To the Victors, Go the Cheese

The inaugural season of DPT Golf is complete, and we went out in a drunken stupor. World Woods was in great shape, the villas were awesome, and we didn't get any rain.We also traded a ton of cash with each other in side-bets, skins and cards.

Round 1 - Pine Barrens

The Asians took on the Whites (Robb/Ryan) in a match that didn't mean anything except side-bet potential. It turned out to be one of the best performances of the season for Robb/Ryan. Without any pressure of victory, they shot a 4-over 75 despite two double-bogeys. An eagle on the par-5 fourteenth helped the crackers beat down their handicap to dangerous levels. Meanwhile, the Asians stunk up the course. Final score: Rob/Ryan win 75-81 (gross).

#3 Reid/Geoff took on #2 Frank/Steve with a 5-stroke handicap. Ebony and Ivory started out strong, getting par on their first 6 holes, before the inevitable collapse happened. Going 6-over on the next 7 holes eventually created a tie game as the teams hit #18. Playoff holes seemed on the horizon, despite the brutal 5 hour pace that my group had to play behind. As we stood watching (and waiting) in the fairway on 18, we could see Geoff/Reid putting from off the green for birdie to win the match. Geoff missed wide (leaving a testy par putt). Reid stepped up and made a solid stroke... and the ball disappeared into the flag stick. Game over... everyone was stunned. Final score: Reid/Geoff win 73-74 (net).

The final match-up was #1 Bito/Gomez vs. #4 Justin/Chandler (getting two strokes). That lead was erased by hole four, and it was looking to be a grinding afternoon with the teams still tied after hole six. But then Bito/GoMex went on the bogey train, getting three to close out the front side. This prompted Gomez to say to his partner: "They're just going to par us to death." That was, in fact, Justin/Chandler's strategy... and they were able to put away the game with a birdie on the par 3 sixteenth. Final score: Justin/Chandler win 73-78 (net).

Round 2 - Rolling Oaks

The Asians and the Whites decided to play some game called "Wolf" for side-bets. So I'm not sure how that turned out, and their round can't be used for handicapping next season. But it sounded like they had fun.

In the "Third Place Game," Bito/Gomez took on Frank/Steve giving two strokes. There weren't any prizes on the line, but we had a decent amount of cash in skins and side-bets riding on the results. Frank/Steve shot a respectable 78 with a couple of birdies, but Gomez decided to drop the hammer. They carded two birdies and an eagle for a one-over 73... which also drops their handicap for future rounds. Final score: Bito/Gomez win 73-76 (net).

Finally, Justin/Chandler squared off against their nemesis Reid/Geoff for the championship. Ebony and Ivory were 2-0 against Ginger Brown, and had won a few other exhibition matches prior to the playoffs.  Their 5-stroke advantage seemed insurmountable after Justin got obliterated the night before (chugging Jager) and basically slept for about four hours. True to form, JC started with two bogeys and Chandler (Negative Nancy) pretty much gave up hope. Whenever the match seemed to get close, Justin/Chandler would shoot themselves in the foot off the tee  The final dagger came on #14, when a double-bogey from a bunker derailed all realistic hopes of winning. Final score: Reid/Geoff win 74-76 (net).

The winners each got a giant fucking wheel of cheese, courtesy of Irish John and Irish Dave at Kerrygold. I have no idea how they're going to eat all that cheese, but I'm sure they'll give it the ol' "college try."

Geoff & Reid. Earning some chedda'.

We drunkenly agreed to start next season AFTER football... so end of January or beginning of February 2012. We're also thinking of expanding to 8 teams... but more on that later. And we're definitely going to tweak some of the rules.

Over the next few weeks I'll do some analysis on handicaps, new rules, golf courses and off-season outings. Stay tuned.