Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 16 - Scepter Golf Club

As a founding member of the BGR, I will take a moment to apologize for the tardiness of this post. Being a good booze golfer is not all about 6 packs and pitchers. There is work that must be done to support this fantastic past time of ours. Who am I kidding...I'm like a well oiled machine except my oil is booze and I haven't been lubed for weeks. My apologies.

God Dammit Gorecki! After some time at the range that borrows parking from Falcon Watch Cyber Cafe (formerly Falcon Watch Golf Course Clubhouse?), we show up to the course and are queued up behind 8 foursomes of people who are actually as old as Gorecki looks. While everyone appreciates moving to new courses and someone siphoning off some of Chandler's authoritarian like power, it would be nice for said individual to actually know what two nines we are playing. After one of our elected officials made some inquiries, we got on the right track and off we went to play the Osprey/Falcon version of Scepter Golf Club.

You can't drink all day if you don't start early

This might as well be you can't drink. The only reason the "cafe and bar" door was open when we got there was thanks to Rease banging on the door long enough to get the security guard to unlock the door so he could evacuate the night before's White Russians. More to come on this.

On-course service

The ranger couldn't even guide us to the right set of 9's and tried to argue with us when we went to the correct place. While it doesn't really relate to the lack of cart girl, I wanted to make sure I let the hate out. 

Clubhouse experience

Pitchers were $7. We don't have an excel savant in the BGR so most of our stats are just guesses rooted in booze induced stupors, but I think this is an all time low. The rest of the clubhouse experience was literally covered in shit. I am all for teeing off early, but apparently Casey really needs the extra 30 minutes for some alone time, and when he attempted to use the restrooms in the clubhouse was met with not one but two "blown up" poopers. He proceeded to go next door and get the doors unlocked so he could meditate before throwing up a pitcher round. While Casey was we'll say miffed about this experience, refusing to buy his pitcher at that course, I think there were some good takeaways. First, Dave powered through and used the crappy crappers. I know this is the Jamaican open, but I think we learned a bit about the conditions in Ireland after watching Dave enter that filth without batting an eye. Second, slapping a sign on the door that says out of order as opposed to cleaning up the mess is not the way to fix the problem. I'm not a married man, but I will file this away for future reference. Finally, I decided to research proper throne sitting procedures and was really pretty inspired by what I found and felt It should be shared.

Just to set some ground rules

While accepting of all cultures...we at the BGR have officially endorsed position 1

David we believe all of these to have been acceptable on-course alternatives

Shot of the week

We will need some volunteers to take up the mantle for the last event of the season. 

Pissability

Apparently in the restrooms aim is optional so happy hunting. The front nine was pretty much retirement golf course hell, 400 yard visibility in all directions. The back was some what more shelter from the peeping toms. As long as you save the boozing till midway through the front or are hungover enough not to create liquid, you should be fine. 

Overall

There was talk of the first ever 0 beer rating. Chandler has often talked of growing the game and the BGR believes this involves appealing to the next generation of golfers. Scepter has bucked the trend and decided to do away with the cart girl and the "we're private it doesn't matter" theory. WHile I enjoy the course from the "golf" stand point, the BGR simply cannot endorse this line of thought. One beer for having the cheapest pitchers we've seen.

Just be glad its not covered in poop