the 2018 calendar year, so make it count!

See you Sunday!

Friday Golf

Got one spot open for Friday, August 10th... 10am... ChampionsGate Country Club. $35 cash.

Let me know if anyone out there can take the day off and join us.

Official Memorial Tournament Announcements

Hello DPT Memorial Participants.

I'll begin these tournament announcements with unfortunate news that on Sunday my "Tradition Unlike Any Other" will be forced into retirement. Yes it saddens me so, but my Tee Box Announcing and poor impersonation of Ivor Robson will be tabled at this season's Memorial Tournament.

So to help calm the hysteria that might ensue after you all learn of this, I have posted the verbiage of Sunday's Participants below and leave each of you the challenge to mimic Ivor's voice.

Feel free to reference what this ESPN Reporter requested similarly of PGA Players to attempt...

So here is the script to Sunday's Announcement of Pairings:

"Lads and Lassie, Welcome to the 2018 Semi-Annual Memorial Tournament!"

"This is Tee Position A. On the tee from the USA, 2017 Summer Co-Champion, Chris Fazioli"
"On the tee from the USA, 2015 Spring Champion, John Webermeier"
"On the tee from the USA, 2016 Summer Champion, Michael Gorecki"
"On the tee from the USA, 2012 Summer Champion, Chandler Brown"

"This is Tee Position B. On the tee from the USA, 2014 Summer Champion, Gary Brown"
"On the tee from the Netherlands, 2015 Spring and 2016 Spring Runner-Up, Mike Oostenbrink"
"On the tee from the USA, making her 3rd Memorial Tournament appearance, Katie Austin"
"On the tee from Jamaica, 2014 Spring Champion, Robert Reid"

"This is Tee Position C. On the tee from the USA, 2015 Summer Runner-Up, Brian Buchert"
"On the tee from the USA, 2017 Summer Co-Champion, Brendan Donoghue"
"On the tee from the USA, 2013 Spring Champion, Geoff Leighly"
"On the tee from the USA, 2016 Summer Runner-Up, JW Ferguson"

And unfortunately our Defending Champion had a scheduling conflict and is unable to attend but he was thoughtful enough to return the Championship Trophy in time. So it will be on display and be presented to its new Champion at the conclusion of the tourney!

Spring 2018 Memorial Champion- Casey Rease

Also, I am pleased to announce that Tampa Bay Brewing Company has once again renewed their Beverage Sponsorship, so be sure to see me and collect your tournament "gift bag"!

Please inform the BGR I forecast a very weak rating for Freedom Fairways as there is NO cart girl and I don't think you can even classify them having a "bar", once you see that amenity. But golf carts are parked just steps from your car and I see no signs banning outside drinks/coolers. So take advantage of this and bring a cooler stocked w ice, then come get your TBBC pints! I assume the BGR will be observing your preparedness and this perhaps may play a part when the next BGR rankings are evaluated?
 
So this concludes this seasons tournament announcements. "I'll let you go gentleman" and look forward to seeing you all at The Memorial!

The Memorial - Course Info

Tee time is 9:30am. There's no range, and I think they only have one net next to the first hole.

EVERYONE is playing from the tips (Gold tees) on Sunday. This causes a couple of long par 3s for Katie (170 yards), but she gets two bonus strokes for moving back.

If you decide to go for a green, make sure it's clear or you've been waved up. The 3rd and 6th holes are blind tee shots, so if you're going for it you better make sure it's open.

The 17th hole has a local rule (and sign) saying you aren't allowed to cut the corner. I don't really care what you do, but you'll be hitting over an assisted living facility if you go left. You also won't find your ball (OB).

The roads are also OB. You already knew this, though.

Pretty sure the entire course is cartpath only, all the time. You won't really notice since it's so short.
After the round we can drink a beer inside the "clubhouse," but we're going to want to go somewhere else for lunch.

Practice Round

I got a 10am tee time at Southern Dunes on Saturday. It's a course we really need to add to our rotation, but couldn't fit it in this season due to their maintenance and event calendar.

If you want the FINAL spot with me, John and Darren (he's trying golf again)... comment below.

Jamaican Open - Summer 2018 Recap

I was waiting all day for the recap of Saturday’s Jamaican Open and then realized Chandler wasn’t even there so I guess it’s up to me.

Due to the rescheduling of the event, only eight of us were able to be “members for a day” at Seminole Lake CC. Pretty solid deal of $50 for an early Saturday tee time, range balls, and anything off the extensive lunch menu. The course was in great shape and it was hilarious to watch us goons warm up on the range next to a guy trying to make it on the PGA Tour, a long drive champion, and Brittany Lincicome. Reminded me of the time Gary went up to Southern Hills just to practice and was on the range with a ton of dudes trying to Monday qualify for the Valspar.

I haven’t had a chance to go back and look yet but I bet John is in rare company of players to buy pitchers two events in a row for scores worse than +10 and then win the following event. He was +4 gross through 15 holes and then decided to choke his best round away by going +6 over the last three holes. Otherwise he would have had to buy a pitcher for going lower than -10. That’s quite the turnaround! Congrats on the win John. I’m really regretting the swing tip I gave you on the range at Grasslands. From now on, only people mathematically eliminated from the DPT Cup will be graced with my expertise of the game.

It was great having Buchert back out there even if he was spreading nasty rumors of collusion leading up to the event. Pretty rich for a guy recently back from Russia. His net score of -6 wins most events.

Everybody else played pretty well overall with just a few too many mistakes to put any real pressure on John. It’s not too often you see a score of +2 come in dead last, even with a small field.

If you’re up to date on reading the comments then you already know Gorecki nearly killed Gary. To Gorecki’s defense, he did send a warning shot by buzzing Gary’s tower with a shot that went OB. For reasons unknown Gary decided to stay in the line of fire without even turning around to watch and wouldn’t you know it, the player not exactly known for his consistent ball striking rips another one right at him. Luckily Gary’s hearing is better than his vision and he heard our chorus of fores just in time to protect his head and took the ball right off his shoulder blade. You want to talk about collusion??? That saved Gorecki from going OB again and ultimately allowed him to tie me and Brendan for 5th place.

Big event coming up on Sunday at a tricked up course. There could be some serious shake ups in the standings going into the DPT Masters. I’m going to practice putting on my carpet all week to prepare for the green speeds and I recommend you do the same. God dammit, there I go giving out tips to my competitors again. Good luck lady and gentlemen!

Reid's Reads #2 - Swing Compilation

Be sure to re-watch Reid's Reads #1... check it out here.

Reid has been in the "green room," smoking up some new commentary on the swings of our league. Watch and learn from the master of golfing tips!

Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 8 - Seminole Lake Country Club

As your newest BGR member, I have been casted into a great new responsibility! A responsibility that I feel is only God’s work, bringing you your Beer Golf Review of the most recent DPT event play. I did not campaign for this honor (just bought a sweet beer papoose carrier), but just like most great men before me, honor and leadership is thrown on our shoulders. I can’t help but feel guilty going against what my great mentor the Chinese Philosopher Tao said:

A leader is best

When people barely know he exists

Of a good leader, who talks little,

When his work is done, his aim is fulfilled,

They will say, “We did this ourselves”.

 

Today we made up the Jamaican Open due to rain last week at Grasslands Golf and Country Club. As most people would find this to be a hindrance, us at the BGR see this as an opportunity to booze review another course, and this weekend we played a humid round of golf at Seminole Lake Country Club. This caused a dilemma for some of our Gator fans as they thought someone would grab their privates or steal their shoes. It is just an area of Pinellas not your superior rival, either way we had a low attendance of 8 golfers, but some of your best boozers were out.

We had the reappearance of Brian Buchert (BGR #3). Brian had the privilege of the beer cart fanny pack cooler on his cart so was my favorite going into the golf portion of the event. He finished 2^nd due to some elaborate mind games on hole 9 from the #1 BGR ranked Big John. If you are wondering, the fanny pack cooler foursome has been present in 3 events and has always had the event winner in it. Not to mention many more medalists.

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start early

I can’t really say if they would have sold to us beer before 11am on Sunday since it was Saturday, but I do like these random Saturday rounds. Some would argue this Saturday round was collusion by certain high ranking DPT officials, but what do you expect from politicians. If I had to guess, they would not have sold beer before 11am on Sunday being it is a Pinellas course. Pack your bags, have no fear, there aren’t any cart boys or a starters here.

Boozer Cruiser?

Saw the beer cart twice (11 & 16). I had a full booze cooch on the front with an open buffet of Twisted Teas, Coors Lights, Jai Alais, Arnold Palmer Tall Boys, and waters so we tickled her fancy just to see what she was working with. Buchert ordered 2 esteemed Bud Heavys at the rate of $4 a pop. Listen up, this is the most interesting move you will ever have the opportunity to write about as a Golf Course Beer Review Artist. They serve glass bottles!!! What? If you are caught drinking cans on the course, they know you are a Booze Gypsy. Touché Seminole Lake Country Club, Touché.

Club House Love

The old style multi-tiered club house gave a feeling of comfort. Prompt service and a courteous young lady helping us with our unobligated pitcher drinking. Pitchers were $12 and it passed "Big John's Woodford Side Car Test" at $8.50. I’m not sure if they know about our league but they threw in a complimentary lunch which shows me we’ve made it.

At the end of the day, I think I liked this course, and it should be revisited. I mean Brittany Lincicome was 3 groups ahead of us. From a golf perspective it was easy on the eye and it is an above average booze yard. Seminole Lake Country Club is getting my 4 beer rating. Congratulations!

On a side note Gorecki hit Gary with a golf ball. Not alcohol related, but would be a lot cooler if it was. YAYYYYY PINKYS OUT BITCHES

The Memorial - Sunday, August 5th

In an effort to maintain the integrity and original intent of The Memorial, I'm dragging the league down to Freedom Fairways in Sun City Center. It's a 3,300 yard par 63 featuring nine par 3s and nine par 4s. Many of the par 4s are "drive-able," although it's probably not the smart play.

Anyway, Freedom Fairways is a very quirky place. John and I did a scouting trip down there last month and deemed it to be "Memorial worthy." Overall the conditions were better than some places we've been (RIP Tarpon Woods), but the greens were basically thick carpet that rolled very true despite the slowness. The entire layout looks like Brendan designed it, and since I can't find the actual architect we can just assume he did.

The 2nd hole is a 170 yard par 3... followed by a 180 yard blind par 4 which John almost aced. And regardless of what the scorecard says, the course is ONLY rated in the USGA database from the tips for both men and women. So we're all on the same tees!

There will be plenty of greenies out there, and the long drive hole will probably require a lay-up off the tee. People who score well are going to say it was fun, while those that eject are going to complain more than they already do.

But here's the most important part:

We have 16 spots reserved and 12 members RSVP'd. All open spots are now first-come-first-served to remaining members and guests. There is a GROUPON for $20 greens fees and a free beer. Groupons must be purchased for 2 or 4 people... so we need to pair up to cover everyone. If you don't have the groupon, you'll be paying $30+ with NO FREE BEER. Believe me...  you do not want to pay more than $20 for this experiment experience.

I purchased two groupons for the first 8 people who send me $20 via PayPal or Venmo. Do it now or you'll be on your own to secure the deal!

Chandler's Groupon List (FULL):
Chandler
Gary
Faz
Brendan
Geoff
Katie
Moostie
Reid

JW’s Groupon List (FULL):
JW
John
Buchert
Gorecki

Seminole Lake Scorecard

Base tees this week are WHITE, which plays a short 6,050 yards adjusted (SL is a par 71). If you move back, you'll get 2 or 3 bonus strokes on the BLUE tees playing adjusted 6,370.

Let me know if any of you longer guys want to roll the dice. I'll lock everything down sometime Friday afternoon.

View the scorecard here.

2018 Rapture - Draft Results

Our national nightmare is over. Danny is officially IN, and has paid. Leaving only Darren and Adam left to send in $115. Brendan and Geoff are officially saved.

Due to the rainout at Grasslands, we had plenty of time to hold the Rapture draft and create the pairings. I even fielded a couple of genuine questions asking if we played a scramble or shamble format.

We do not. Never have (in the Rapture), never will.

On to the draft results! Casey is going with BLUE this year, and Kaite decided on PINK. I guess red would be the backup if you don't actually have a pink shirt.

1 - Faz
2 - Chandler
3 - Dave
4 - Gary
5 - Reid
6 - Moostie
7 - Adam
8 - Ho
9 - Darren
10 - JW
11 - Geoff
12 - Brendan
13 - Gorecki
14 - Danny

Hold off on your predictions until the week of the Rapture, as handicaps won't be set until after our last event at Lakewood National. But here are the match-ups:

Round 1 - El Campeon - Best Ball
1 - Gary / Gorecki vs. Dave / Danny
2 - Faz / Brendan vs. Chandler / Katie
3 - Ho / Darren vs. Adam / Moostie
4 - Reid / Casey vs. JW / Geoff

Round 2 - Las Colinas - Chapman (Alt-Shot)
1 - Ho / Brendan vs. Adam / Geoff
2 - Darren / Gorecki vs. Chandler / Danny
3 - Gary / Reid vs. Moostie / JW
4 - Faz / Casey vs. Dave / Katie

Round 3 - Bella Collina - Singles
1 - Darren vs. Adam
2 - Gorecki vs. Dave
3 - Reid vs. Katie
4 - Faz vs. Chandler
5 - Brendan vs. JW
6 - Gary vs. Moostie
7 - Ho vs. Geoff
8 - Casey vs. Danny

More to come on this after the season!