Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 18 - Silverthorn Country Club

I know many of you are avid followers of the BGR and rely upon us for hard hitting, up-to-date coverage of all the local courses. We apologize for not covering  University Park Golf and Country Club. I'm not a bitter man, but let's just say:

Now that that is behind us. 

Let'd talk about all the things that are simply unacceptable on a golf course. First, while the BGR is a firm believer in "different strokes for different folks" identifying as a Gorecki is something that should not be tolerated. While I understand that the mind may wander into dark places when you are sitting up for the 5th night in a row at 3am trying to calm your infant, no daughter would be proud of seeing his father on top of the leader board sinking to that level. Second and finally:

You could have at least spelled Ho right!!

NO!!!!!

You can't drink all day if you don't start early

I did not attempt to purchase, but based on the fact that the gas station sold the BGR some get hards on the way to the course I assume they were open for business. The conversation in the clubhouse was something along the lines of:

BGR Member: What's the drinking situation on the course...is the cart girl going to be out there?

Golf Pro: I haven't seen her yet, but she should be out there.

Other BGR Member: What's the situation with the cart girl? I mean what are we working with?

Golf Pro: I'll let you be the judge of that.

On-course service

Little did he know. She was out on the course, but if we are putting a par on number of times we see the beer lady a round I would suggest that, just like our sport, four is the most commonly acceptable number. She was not really Johnny on the spot in that regards, but her prices were pretty strong at $15 for a sixer.

Clubhouse experience

I don't really feel the need to rehash the old "You Might Have Hep A" experience, but that does not bode well for this rating. I'm inclined to think that the 45 minute wait to ladle some soup into a bowl and drop in front of a 30 year old that is just now having his wisdom teeth taken out (really?) means that they fired everyone and found the only person on this planet with absolutely nothing wrong with them to prepare our food. I will also note that the symptoms of Hep A and Sunday drinking are eerily similar. We highly advise that you get the shot, but will also endorse the just drink through it, you'll be fine approach to life if you're scared of needles.

Pissability

Setting aside the handful of times that a cop has whispered, ever so tenderly, in my ear I could book you for indecent exposure for that, I had my first experience, during an off season round, of actually getting called out for peeing in public. This had my ears up like a meerkat in season, and if you happen to be looking for the ole one two combo of a possibly lethal virus and exploring your more voyeuristic side then you are in luck at Silverthorn.

There's nowhere to hide

Overall

Driving up to Hernando County twice in one week is simply not something most of us are looking to do. Twice for golf I can understand, but once for golf and once to keep away the die slow is just not what anyone signed up for. Based on the course conditions I don't think playing Russian Roulette with a french dip is really worth the second trip. The prices were pretty strong, and I brought the Thursday, Friday, and Saturday hangovers along as my free carry on so wasn't going to play the liquor game yet no correspondents reported anything egregious. I'll start this ranking at 4 ice cold beers and knock it down to 2 vaccine filled hypodermic needles.

You're going to feel a little pinch