Tuesday, June 26, 2018

2017-2018 Boozer’s Golf Review Power Rankings


You ask we deliver. At the Boozer's Golf Review, we are here to please. Unlike the empty promises about sidebar surveys and other interesting content, we will continue to deliver the goods week in and week out. With that said, we have a very strong Summer 2018 Rookie Boozer class. While their golf may not be anything special, their commitment to one of the age old traditions of our fine sport has them both in our top 11. As some of the of the legacy boozers of the group, we want to commend these two fine men, as well as all members who voted them in, for making boozing great again. 2017-2018 has brought with it many changes. Some of our previously esteemed boozer's have seen a fall in perceived value due to off the course infractions while others have taken the opportunity to step it up on course and fill in the vacancies left by the disgraced. Without further ado we proudly present your 2017-2018 BGR power rankings.


20. Casey Rease
Having the longest drive to about 75% of the events and a severe lack of tolerance keeps this guy from boozing pretty much ever. Different strokes for different folks, we guess. Did he really get a championship Yeti for water? Weak.
The Saddest
Yeti

19. Robert Reid
Reid is a friend of the Boozer's, but not a Boozer himself. Unless he has a top 3 finish he doesn’t tend hang out in the club house after the round, however he did pound some coconut water on Sunday and recommended it with rum. Note taken and will try in the future. He often gets upset about being ranked low, but we imagine he will wear this one with a bit of pride.

18. Mike Hauch
Don't know as much about Mike Ho's golf Boozing, but we did notice some ciders and light beers at the Retreat. Room for improvement, and it could start July 8 when he has the opportunity to impress some boozing royalty paired with him that day.

17. Greg Gleason
He's taking this season off, apparently, but showed some signs of life with Boozing before. As much as the station wagon may have been a point of contention, a good boozer can admit when he is wrong and congratulate Greg on ignoring the station wagon stigma and purchasing perhaps the ideal, non refrigerated truck, booze mobile.
Room for the clubs and the kegs

16. Geoff Leighly
This Boozer never misses a hangover bar night, which shows his dedication to the league and his support of the Boozing cause. Decent on course boozer who will go with some interesting mixed drinks and has a unique taste in music that overvalues 90's pop.

15. Gary Brown
We believe it to be common knowledge that there comes a time where one might outgrow boozing. Gary has done a reasonable job avoiding the boozing retirement home by having a few either on the course or in the clubhouse, but we at BGR happen to know another 63-year-old that would rank #1 if he was in league.

14. Dave Harrington
At The Retreat he made a grand speech about wanting to have a fun long weekend and bragged that he had already purchased cider's for the next day's Hangover Invitational. Alas getting home at tree in the morning proved too much for this pasty young boozer and he lost multiple spots due to this regrettable violation. A disappointment to all of Irish decent. Additional deduction as the exclusive cider drinking is almost more than we can take.
The Great Disgrace

13. Robbie Wilson
This may be one of the most questionable rankings. Robbie was number two on a couple of contributors lists until news spread of his lack of on course Boozing recently. While surprising to many, as the Party Bear, or Party Robot, is known to drink with the best if needed, his on-course boozing preference has left him out of the top 10. Redeeming factor: he is always in for a roadie on the way home.

12. Chandler Brown
Chandler is a consistent Boozer of the hallowed Budweiser school. Usually in for splitting a six-pack, he will sometimes abstain due to a hangover. That must be the downside of being built like a sandhill crane. Alas, his Boozing game becomes as boring as his golf game. He will provide some good jokes and club tosses, though.

11. Danny MacLean
While his commitment to golf is still questionable, it's only because the man enjoys non-golf, boozing related activities as well. Rarely does his boozing come without some complaining and we sometimes have to force feed him his roadie, but in general still a strong addition.

10. Mike Gorecki
Many will find this ranking surprising, but this boozer has a beer or two in the bag every week. His consistency with sneaking TBBC beers onto the course gets him a high ranking. Advance preparation is a rare characteristic in a boozer and Gorecki is certainly a rare human being. Who chooses APAs as their boozing beer of choice? This game is all about quantity (of beers not strokes).

9. Chris Fazioli
A solid Boozer with excellent taste in music is a great addition to any foursome. While it is not encouraged, to be a true boozer, passing out on the golf course or breaking something in your drunken fury is a bit of an initiation right, and we've simply not witnessed that commitment from this boozer. His Boozing regulator seems to kick in harder than the carts at Southern Hills.
He makes a mean chicken parm sub too

8. Katie Austin
Katie is a study in lack of consistency when it comes to boozing. She stopped going out on Saturday nights in an attempt to improve her game and won in her inaugural season. Since then she has provided the single greatest drunken performance this panel has witnessed on a golf course, due mainly to the residual alcohol factor from the night before, but in a more recent tournament she bummed a beer, took two sips, and gave the rest back! We simply can't figure out if she is truly a boozer or not, but her ceiling is extremely high.

7. Ben Leugers
Beardface's benders are stuff of legend, but in the past they have caused him to miss rounds, the Spring 2018 Hangover for example. While many people need some "swing lube" from time to time, this Boozer is literally unable to play golf without some alcohol in the tank. The turnaround he put together after buying 3 buckets and a pitcher at the turn at Tarpon Woods provides proof of his before and after consumption abilities. If he continues the consistent attendance he's shown this season, he will climb up these rankings quickly.

6. Mike Oostenbrink
At the mere mention of Yuengling, a large, goofy-looking Moose wearing glasses starts dancing through our minds. When your name is synonymous with a specific beverage, you have reached a special level as a boozer. Unfortunately, Tall Mike's Little Mike has shown us all the great threat to all of our boozing careers -- a baby. It's sad that the creation of one life takes the social life of another. Moostie's last 6 months have been a case study in the circle of boozer life.
Moostie

5. Brendan Donoghue
Pay close attention or else you may not notice Brendan, or his boozing. While he may not be leading the charge towards drunkenness, I dare you to find a time where he didn't order beers from the cart girl once you announce you are getting beers. He's also a very prepared boozer, which came in handy this season at Tarpon Woods. He's excellent with the Yeti, and thankfully the logo on it is somewhat subdued. Lastly, he almost always lets you win if you're playing him in match play. He's a very giving individual.

4. Darren Broom
There is a great mystery as to where all of Papa Drippy's sweat comes from, but we can say with confidence it is the finely tuned boozing machine that is his body making room for refills. If we had an age based handicapping system, he might make a push for the championship. He might not be able to consume the same amount of alcohol as some Boozers ranked above and below him, but he makes up that ground in consistency. Ordering a double Jack and Coke as soon as alcohol sales commence on a Sunday morning is almost as predictable as his drop-kicked 180 yard drive finding the fairway.

3. Brian Buchert
The creator and founder of "Bag Bourbon" had the foresight at one point to purchase an entire case of plastic bottle whiskey, displaying a preternatural foresight and safety-consciousness found only in the best of the golf Boozers. That case almost lasted an entire month. Off the course he doesn't let the boozing stop due to silly things like "night" or a "need of sleep," and he carries the party over smoothly to the course. The epic performance at Rapture 2 will keep this absentee Boozer high on this list for years to come.
The Original Bag Bourbon

2. JW Ferguson
Loves a fun round of Booze golf maybe more than anyone in the league. Contrary to other new fathers he survived a tough 2017 for Booze golf, which brought a wife and two kids, to still show up for, and Booze for, 14 of the last 18 events. This long-time Boozer has refined the golf aspect of his Boozing and greatly improved his playability and enjoyment factors after the "Summer of 100 Broken Clubs." He has also improved his preparedness level for our Sunday rounds and even makes time for the driving range Boozing these days.
The old Dub

1. John Webermeier
And it’s not even close. He received all of BGR's first place votes. He beat #2 pretty soundly in the Drinking to Scotland challenge (almost getting himself thrown off the flight), and he's the creator of the premier package, which is the best hangover cure in BGR's opinion. He’s the drinking equivalent of Adam Scott’s golf swing – no flaws. Bank Roll: Check; Drinking Ability: Check; Availability: Check; Desire: Check. Undefeated in golf Boozing to this day.
Harambe Lives


And that rounds out our 2017-2018 BGR Power Ranking. Keep in mind, these rankings are a snap shot of this current moment in time. If you feel under represented or that you have been unfairly judged, we encourage you to step up to the bar and get after it before next year's release. Until next time happy boozing.

21 comments:

  1. Great stuff here. While I’m happy with my ranking, I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get a ballot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. These are power rankings. It’s kind of like the official CFP rankings. We will certainly offer anyone a ballot if they want to be a part of the AP poll, though.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Similar to the blogs other rankings or matchups posts, I think we encourage feedback including your own ranking if you see fit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree with Faz... Though I love this write-up, I would have loved to cast a vote. I have opinions. The top 4 are spot on though! Good stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Top 4 are spot on though? What do you have against #5? Good work! I enjoy the BGR, it really helps me get through reading about Chandlers course landscaping tips. Breath of fresh air.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Read the post last night...woke up still laughing about the sand hill crane comment. How have I never made this connection before? Uncanny.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I concur with this assessment. Once they start selling seagram's escapes particularly coco coladas I'll join in. Pretty sure that will still keep me in last maybe even removed from the list.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My poor #content. Posted with images that Google killed, and then cannibalized by John's better #content. RIP landscaping tips.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I was looking forward to landscaping tips.

    ReplyDelete
  10. They're back now with fixed graphics. I think. Collecting the digital booze sweat from Darren's mention in the post above.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I’m now more motivated than ever to make a return to DPT Golf. Until then I will dream of where and when I will arrive on the Boozer rankings. Great new content. In other news, I’m challenging Jess to a DPT lurker trivia challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You'd win. You think I care about landscaping tips? Hard pass on those posts (although I did play with the slide-y thing - once it was working). That's why I requested content more my speed. I like to think that I'd crack the top 10 of this list.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sandhill cranes care about landscaping and grass...

    ReplyDelete
  14. For every sandhill crane you see on course I’ve planted 2 more robotic ones with cameras to following you guys around the course. Something I learned by watching Ace Ventura Pet Detective 2. However, I have yet to find a way to fit myself inside a sandhill crane (please refrain from animal sex jokes those of you who know my West Virginia heritage).

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jess would absolutely make the top ten....requesting Red Headed Sluts as shot of choice immediately puts you there. My LOL moment occurred at “tree in the morning” haha love the BGR

    ReplyDelete
  16. I just changed chandlers name in my phone to sand hill crane, love it

    ReplyDelete
  17. I suppose that I'm okay with this ranking since it is the golf boozer rankings. I'd expect to be top 3 if this related to real life. John told me it doesn't count if I'm still drunk from the night before for the front 9.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Booze Golf IS life, Robbie. You’re only living at around 50% without it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Mr. Unlucky 13 failed to explain that I suggested an elite golf boozer would take that momentum, from the night before, into the front nine with at the very least a "get hard" or sixer of light beers. Its as if no one else shows up hung over on Saturdays. I invite you to start the World Boozer's Review and see if any of us crack the top billion. Have you seen a Russian or Australian drink...mind bottling.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Easy #1 and deuce... I said I concur. Maybe this will spark my competitive edge and I move up in the power ranking to the top 10 in the next two events. Maybe not...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Well, if your golf game improves as a result, you will know who to thank...wait, maybe not..Big John or Buchert for BGR idea or both in addition to JW for ranking you and sparking your motivation?

    ReplyDelete