More Picks!

JW's excellent commentary got me inspired. Here are some more picks before the leader boards attack the blog:

Round 1
Dave/JW wins Tree & 2 over Chan/Mike
Tall Mike has never won a Four-Ball match. The last time I was paired with him (2014) he was complete garbage. Granted, he had a lot of back and medication issues. And Mike is the hottest golfer on tour this year. But his nearly 5-point drop in handicap over the past few months has finally transformed Tall Mike from Paige Spiranac to Inbee Park.

Tall Mike... then and now.

JW's 17 (17?!? GTFO) strokes drop Chan/Mike like a sack of potatoes. Dave contributes a few times, but mostly just wanders around the course picking up said potatoes.

Reid/Brendan 1up over Buchert/Geoff
Unlike my captain... Brendan has never lost a Four-Ball match. He'll be in a stroke-off against Geoff, needing 4 less to get the job done.

I first started going out to Reunion in 2009. Back then most of the mansions on the Nicklaus Course were abandoned and seemingly foreclosed. Geoff will be too distracted this week checking comp sheets and current listings to play golf. He ejects from the round early and often.

Buchert will be in much better shape than he was last year. But the Nicklaus course is too difficult for his snap-hooks. And despite Reid living in Gorecki's Cellar (currently not qualified for the 2017 DPT Ryder Cup), he'll chip in on 18 and pimp walk up to the green as if he does it all the time.

Darren/John 4&3 over Gary/Gorecki
Gary hits the ball further than he can see it. Not good for the heavily guarded Nicklaus Course. And the only time Gorecki has played this track, he literally (not exaggerated) took almost 6 hours to finish a 2-man scramble. He was my ride and I was in the group ahead of him. I sat on 18 for over an hour waiting on them. I don't care how much Gorecki has improved... he hates this course.

Round 2
Big&Tall Department Store 2&1 over D-off
As JW pointed out, 7 strokes in an alternate shot match are a lot. But let's just take a look at how most of the holes will play out. 1) Dave hits a good drive, while Geoff sprays it into the woods. 2) Geoff doesn't find the green on the approach with Dave's ball. 3) Dave has to chip with his hybrid. 4) Geoff putts it 5 feet past the hole. 5) Dave misses most of the 5-foot comebacks because he sucks at putting.

That's a lot of bogeys and worse. Give me Team Adjective here all day.

Chan/Brendan 1up over JW/Gorecki
Gorecki has been lights out (net) for two reasons. 1) He's taking lessons. 2) I'm helping him with course management so he doesn't embarrass us in Scotland next year. I'm not saying one positive word to him this weekend. Gorecki reverts to chunking chips, missing short putts that probably should have been given, and topping tee shots. JW won't snap any clubs because he knows playing with Gorecki is a lost cause.

Buchert/Gary 10&8 over Darren/Reid
Darren will have lost half his body weight in sweat by this point. And Reid will be in a hurry to watch Jamaica compete in the 4x420. An event filled with black, green and a gold medal.

Round 3
Gary 2up over Tall Mike
5 strokes isn't enough for Mike on a wide open Grand Cypress layout. In a practice round, Mike went into the deepest bunker on the course (2nd hole). Took him a couple of tries to get out. Like... physically. His body is creaky and he'll be low on pills by the singles matches.

Dave 6&5 over Brendan
Grand Cypress New Course was built to look like Scottish links golf. And Dave just did one of those Ancestry.com DNA tests, only to find out he was Scottish this entire time. Scottish Dave gives Brendan the ol' Brexit after the 13th hole. He then rambles on about the Queen for an hour while the other matches finish up.

Chandler 3&2 over Geoff
Geoff has been testing out new drivers, attempting to find one that he can hit consistently. Undecided, he shows up with 13 drivers and a putter in the bag. The match is actually tied until his chipping driver fails him on the 14th hole. He chunks his sand driver on the 15th to lose another point... and finally loses the match on the 16th when he accidentally hits his 210 yard driver on the 170 yard par 3. In his defense... they all look the same.

Darren 1up over Gorecki
Despite playing the white tees, the course is still 6,181. Something I will point out to Gorecki on... every... single... hole. It's just too long for Mr. Front Tees. But Mike plays well enough to be tied on the final hole. Sadly, that it isn't one of his 13 strokes, and he loses with a double bogey. Having come so close to proving that he shouldn't have been the last pick, Mike finishes the weekend 0-3. He then makes the same face he makes every week, when it's time to leave the course and go back to his family.

This face.

JW 2up over Reid
The Dub holes out for eagle from 130 yards with his newly re-shafted 9-iron. The shaft is made from a tree on his family's farm that was struck by lighting. As JW raises his arm in celebration, he too is struck by lighting. After all... playing in Orlando after 2pm is dangerous. And God really hated that tree.

Buchert 5&3 over John
With Orange up 4-2 after the first day, nobody in this final group thinks their match matters. Buchert and John proceed to get stupid drunk. They ghost ride their golf cart down most fairways. John lays on the ground while Gorecki is ahead of him grinding out 2 foot putts for triples. Buchert wins, but it's more of an accident than anything else.

Playoff
Dave 2up over Tall Mike
After all that, we head to a 3-hole aggregate playoff between Tall Mike and Dave. Mike only gets a stroke on the par-5 2nd hole, the same one with that super deep fairway bunker. Scottish Dave wins, adding to his Ryder Cup legacy.