Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 10 - Hernando Oaks

Hopefully the start of the 2019 season reminded everyone just how much they suck at golf (except for Dave, he’s good). Luckily, the BGR is here to remind everyone that the most important aspect of golf is not your score; it’s the opportunity to partake in some socially acceptable day drinking. While it was a little cold when we teed off, the day turned out to be beautiful. Hernando Oaks doesn’t get any extra credit for the fact that mother nature gave us perfect drinking weather, but it certainly was enjoyable out there.

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning

A simple question to the bartender at 9:15 am regarding when they could start serving alcohol led to a 9:16 am purchase of a six-pack of PBR Tall Boys for $15.00. Four extra ounces times six beers equals another two beers!!!! That’s a deal that the BGR can’t pass up no matter what time of day it is. Some folks opted for the delicious taste of the King of Beers instead of the extra quantity, however. The BGR endorses both strategies. It helps to have some beers ready to go when you haven’t played a round of golf since September. You can’t always control whether you’re going to have a good or bad round, but you can control whether you’re going to have a good time.

On-course Service

Unfortunately, there was no cart-person to serve golfers on the course. If you bought the six-pack special mentioned above, you were given a plastic bag that they filled with ice to keep your beers cold. It fit right in with the $28 greens fee and the fact that they have two trailers instead of a clubhouse. However, not everyone has the forethought to purchase a six pack of beer at 9:16 am before teeing off. Having to wait until you make the turn to get some alcohol when your round has already gone into the toilet really sucks. As much as the BGR loves that unpretentious, homely, trailer-park feel that Hernando Oaks is rocking, they have to be docked for not having on-course booze readily available.

Pro Tip - Pack a small cooler in your golf bag for courses that only offer plastic bags and ice.

Thrifty Boozing

The beer specials were about as good as you’re ever going to find on a golf course. For beer, it’s actually even cheaper than Countryway. Let that soak in for a second... The 2 for $5 draft beer special inside was also a great deal.

Succinctly listed specials available all day.

We don’t know what goes in a Melonball shot or whether $6 is a good price, but we're pretty sure Big John got fleeced on that one. Note that carts were easily allowed in the parking lot for those extra thrifty Boozers.

Official review of the Melonball: not worth it.

Clubhouse

Slightly extra credit for a decent deck, perhaps.

This paragraph actually needs to be renamed “Trailer” for Hernando Oaks instead of Clubhouse. To their credit, Hernando Oaks seems to be fully aware of the fact that they are serving food and drinks out of a trailer and have set their prices accordingly. Unfortunately, the liquor selections were awful and draft beer had the bare minimum. The selection reminded us of a college bar that you only go to because they’ll accept your fake ID. Really a missed opportunity to not have Natural Light on tap. Would have been great for all the folks who had to purchase pitchers for poor golfing on the day.

So many delicious pitchers of beer, most already gone.

Overall

Hernando Oaks is a Good Ole Boys type of boozing course. There’s nothing fancy, but they do have beer and they’re willing to sell it to you early in the morning at a fair and reasonable price. While at the clubhouse, we were thinking they deserved 4 Beers out of a 6 Pack for their rating. After reflection, however, we think that's mostly because we had the foresight to ask about cart girls and beer availability before the round. This is a BGR of the people, and not just the Boozer All-Stars. On-course booze service is a requirement to reach a 4 Beer rating, and we're not going to be dealing in half beers, so Hernando Oaks receives only 3 ice cold beers out of the 6-pack Special.

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