Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 26 - Huntington Hills Golf and Country Club

Your good friends at Boozer's Golf Review are generally optimistic and positive about golf courses. We've been guilty of overrating some courses in the past based on good times had instead of just the facts. Our rating of the Ritz Carlton Members Club being the prime example, and as soon as we book another round out there we will adjust the review accordingly.

As we started on this venture we didn't have the clearest vision of what we wanted to accomplish or how we wanted to go about doing that. We're not in it for the clout, but as an index for the golfers who need to make choices between average courses around the area and might need one more data point to push them in the right direction. This review will not be pushing a Sunday golfer in the direction of Huntington Hills.

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

We fully expected to not be able to get booze until 11. That's ok for even the modestly prepared booze golfer. Bag bourbon and a few beers in the golf bag are pretty typical for those of us who want to make sure we're at least supplied until the turn. 9:30 tee time should get us there around 11:30, and we can restock there. BUT NOT AT HUNTINGTON HILLS!!! At Huntington Hills THEY DON'T SERVE ALCOHOL UNTIL NOON ON SUNDAYS. Yes, I'm screaming this as I type it. Infuriating. Fortunately for us, we asked before the round and found out the disheartening news.

Alas, I had the bag bourbon to turn to. At least I could get a diet coke to go with it. NOPE! CAN'T DO THAT EITHER! Huntington Hills serves Pepsi, which is exactly what I should have expected from a course that obviously doesn't care at all about its booze golfers.

Guess we're going to have to go with the Pepsi as our mixer for the day. At least at the turn they'll give me a free refill. NOPE! THAT'S ANOTHER $2.75 FOR SHITTY MIXER AND SOME ICE IN MY CUP! They're taking my money for all the worst reasons. And of course, we made the turn around 11:30 and were rebuffed in our request to sell a little bit early. This is a negative 4 beer rating kind of start to the review.

Thrifty boozing conditions

We were able to spend zero dollars on booze during the round because there wasn't a cart girl to start at noon and start supplying the parched customers on the course. You could be as daring as you want with the cart once you get it and drive it back to the car and fill up whatever you want. You'll probably want to stop back by the car at the turn in order to refill because you probably ran out on the front 9. Pitchers were under $9, too, but who cares at this point.

On course service

No cart girl. She wouldn't sell beer until the 13th hole anyway.

Pissability

It was ok. Bathrooms about halfway through each 9 and some forest areas along the way. You won't need to go on a hot Sunday morning, though.

Clubhouse experience

Cheap pitchers, grouchy service, average food. The place could also use some serious updating. I'd have rather gone off-site than stayed around this place.

Overall

We were tempted to give this course zero beers, but I don't think we're going to slam it quite this hard right now. Courses like Mark Bostick in Gainesville where they technically don't allow beers on the course at all should be the only zero beer courses. One BGR member played Huntington a few months beforehand on a Friday and was able to buy beers that were served in a cooler for the course, and the pitchers are cheap enough to buy all you need to fulfill your league obligations. That said, it's certainly no better than a one beer course based on the performance on Sunday. We at the BGR endorse not returning for club events unless we decide to go back to Saturday golf for the occasion.

This is a very sad beer.

Jamaican Open - Spring 2020 Recap

I spent some time on the putting green talking with Reid about how our league Club started as just four guys playing golf a couple of times each month. Growing into a solid group with 18+ events a year, in a seemingly smooth process, is beyond what any of the founding members envisioned 9 years ago. You usually have to be very selective to find reward in actually playing golf — but it's easy to see why the weekly experience is enjoyable.

Of course, Mr. "Did Reid Leave" wasn't in the clubhouse by the time my group finished (3:48 pace of play for group 3)... but that's OK. His warm sentiment towards the Club is worth sharing.

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The Brown guys posted some pretty solid numbers on Sunday, tying each other for a victory. Gary's quest for a Championship stumbled on the final hole, where it took him 5-shots to get in from 100 yards. While it's easy to count up all the strokes left on the course — especially at one as tricked-up as Huntington Hills — blowing up on the easy 18th hole is pretty bad. Still, an overall good round by our elder statesman.

Chandler, on the other hand, didn't leave any strokes on the table. He legitimately stole this "victory," with play that was so atrociously ugly/lucky it embarrassed him during the round. It was just one of those days where he was bailed out by the putter, and hills, and trees etc.

Once again, everyone else was above par (net), and quite mediocre. Troy continues to hang around the top of the standings, thanks to a timely birdie on #17. Dave desperately needs a handicap lift. And JW continues his Geoff impression, averaging over 5-strokes worse on the back-nines this season.

Everyone who hung out after the tournament seemed to like Huntington Hills (as a golf course). So we'll probably keep it around as a Spring option.

The results were very favorable to John and Geoff, who had to miss the event. We now have a very tight leader board, and might see the most people "mathematically" alive (within 600 points) after our next tournament.

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We're off this week! Some of us might be playing golf Saturday and/or Sunday. Make a comment if you want to get together.

The following week is the Hangover Invitational. We'll hit up a bar down in "South Tampa" on Saturday night. Come hang out and bring your WAGs (if applicable).

For the first time ever, we're going to Westchase the following morning. Tall Mike stepped up and negotiated a $60ish deal with free range balls. But the first tee time is 8:23am off the back-nine. Obviously this is severely going to hurt those of us that like to party. Sometimes in life you need to overcome obstacles. And the chaos that ensues might spark some discussions that I feel need to happen (again).

So anyway... thanks to Moostie for setting up the round. Hope to see you all at the bar next Saturday. Details to be posted later.

Huntington Hills Scorecard

Here it is. Everyone is on BLUE unless you tell me otherwise.

FBGC Championship - Spring 2020 Recap

As promised, the Bayou Club was not easy fun. It's a legit test of golf — and we saw what happens when real* golfers get tested.

*as in... not social media golfers with 4.0 handicap indexes

Adam picked up his 2nd win in Club history, and his first Major title. He was able to chase down and tie Geoff, who notched his 13th win (3rd Major).

Despite their impressive score of -3 (net), they definitely had to earn it. Adam needed 9 pars on the day — tied for the most pars-or-better in the tournament. And Geoff made 13 bogeys-or-better, which at his handicap is excellent.

Everyone else sucked and isn't worth talking about... except for Buchert. He should have won, if not for three unfortunate swings off the tee. His stretch of holes 2 through 7, where he posted -2 gross, was fun to watch.

Casey's 40 (gross) on the back nine was also impressive. Even though it was on the much easier side of the golf course.

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Geoff is now in the championship mix, but he's out next week so that might kill his chances. All the top ranked players ejected at the Bayou Club, causing the leader board tighten. With John out on Sunday this might be the craziest finish in our 16 seasons.

Katie is mathematically eliminated, since she does not have enough events played to qualify for the final week. Of course, she's welcome to attend as practice — like Dave (twice), Troy, and Darren did in previous seasons where they failed to hit minimum playing requirements.

And while Danny is eligible to play the finals for money and points... missing this week eliminates his chances at winning the Cup.

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Most of the "hate" for the Bayou Club came from people at the bottom of the leader board. Perhaps this is just a coincidence. But I've been stressing for years two things about golf courses: 1) form an opinion and 2) tell us that opinion. So while I think a lot of negative comments are subconscious hyperbole — those takes are also important.

We are a Club... only as successful as our participation makes it... and yet we're filled with lurkers.

Since there are currently only a few voices in this hermit kingdom, here's my opinion on the Bayou Club:

It isn't fun. It wasn't fun 10 years ago... still isn't fun now. But I don't require fun every week, especially for a Major.

There are a handful of good holes, and I personally like the loop of 13-16. But for the most part, it's not an overgrown tree issue that can be fixed with Brendan's chainsaw. There just isn't enough land on many of the holes to make it less penal.

It feels like a developer issue more than a swamp issue. The course was built in the height of the "Signature Era" of golf (1991). A huge name was hired — Tom Fazio — and his job was to consturct a challenging course that traversed the proposed neighborhoods. One where he could slap his name on it and never visit again. Mission accomplished.

You can't always fix bad layouts — and John/Buchert are correct in asking: "who would want to play it 3 times a week?"

But the greens were excellent, both in condition and contours. A few of the pin placements Sunday were brutal... but that makes for a more interesting leader board. The fairways were mostly decent, assuming you found them. And $70 is normal this time of year at a private club. Southern Hills would have charged us $95 plus tax last weekend (and through March). We'll probably only go to SH once a year from now on.

Anyway, I think Boisterous John calling Bayou Club a "dump" and "the worst course ever" is a huge disservice to the places actively trying to be terrible (The Claw, Wentworth, Northdale, etc). It's like calling Pamela Anderson "the most poorly aged 1990s celebrity," knowing full well that Macaulay Culkin still exists.

You get the idea.

It's nice to play something different. And we will continue to do so, which hopefully inspires some of you to use your big words.

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Reid previously asked us to check out Huntington Hills in Lakeland — 9:30am, $40 plus tax.

A handful of us have played it already... and the best thing I can say is... it's "interesting." The worst thing I can say is that the layout is completely tricked up, claustrophobic, and littered with randomly placed giant oak trees. Waste areas, forced lay-ups, forced carries, and OB tight to the course are everywhere. I predict it to be a challenge, with an advantage to those who play "smart golf."

The greens are large with interesting undulations, and the internet claims current conditions are good. So... see you out there! We got some spots open if anyone has a guest.

You're supposed to wear Jamaican colors... but I'm no longer collecting tax for those of you who either can't remember or refuse to participate. We're too large for that and I can't even get you people to pay your debts in a timely manner. Speaking of...

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All the pitchers should be up to date. Double check and try to convince me otherwise. I doubt I'll believe you.

Those of you (myself include) that owe money or batteries... pay your damn debts so we can clean up the space.

Boozer's Golf Review Volume 26 -Bayou Club

In the endless hunt to find new and exciting locations for our weekly boozing sessions, we trekked out to Pinellas County to the "esteemed" Bayou Club. Our Dear Leader will tell you that the ensuing post is related to the poor play of a BGR founder, but I assure you no matter whether we are fresh off a quick holiday to the islands or being picked up from church to be brought to golf we are impartial arbiters of all things booze golf.

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

This correspondent did not personally look into the early serving situation, but I would assume such an "illustrious" club would fly their own flag. We can report that Lynn, the cart lady, was making rounds early in our round and it appeared she had made a few rounds prior to our first visit with her, based on the tick marks on her legal pad.

Thrifty boozing conditions

You know what really grinds my gears??? When a golf course is trying to maintain its "venerable" status by continuing to be private course, yet allows us on without issue and makes up for their failing membership by gouging you on the booze. I ordered a liquor drink on the course for the first time in a long time and was rewarded with a $9 single Tito's soda lime. That is highway robbery. I did think ahead and have some bag beers so no need to order a 6 pack special, but honestly this place can go f@$k itself.

                                                  

These ass clowns have the nerve to charge people not part of their "exclusive" club more than what the members pay. I would have played a boozeless round, had I not brought my own beers, in protest of this shit. $25 for members is a kick in the balls. $30 for the peasants is down right insulting. To cap it off, we were paying $18.50 a pitcher in the clubhouse for Bud Light. Who do these people think they are?

On course service

Lynn was very pleasant. Assuming she is not getting a cut of the booze ripoff, she was a redeeming factor. We saw her 3 times, but most groups visited with her 4 from what I gather. She didn't give me any problems about the off the course beers despite the "extremely enforced" rule (as mentioned on the score card).

Pissability

One of the funnier things I watched on the course today was Rease punch out from under a bush and then drop the club and pee in his divot. I'm not sure if the urge just hit him or he was as overwhelmed by the number of sunbathers and porch sitters as I was. The two par threes on the back were probably the best coverage of the day, but if you are mindful of your bladder and try before we leave you should be covered by the pee stations every 3-4 holes.

Clubhouse experience

Honestly pretty pleased. The food was very reasonably priced, everyone knows booze is where the money is at. The servers were super helpful and split the checks without even asking us "remind me what you had." I feel like we are usually the people that walk into the clubhouse and cause everyone else to leave, but I think the golden oldies that rolled in after us could put us to shame any day.

Overall


I could never play this course again and be happy. This is admittedly both golf and booze related. In an age where drinking on the course is basically the norm, these d-bags have the nerve to tell you you can't bring anything on to a private course, which is perfectly okay if they allow it, and then basically present you with one of three ways to go broke after paying $70 for a mediocre course. I risked the felony and boozed/hacked my way to a pitcher, but this was generally an unpleasant experience. We gave the Ritz a 5 (which might be high), but it was an awesome course and earned the ability to rip people off. If the BGR as a whole was touring local courses to join this would be at or near the bottom of the list. You could give me a $1000 monthly minimum and I would get there with $2 PBRs, $4 wells, and $5 shot of the days without issue, but I wouldn't pay the $100 monthly membership promotion to drink your over priced BS. 2 beers and be happy that someone said you were worth 3.

***Countryside Update***

I had mentioned in the previous post that some of our 5's maybe needed to be revisited. Countryside two weeks ago retained its rating. The prices are right. The breakfast sandwiches are strong. Haven is the best cart girl in the greater metropolitan area. Discontinuing the brunch is a downer, but if it was still there we might have been looking at a 6.

Bayou Club Scorecard

Below is the scorecard for Sunday. It's been awhile since we've played somewhere that might make you think about it... but this is definitely one of those courses.

Buchert is going to move back to the Blue tees.

Out of desperation, I'm going to move up to the Gorecki Senior Chairman tees.

If you want to know how many strokes you get on each tee... use our handicap calculator on the "Members" page.

Tell me before Saturday night if you want to make a move.

Important: The 16th hole has two teeboxes. Take the fork to the RIGHT when you get to it. If you go left... that's on you people.

FBGC Championship - Preview

Headed to another "new" course for us, the Bayou Club in Largo. Because it's a private club, we have to go out a little later than usual. First tee time is 10:50am. Cost is $65 plus tax (reduced from $85+ for guests).

I played here over 10 years ago, and I remember it being long with lots of water. I have everyone on the White tees, except for Gorecki who is on the "Senior Chairman" tees (blend of White and Green).

I'll post a scorecard as soon as I get one, so you can decide what fits best for you.

See you Sunday.

Match Play Recap - Spring 2020

John became the first player this season to notch multiple victories. While I wouldn't say he had a stellar round (score-wise), shooting under par (net) on those greens should be applauded. We've played that layout three times in Club history, with John finishing T12, 14 (DFL) and now 1st.

Troy finished one stroke out of first, doing what basically everyone who made picks (shame on you who didn't) didn't think was possible — back-to-back low rounds. Sadly, his next handicap adjustment might haunt him the rest of the season. Regardless, Troy is on fire right now.

If you ever needed a reminder how important Match Play is, look no further than Adam beating Ho. Both played like garbage and finished in the bottom two spots. But Adam beat the guy he was paired with and earned 100 valuable Drunken Pirate Tour points... more than seven players who finished above him on the leader board. In future years where we don't have multiple people failing to hit the playing requirement for the Rapture, this might matter.

John might be a lock for Rapture Captain this year. Brendan needs one more round to get on the rankings, and Buchert needs two.

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Gary said he feels like he's always playing Reid in Match Play (non-Rapture).

Doing a quick check, they've only played each other twice. Buchert/Brendan have squared off a record 4 times, however. And only four pairings have happened 3 times: Chandler/Darren, Chandler/JW, Darren/Moostie, Faz/Geoff.

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Ho and JW lost the aforementioned picks contest, owing a pitcher to the five non-losers. Ho did buy his 2 pitchers for the day (via Buchert).

If anyone else owes something let me know. Unfortunately, Gorecki can't repay groups C and D the lost time from watching him stand over shots for 2+ minutes... before deciding to pull the trigger or switch clubs (again).

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We're off this upcoming weekend. Then it's on the the Bayou Club for the 2nd Major. We need to get as close to 20 people as possible, so update your RSVP now. I'm going to replace you "maybe" people the first change I get.

Match Play Pairings / Schedule Change

We have canceled one of the tee times, since we have exactly 16 golfers. Tee time is still 8:30am. If you miss any holes... it's an automatic DQ (this has happened before).

Pairings and strokes can be found here. Some of you don't know where "here" is... but the "Tournament Scorecard" link on each event page is where you'd find Match Play and Skins Game information. It's always been there... and will always be there.

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Based on the RSVP grid, we are going to switch the Jamaican Open with the Hangover Invitational. This should allow a few more of the "regulars" to attend the bar.

See you Sunday.

Boozer's Golf Review Volume 25 - The Groves

Our Dear Leader has made it his life's work over the last year to try and find new courses to host The Concussion. I assume this is based on his desire to try and match his name sake, Kim Jung Il's, awe inspiring, record breaking 38-under round of 34. While Our Dear Leader shares many characteristics with the deceased autocratic ruler, shooting a number that low is something he will have to continue to strive for.

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

There seemed to be a lot of confusion from the Grove's management team about what time we were teeing off and it was due to trying to accommodate a "member" event. The claim of having members and rolling up to a handful of custom carts outside the clubhouse, I assumed we just might be in luck. Sadly no. When we popped in for a pre-round sixer the bartenders eyes went to the clock and I walked away sober.

Thrifty boozing conditions

One of the guys that worked at the course was hitting balls with us on the range and switched shirts to his work attire just in time to point us in the right direction to start our round. While I did not have the forethought to bring some beers with me, based on the chaotic nature of the morning and the only person that would police us being on the range, rest assured you can strap on the papoose and never hear a word about it. The 6 pack special was $20 for 16 oz. domestics. This falls slap dab in the middle of low to average priced beers, but The Groves stepped their game up with some good coolers, not your average plastic bag full of ice or cart cooler that doesn't fit a Budweiser bottle can, but gold old fashioned soft-sided, firm framed Ozark Trail travel coolers.

Is that so hard?

On course service

No cart girl. BGR founding member Buchert pointed out that this was definitely a bit of a detractor for the course. Its long enough, spread out enough, and busy enough to at the very least load a cooler onto a flatbed and make that paper.

Pissability

This is quite possibly the least pissable course we have ever played. We're talking Countryway levels of exposure. However if you really gotta go, you might be able to stop off at one of the houses on the two cul de sacs you have to drive through while driving between holes. There was probably 3 pee stations, but all of us tend to get the urge when there is never one in sight. The residents of the previously mentioned cul de sac do have one request of all of us.

To bad I noticed this because I hit my ball into it.

Clubhouse experience

Where do we start? With 6 pitchers on Fort Broke, seven people earning 1 pitcher and Shanky Mon earning 6 (later knocked down to 3) after having withdrawn after 10 holes we were going to need a good place to get our boozing on. Pitcher's were reportedly $8 so it was a good day to get out of Fort Broke and was easy on the wallets of the half of the filed that blew up today. There's no seating to speak of inside, but the patio area was perfect for our needs. Perhaps even more perfect was Christmas morning level of joy that spread across Faz's face when he realized they were still serving breakfast a 1:30pm. I followed suit and ordered the meat lover's breakfast bowl which was basically just as good as this boozer's favorite breakfast restaurant, Waffle House. Overall pretty solid clubhouse experience. Came to find out later that it even has a Champagne room for 70 year old women whose husband's are at the strip club. I have nothing else to add on the matter, despite Our Dear Leader's set up.

Overall

The course is really pretty fun and for the well prepared boozer could be an all day bender. The prices and clubhouse experience were both stellar. I was thinking that our only 5 beer course was Countryway, but upon further review notice that there are actually 4. Countryway is missing its 6th beer due to no cart girl and low pissablity. The other courses are all private and are missing the 6th beer due to cost above anything else. I think there is a strong chance that if The Groves had a cart girl it would be our first 6er (pissability rarely matters to the hammered boozer). I look forward to bringing this into The Concussion rotation and hope to one day find the illusive 6 pack course, but today we are still one beer short at 5 frosty cold ones.

The Concussion - Spring 2020 Recap

Troy was masterful at The Groves, a course which clearly suits his game. Laying back off every tee, he put himself near the green on 15 holes — which he was able to convert into 14 pars and 1 birdie. His putter was hot, thanks to some decent (and slow-ish) green conditions. It was definitely nice to watch someone have the round of his career.

Troy's 11-stroke victory was a league record.

Casey played the complete opposite game, refusing to lay-up on any holes. Somehow his driver never strayed far from the fairway, allowing him to shoot a respectable +3 (net).

It sounds like everyone enjoyed The Groves, despite it now being ranked 2nd in terms of difficulty throughout Club history. We now at least have a rotation of executive courses, and I hope to add a 3rd this summer.

Obviously... everyone wanted to know "what happened to Reid." I wasn't in his group, but it sounds like he got a little to into the new tournament — and showed up with a concussion. He developed the shanks and eventually ran out of balls on the course. I'm told it was a tough scene, with his playing partners desperately trying to help any way they could. Ultimately... sometimes you just gotta take a break and reset next week.

The vibe after the round was... interesting. I'll let the BGR tell you more about that.

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We'll be at Countryside for Match Play. 8:30am

Waiting on a couple of guys to decide if they're in before I can finish filling out the pairings. Maybe they'll update their RSVP soon? 

Match Play - Week 5

Big Cypress is having a large Canadian event (naturally) on February 9th so they couldn't get us out. Casey stepped in and got us on Countryside (Lake/Pine) for $45+ tax. We'll gladly take that rate this time of year.

However, he booked us 20 spots at 8:35am. Good for all of you who claim you "like early tee times." Bad for all of you who say that but in reality can't get your shit together before 9am.

Update your RSVPs... and tell me if you have a buddy who wants to join. We're going to have extra spots, and because it's Match Play I'll need to get creative with the groupings.

The Concussion - Spring 2020 Preview

Ya'll ready for some pitchers? Because we got 6 in the backlog an there will be a handful more "earned" on Sunday.

There's a lot of re-branding going on lately, and The Concussion is part of the evolution of our Club. Gone is the celebration of one's lack of accomplishments in life — and instead we pay tribute to our lack of skill in this game we commit so much time and money. Sure, most of you haven't officially hit someone in the face with a golf ball. But you're all capable of doing it.

We're headed to a "new" course for the Club — The Groves in Land O' Lakes. I previewed it awhile ago, and I'm excited to take us somewhere not named "Countryway" (since reviews of Freedom Fairways were mixed between you people). As a staunch defender of Countryway over the years, I'm definitely not trying to throw shade at the best grill in golf. But variety is incredibly important at our bi-annual Executive Course tournament.

So everyone is on the tips (Blue) except for Katie who is playing the ladies tips (White). Executive golf usually produces low Course Handicaps, and coupled with the new USGA calculation I'm expecting a bloodbath. Someone will put up a good score... but it's not going to be Mr. Driver (Casey). Leave that club in the car and replace it with a Square Strike.

Cost is $27-ish. Tee time is 10am. There is a driving range. And we are going out in order of standings the rest of the season. Only adjustments will be made for those of us with guests, keeping the order as close as possible.

Three of you are ???s, so update your status ASAP.

Also, if you've been playing golf lately outside of the Club... send in your scores!

FBGC Open - Spring 2020 Recap

Reid took advantage of the MLK Freedom Weekend bump to win his first ever Open Championship — making him the 3rd Member to complete the Grand Slam Devil's Triangle.

He attempted to choke away the victory with an untimely double on 17. But at that point Casey was already too far out of the running, and JW had thrown up all over himself (metaphorically) on 16 with a quadruple-bogey (his 2nd of the day).

It looks like most of us had at least one blow-up hole that ruined our day. Perhaps the light, but annoying, rain was the cause of poor play. The greens at SoHilly were at least in great shape, and fast. Overall we got really lucky with the weather and conditions, so that makes me feel a little better about their recent rate-hike.

Reid now sits atop the standings, and made some big moves in becoming a Rapture Captain.

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I think the Deadbeat List is correct... I know the pitcher list is. So tell me if anything else needs to be added/removed.

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We're off this week for Gasparilla. I'll hopefully get The Concussion booked soon.

Course Handicap Calculator

I figured out how to fix the Handicap Calculator on the "Members" page of this blog.

You can now enter in ALL four fields to get your Course Handicap (100% allowance). Yes, it's a pain in the ass... but that's what the USGA is expecting us to do.

If you ever want to know how your handicap moves between tee-boxes... this is where I'm going to direct you.