Hello DPT Memorial Participants.
We'll assume the rumors are true that people were SO upset with me abandoning the tee box announcements last Memorial Tournament that I've been reassigned to last group going out. Thanks in advance to Irish Dave "falling on the sword" and being ok with this. If only Tampa Bay Brewing Company brewed ciders I'd have a case for you in our cart come Sunday.
So last memorial tournament I announced the pairings on the blog "Ivor Robson Style" which received luke warm reviews and members suggested it would be way more entertaining if I abandon any form of golf etiquette and instead dish out some hate. So given the democratic state of this league the people have spoken. So I now present you with SUNday SUNDay SUNDAY's (Pre)Announcement of Pairings complete with some Gorechate:
"Lads and Lassie, Welcome to the 2019 Semi-Annual Memorial Tournament!"
Starting Tee Position A we have:
Danny "I've broken 100 twice and this includes a 99 here at Countryway" MacLean
Brendan "Hold my newborn, I have a (now legal) double chip to take" Donoghue
Darren "Who has smokes, pills, and/or alcohol they can spare?" Broom
and Chandler "I'll accuse others of sandbagging so hopefully they won't notice my 2 stroke increase (18 percent) in just one months time" Brown
In Tee Position B we have:
Brian "My wife believes this is a men's only league" Buchert
Robert err Reideo "I arrive late and leave early cause I gotta beat the traffic" Reid
Casey "I moved North but my recent play is going South" Rease
and Robbie "Call me Gumby now with this new spine" Wilson
In Tee Position C we have:
Geoff "My entire wardrobe is Sell My Home Tampa shirts in size smedium" Leighly
Adam "Gasparilla is over when I say its over!" Lynch
Mike "Anyone wanna hear my shot by shot replay of my round? No? I'll tell you anyways" Hauch
and Chris "I'd rather streak naked than buy off-brand clothes on a clearance rack" Fazioli
Teeing off in Position D we have:
Gary "When can I start asking for the Handicap Flag for my cart cause of my poor vision?" Brown
Mike "I stand over my ball so long I play at the same pace as a foursome" Oostenbrink
Katie "Why haven't their been billboards put up yet announcing that I have a boyfriend?" Austin
And John "I've lost LB's but I've also lost my golf game" Webermeier
And in the Final Position E we have Dave "I went to India in search of enlightenment and am immediately tested with this pairing?!" Harrington
and finally Mike "All these jokes of others hopefully deflect from what my golf game really is" Gorecki
Well there you have have it. Looking forward to another successful tournament. Be sure to come see me for your "liquid courage" before your round commences! GorecHate Out!
Oh man, this is great GorecHate. Love it. A little disappointed I didn’t get a shout out like “sitting out because back to back 109’s have made him quit golf (again)” or “probably not playing becaus he broke all his clubs. Maybe he should go into India?” Either way, I’m sure you’d have skipped those and gone for a fat joke. Love the content anyway.
ReplyDelete*back to back 110s
ReplyDeleteNot bad, but why on the blog and not on the first tee?
ReplyDeleteBecause his aspergers doesn’t allow it.
ReplyDeleteActually, I bet he reads this post word for word this morning on the tee.
ReplyDelete