BGR After-Party

Are you upset about an 8:30 tee time? Wondering what your day is going to be like once we finish before noon? The BGR has you covered! Here at the BGR we love ourselves some Countryway and the fun doesn't have to stop just because Gorecki selfishly booked an early tee time. Once the round is over the party moves to 11835 Lancashire Drive. Yeah that's my house just around the corner. Gonna fire up the Big Green Egg, enjoy some post round beverages, cool off in the pool, and turn on some pool side golf! Also gonna celebrate a BGR brother from another mother's B-day as Robert Pickett joins us on the links. We take drinking seriously at the BGR, but when it comes to booze sponsorship Robert is the "guy"! He slings hooch for a living and so the party is gonna be rocking with an abundance of Molson Coors products! And if you are wondering if the photo below is just me affiliating pool fun and golf and that may or may not be a thing, I have a floating green we can chip on! Come one, come all, bring your significant other. Just tell me ahead of time so I can make sure you get fed.

Summer 2019 Official Memorial Tournament Announcements

Well Hello DPT Memorial Participants. And welcome to the TRUE tradition unlike any other. That's right, the official GorecHate Pairings Announcement to this season's Memorial Tournament.

A small field this time which makes me debate is it due to the calendar reshuffling cause of the Pinehurst Trips? Or that the event now falls the week before July 4th? Or is the purse not lucrative enough? Let me remind you the winner does receive a proud (plastic so Darren can't dent it) trophy to display as well as 4 pack of craft beer from the official beverage sponsor Tampa Bay Brewing Company. AND we now give coveted Countryway merchandise to the DFL recipient. A prestigious award Big John enjoyed so much he continued to wear his "dunce cap" for many rounds thereafter....

Hey Lord Stanley, Hold My Beer. On second thought, nevermind.... 

Spring 2019 Memorial Champion. (Did he golf in those shoes?)

Spring 2019 DFL (Non)Champion

So without further ado, I now present you with Sunday's GorecHate Announcement of Pairings: 

"Lads and Lassie, Welcome to the 2019 Summer Memorial Tournament!"

Starting Tee Position A we have:

Gary "Why am I trying to win this league when that'll only mean I have to spend more time with my son at the Champions Dinner and continue to ask myself where did I go wrong raising him?" Brown

Mike "My pre-swing routine at Pinehurst will now include "Please don't hit anyone or I'm never going to hear the end of it"" Gorecki 

Casey "What do you mean I don't socialize outside of league play? You all met my wife once for a whole 30 min at Countryside's Clubhouse!" Rease

In Tee Position B we have:

Mike "I should be forgiven for ignoring registration deadlines and tee time starts (Hangover Event) because I brought that cool neighbor of mine out to the hangover bar. Right??" Oostenbrink

Troy "Did you all even notice I moved away for almost 2 yrs and am now back? No? Well I bet you noticed my 1st place finish in a major last week!" Najour

John "I took a page from Ho's book and allegedly shoot lower scores when I'm not playing with you degenerates" Webermeier

In Tee Position C we have:

Chandler "I hope Irish Dave doesn't take notice that I assigned Gorecki and I to the "super secret quite rapture house" so I can get drunk and nibble on his ear lobes again" Brown

Chris "I'm single and ready to mingle! And by mingle I mean be a third wheel and accrue loyalty rewards points at Hotel Brown" Fazioli

Darren "I hate countryway and Par3 tourneys cause I don't want to be home way before my curfew" Broom

In Tee Position D we have:
Geoff "If only I could take my range practice results and cocky confidence to the course I might actually end this winless streak, just don't have a gallery on the final holes!" Leighly

Mike "My personalized cart bag is white so you can't see the creamy DNA stains" Hauch

Brendan "I'm married with an infant kid now, I'm going to pretend this wrist injury is from golf but its really "over use from self-abuse"" Donoghue

And Katie "Committing to play golf with this league is like my facebook relationship status: "It's Complicated"" Austin

Hope you enjoyed. Remember to bring a small cooler with ice so you can load up with some TBBC beers. Perhaps even shot-gun one as we all see if you can hit the green on #1!  

Memorial - Field Update

Tee time is 8:36am. See you there. It'll be soggy.

Rapture Housing

Booked a 3rd house today, so we should have ample room to spread out and relax when we're not on the town in the awesome city of North Port.

The houses have various degrees of "rules" and liability. Apparently people in North Port rent homes and trash them? One guy wouldn't even rent to me because I was a Florida resident. He then apologized upon seeing my previous reviews (and profile picture - I'm pretty sexy), but still didn't offer to rescind his denial.

This most recent house is requiring me to sign a bunch of paperwork, and provide the four names of those staying on property. Audio and video in the front and back are constantly monitored by RING (for safety, allegedly). ONLY four people allowed to be there, one of which must be the person who booked the property. So those staying at the super secret quiet house are the following old men: Chandler, Gary, Reid, Gorecki.

Everyone else will get their room assignments closer to the date. I need to make sure we don't create a situation where John breaks things, Geoff steals wallets, and Katie gets assaulted by those who clearly can't handle being around women (one reason I put Gorecki in the "secret house").

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TOTAL cost for the weekend should be about $275 for 3 nights and 3 rounds, not counting the $50 for gambling payouts. However, I still have one more course to book so I'm not collecting money yet.

If anyone gets bored, feel free to look up restaurants and bars in North Port where we won't get shot or stabbed.

DPT Championship - Summer 2019 Recap

Not much for me to recap since I wasn't there. But unlike the BGR (R.I.P) -  I still post that sweet, sweet #content with what little I know:

The course played incredibly easy for some reason. I'm told it wasn't cartpath only, which is a surprise. I can only imagine most of you cheated and did lift-clean-and-place all over the course, instead of just in the fairways like our rules state.

This is the first time I've ever seen ALL rounds accepted by each player's handicap. Even DFL Moostie had a differential in the lowest 10 of his last 20.

Casey had a 6-par train on the back nine to get his share of the victory. Troy limited the blow-ups and rode a high handicap to the winner's circle. Looks like Gary should have joined them but his double on the 13th ruined his hopes and dreams. Faz and Reid were also close, but they each needed two birdies to make up for the inevitable bad holes.

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Gary is now at the top of the standings, and controlling his own destiny. Buchert continues to take time off and somehow maintain an excellent chance of winning the Cup. NINE different winners in six events has bunched the leader board, with everyone still mathematically alive.

We are also officially at DEFCON 3 - ROUND HOUSE, as Gorecki is within striking distance of totally obliterating the Champions Dinner. If anyone in the top tier actually wants to win the Cup, they're going to have to start acting like a competitor on Sunday. Make Tragic Mike Putt Again.

Last season I got Darren to cheer for me during the entire final round in order to throw Reid off his game. Worked like a charm. Thanks, DB!

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Gorecki booked the Countryway round this Sunday, and as always he selfishly booked earlier than instructed. He's about to get fired from his unofficial position.

Anyway, we tee off at 8:30am for around $16. If you're late for your tee time you'll be DQ'd. Any issues with the early start should be directed at Gorecki AND your local Board Member.

Everyone is on BLUE. Katie is on WHITE, per her request last season.

Once again we have ???s the week of the event. On THURSDAY I'll be calling and cancelling the earliest tee times, giving us 12 spots. Danny and Tall Mike need to change their status before then to stay in the field.

The Memorial - Summer 2019 Info

I really tried to get us on a different course this season, however all the rain has completely washed out the odd and somewhat challenging executive course at Seven Springs. There are allegedly a couple of good executive courses on the private Timber Pines property... but we've been told we 100% can't get on there unless we go through a "full member" at Southern Hills (Gary does not have this status but we're going to attempt in the future).

Therefore, due to lack of other options, we're back at Countryway on June 30th. 8:36am. $15

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We have had some proposals that the league should consider and discuss with your nearest Board representative. These exact sentiments pop up every couple of years, and are immediately squashed by our Dear Leader. But we're somewhat more democratic now, except when it comes to changing the By-Laws.

• Darren wants to get rid of The Memorial tournament. He feels playing executive courses is a waste of a day. Full course or nothing for this guy. He's not saying to rename or re-brand the event... just only book "normal" par 72 layouts.
• Dear Leader's Take: We play 8 "normal" courses per season. The idea of The Memorial was to challenge your short game, and have a round where you could rack up a bunch of greenies. It's also a very quick day, which is nice once in awhile. Darren's disdain for short courses confuses me, since it totally fits his game.

• Gorecki wants to only book "really nice" courses for all of our 18 league events each calendar year. He thinks that money is not an issue for anyone in the Club, and people can just skip events if they are strapped for cash. Gorecki is obsessed with another league in the area, which he refuses to join due to them forcing higher handicaps to play from 6,400+ yards. We've historically averaged $45 per event, whereas this other league averages $65+ per event, depending on the season.
• Dear Leader's Take: Gorecki is a wannabe elitist. The league he obsesses over doesn't play a large variety of courses. They also only play 13 events per year, in a season that spans 5 months. How many "really nice" courses are within an hours drive of Tampa? You'd be looking at a subjective list of 20 places, most of which are in Orlando and Bradenton. Also, many of those cost $120+ in the winter. We already refuse to book courses that have fallen in disrepair. But to suggest we should only focus on the "top tier," ignoring other playable tracks closer to home, is EVERYTHING wrong with golf in America. Our Club should support all local establishments that have "decent" conditions. If playing Ritz-Carlton makes you feel better about yourself because it's "private" and "expensive," then you're using golf as crutch for your personal insecurities.

Call your local representatives and let them know how you feel! #getinvolved

Pinehurst Preview

A brief preview of our trip to Pinehurst next month.

DPT Championship - Summer 2019 Info

VERY small field this week, which is great news for those near the top of the leader board. Or those attempting to break their current losing streak.

10am at Southern Hills on Sunday. Price is $45 plus tax, which makes me think the greens could be punched. If not... it's the best damn deal in the area (thanks, Gary).

We are FULL with 12 spots. There's a chance one of the members might have to bail, so if Brendan or Danny decide they want in, they should stay tuned on this blog for updates.

I'll be out of town so the other four Board members are in charge. Just make sure the app is correct, and someone text me who had greenies, long drive (#16), and whatnot in each group.

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After this week we have the Memorial, hopefully at a course we've never played. Then we're off for a month for vacation.

Based on RSVPs, Robbie and Katie won't qualify for the final week (they can still attend and play, however)... with Buchert cutting it close. Although, Buchert might end up qualifying due to points earned anyway.


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The Rapture will be upon us soon. I'm still looking for one more house, but we have 2 of the 3 courses booked. Might actually get the total cost down under $300 (3 nights, 3 rounds).

Losing Streaks

Because I'd really like someone to beat my streak of 61 tournaments without a win, and I'm the only one that cares even a little bit about it, I went through and tabulated everyone's current losing streak. The last two weeks have seen the longest active streak end and the second and third longest active streaks end on consecutive weeks. Before they're all gone, I wanted to list them from Gorecki and Dave on down to... (not gonna spoil it)

0 Tournaments without a win:

• Dave - Dave was on a 17 tournament losing streak before tying for first on Sunday. Dave will never go on the losing streak I'm hoping to one day see because he's simply too good at golf. The ability to put up a 75 will always give him an advantage on otherwise difficult courses even with some folks getting 30+ strokes out there.
• Gorecki - Speaking of getting 30+ strokes out there, Gorecki took full advantage of his 31 strokes and tied Dave for the championship on Sunday. After having not won his previous 20 tournaments, including a stretch of golf only superseded in it's awfulness by Big John's bad stretches, he got the monkey off his back at Match Play. We know he can put up low 90's scores (even if some of those in his recorded history are a bit suspect), and when you can do that and have a handicap that high, he's due to win occasionally.

Match Play - Summer 2019 Recap

Cypress Creek did not destroy the field. Scores were pretty bunched up, except for two outliers: Dave and Gorecki.

The Irishman played one of his best rounds in league history, recording a 75 (gross) from the daunting Blue Tees. His 35 on the back is beyond impressive, chasing down Old Man Gorecki with a birdie on the final hole to tie. Apparently he almost eagled it.

Meanwhile, the Steel Wool Sandbagger used his mind-numbing 31 strokes, along with a fortuitous comfortable pairing and egregious gimmie putts, to slap his way around the tight and treacherous layout. Not sure the last time he had nothing worse than a double-bogey on the card.

Most of us thought the conditions were good. Greens were a little bumpy due to recent punching, but it's that time of year so get used to it. All around, a nice (and fast) day at The Creek without a drop of rain.

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Match Play Results:

Gary shot the Moose 4 & 2.

Darren exorcised the Moose's ghost 4 & 2.

Adam sank a 10 foot bogey putt on 17 to stay alive and ultimately tie Chandler.

Ho ejected early, and often, to lose to Fake Chandler 4 & 2.

Gorecki gave Casey a thigh rash, 5 & 3.

Fake Casey extinguished Troy's cigarettes, 2 & 1.

Reid culturally appropriated Geoff, 4 & 2.

And Faz forgot his potato mandoline, losing 5 & 3 to Dave.



For those curious... Gorecki would have beat Dave 2 & 1 if they played head-to-head.

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Buchert retains a slim lead in the standings, despite missing a bunch of events. It's another one of those seasons where wins are spread out. The top 5 guys would be first time Cup winners.

We're off this weekend, but return on June 23rd at Southern Hills. Only 12 people are IN, so Gary reserved three tee times. If the ???s want to play, I'd let it be known ASAP so he can possibly reserve another group. No promises.

Match Play - Summer 2019 Preview

Going to be a weird day at the Creek.

For one, we'll be dodging rain pretty much the entire time. Be sure plan accordingly.

Second, we have 13 players. So the bottom 3 guys are playing a one-sided match against people higher than them. We've used the one-sided match before, but never three times in one event. Technically, all that matters is the top guys are playing each other.

Finally, below is an old-ish scorecard from Cypress Creek. Not sure these distances are exact anymore, but at least all the tees exist. We'll be on WHITE, with Dave on BLUE. If you want to move back, let me know. Or move up. Anything goes.

Also, we'll be using the current scorecard hole-by-hole handicaps for matches (at 80% allowance). Online sheet should be updated shortly.

Reminder:
The stroke play tournament is still going on. So even if someone you're NOT playing against tells you a putt is no-good... then you need to putt it. 

Boozer's Golf Review Vol. 20 - World Woods Golf Club

As we continue through this season of sweltering heat and rounding right into rain delay season, remember to keep your cart stocked with ice cold beers. Nothing worse than hearing a siren and being surrounded by lightning at the farthest point on the course from the clubhouse than not having beer for the wait. Best to keep it accessible to the interior of the cart as well, so use the basket for it's intended purpose of storing cold snacks instead of keeping shoes or clubhead covers back there.

We hope everyone enjoyed the BGR's signature event, The Hangover Invitational. Most of the competitors made it to the bar and our league's unofficial 4th major was fun for all despite no pitchers being purchased. The course was great and the deal was fantastic, but how was the boozing? Onward to the review, which I'm surprised hasn't already been done due to the frequency we play up there.

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning

Hernando County is typically friendly to morning boozing, and since our club plays tournaments on Sundays we tend to not mind the drive up there. Beer was for sale in the clubhouse, but despite signage that insinuated rum and cokes and vodka screwdrivers, there was no liquor. Bad wine stand-ins on hangover events is entirely unacceptable.

Thrifty boozing conditions

Ideally a course will allow you to take the cart to your car so you can pack up and get ready, but World Woods does not. They have a bag drop up front with an employee manning the station who puts your clubs on the cart and supplies range balls if purchased. While no coolers were reported denied, it's still best to pre-pack your booze in your golf bag. We also recommend a soft cooler that will fit in your bag to fill up with ice and your beer even if you plan on purchasing it from the clubhouse or the cart girl.

On course service

We recognized the cart lady from previous trips to World Woods, but didn't develop any strong opinions until this trip. We were playing on Pine Barrens while a FSGA event was taking place on Rolling Oaks. This should have been great for our group because the cart lady only had 18 holes to work instead of 36. Alas, we found service to be poor with her declining to take a credit card as payment because she didn't want to go back to the clubhouse to run it. HER JOB IS TO SELL US BEER! Beyond that, the lack of liquor on the cart was expected after the clubhouse experience, but still disappointing. 6 packs of 12 oz domestics were $20 ($0.28/oz), tall boys were $5 each ($0.31/oz) and Rolling Rock tall boys were on special for 2 for $6 ($0.19/oz). Prices were pretty reasonable for a course, but nothing special. Don't expect them to stay cold long, though, because the cooler offering was only the plastic bag with ice that will not only leak water all over everything, but it will allow your beer to heat up faster than Chernobyl in 1986. Often with booze carts, the best ability is availability and she not only ran out of Budweiser despite our group warning her of our preferences, she ran entirely out of beer at one point. She might as well have allowed a nuclear reactor to run out of control and then inserted graphite-tipped boron rods in an attempt to slow down the reaction. This was a failure of epic proportions.

Photographic analogy to represent cart service at World Woods on Sunday

Pissability

Pretty good, but useless if you can't get beer or liquor. It should be noted that there are several bathrooms around the course in case an emergency strikes, so take a good look at your surroundings before driving three holes away to use the facilities.

Clubhouse experience

World Woods is perhaps the best example of a great golf course not needing a good clubhouse to be high in golf rankings, but that doesn't matter much to the BGR. We aren't sure if it's a Hernando County thing or just coincidence, but between the double-wide with the deck at Hernando Oaks and the double-wide feel at World Woods, we sense a theme. Serviced by the poor man's Sysco truck, the food consisted of probably wilted salads, aged hot dogs, frozen burgers, and thickly breaded chicken tenders. We've hit on the liquor already, but to top it off they serve Pepsi products. We get that you don't want to sell us liquor (having apparently given up their liquor license sometime in the past few years), but you don't even want us to enjoy the liquor we have in our bags. Jack and Pepsi sucks.

Your typical Hernando County clubhouse experience.

Overall

World Woods has 36 of the best holes of golf in our general region (and beyond, really), and that's the only reason to go play up there. If you want to booze, you need to come prepared and be an upper-tier thrifty and independent boozer. If you're rolling out of bed hungover expecting to be bailed out by service and your credit card, it's gonna be a long summer Sunday for you. World Woods is awarded 1 warm, skunky beer.

This beer is terrible, and so is World Woods's BGR ranking.

Hangover Invitational - Summer 2019 Recap

Best way to recover from a long night at the bar, is by sweating out all the booze in 94 degree Florida heat.

Seventeen Club members "attended" the party on Saturday, with most of us making it to 1am at Repeal 18. Lots of laughs, and hugs, were had by all. Dave was by far the most indulged, taking his DGAF energy to a new level at Irish 31. Vape laws be damned.

Anyway, World Woods was in good shape, and definitely the best value of the year. Scores were very bunched with nobody owing any new pitchers after the round. Danny was easily going to walk away with the victory, shooting -7 (net) on the front nine. But he gave back all those shots, following his stellar 44 with a stinky 57.

His loss was Moostie's gain. Despite showing up late, causing his group to wait on him, and getting involved in a ball-mix-up controversy... he played great all day and won by three strokes.

Buchert, who must have been quite refreshed in the morning, continued his excellent play and finished solo-2nd. While he's currently at the top of the season standings, he's also going on ice for awhile. This very well could be one of the tightest seasons in league history.

Remember, you need to play in 4 events BEFORE the final week, in order to play in that week for points and money. Unlike NASCAR, we don't let people who are out of the race wreck those who are coming down the stretch. We unfortunately may have a couple of members who won't qualify for that outing.

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Coming up this week is Match Play at Cypress Creek. We haven't played here since Spring of 2015, where we held the DPT Masters. It was absolute carnage.

Big John shot a double-pitcher 115. Chris Guest was three strokes away from his own double-pitcher, only to then have Gary make him buy an expensive Sam Adams pitcher. Dave shot a 101 (gross) and vowed never to play the course again after carding double-par max on the final three holes. It was amazing to watch.

We haven't returned because their newly re-shaped (for the better) greens were as hard as concrete. This is normal for new greens, and I'm happy to report they are no longer in that condition. The course has also removed a lot of trees, which was DEFINITELY needed. But I'd say they still didn't remove enough.

We have 13 members signed up, which is the worst number possible for Match Play. The bottom three guys will probably have one-sided matches against the top guys, as we have done in the past. Stay tuned and I'll figure it out.

9:30am tee time. $49ish. I'll post the scorecard soon.

Hangover Invitational - 2019 Summer Preview

Saturday night we'll begin at Irish 31 in Westchase at 8pm. Eventually we'll head over to Repeal 18.

Come hang out and bring your WAGs or friends. This is our season party. Based on your gross scoring averages (70% of you cant break 90), it would be really depressing to think you're only in the Club for the golf. Not to mention — The Hangover helps satisfy the USGA's "Group Cohesion/Activities" requirement.

So... come hang out.

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World Woods (Pine Barrens) on Sunday at 10:30am. Just like when we played the Rapture up there in 2015, the base tees will be set on the WHITES. It's short, but it's difficult. Keep in mind it's a par 71, so add 150-175 to the total distance on the card to get an adjusted number.

If you want to move back, let me know ASAP.

Handicaps and pairings will be posted shortly. They might change slightly if/when Tall Mike figures out his life. Group rate is allegedly $30, and it's booked under "Gorecki." Range balls NOT included. Don't let them over-charge you, and if you have any issues be sure to yell at Mike.

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Speaking of... WAY too many "???s" for Match Play (Week 5). I consider those OUT, so when I call to book the round I'd only be reserving 12 spots at the moment. Match Play is a difficult week to play since it works best if we have exactly a multiple of 4.

Update your RSVPs!

Hangover Invitational - Booked

Last week at Southern Dunes, Brendan was thinking about how nice the course was, and came to a realization based on the $70 greens-fee.

“We are about to play a bunch of dumps, right?” he asked.

Yes. I was going to take you all to a cheaper course for the Hangover. I’m not sure if Gorecki could feel the winds of value on the Timber Greens... but he took it upon himself to call World Woods.

They’re getting 20 of us on Pine Barrens at 10:30am for $30. Range balls not included.

We’ve never played PB in regular league Stroke Play.

See you up there.