Bito's commentary in Italics. Lies are underlined. Chandler drowns in Bosom Rain
1 - Bito wakes up from his nightly slumber with
an itch on his ass that he can't scratch. He feels disrespected.
My original intent had nothing to
do with any sort of Conjecture Cup. I merely inquired about making the season
tournament a longer ordeal, lasting from Friday – Sunday. I wanted to do this because Heather is going
out of town and I want to make the most of it.
Bito: What is stopping us from doing an individual
golf tourney? or what are the challenges?
Chandler: your astronomical handicap, other than
that... nothing.
Bito: im not the worst in the league
Chandler:
thats untested
Right about now, Conjecture is
cumming into the proverbial vagina of Cup
Bito: that is why I want to have an individual
tourney. i want to put this nonsense to bed
Conception
2- So he amends his
original statement and eventually proclaims he could beat four people in our
league with no handicaps.
Bito: alright
one day event
all ten people
straight up
i'd finish 8th or higher
my goal would be 6th.
$25 (had to lower since you think it will get
so much action)
I guaranteed that I would finish 8th or higher with a
goal of 6th. Not a proclamation of 6th, a goal. As for
the coming down on the original $50 bet, Chandler had me convinced that
everyone would take that. I thought maybe 4 or 5 people would take a $50. So I
lowered it in case all 10 people took it. But it looks like I was closer to
being correct about the amount of takers. Almost NO action! Everyone has excuses!
Everyone has conjectures!
3- On the first tee box, Bito asks Geoff how many strokes were
being given... which is silly since the entire conjecture is that Bito isn't
the worst golfer. So why would he get strokes? He then suggests they should
play for $5 instead of $25, but ultimately agrees to $10.
Here is what
really transpired for people who want to read a 30 second fact filled synopsis. If you are like Geoff and need a painstakingly detailed recreation. Skip to the next paragraph.
Bito: Chandler, how much are we betting?
Chandler: Geoff and I are doing $5
Bito: That is it? Lets do $15.
Chandler: I feel bad, $5
Bito: Fine.
…
Bito: Geoff, how much are we
betting? $5?
Geoff: Straight up?
Bito: Do you *want* to give me
strokes?
Of course I am going to ask if he wants to give me strokes. I
would be stupid not to. This ISN'T The Conjecture Cup.
Geoff: No
Bito: $10
Geoff: Ok
Once again this isn’t the Conjecture Cup, why would anyone assume that I would bet $25?
______Are they really THAT different?______
Scene 1 - Chandler picks up Bito in golf cart. They discuss the upcoming round as they journey to the 1st tee box, where Geoff and Random Dude (Hence referred to as RD) are already standing, stretching, Geoff making racial jokes, etc.
Bito: Chandler, how much are we betting?
______Are they really THAT different?______
Here is what really transpired (In painstaking detail for Geoff)....
Scene 1 - Chandler picks up Bito in golf cart. They discuss the upcoming round as they journey to the 1st tee box, where Geoff and Random Dude (Hence referred to as RD) are already standing, stretching, Geoff making racial jokes, etc.
Bito: Chandler, how much are we betting?
Chandler: Geoff and I are doing $5
Bito: That is it? Lets do $15.
Chandler: I feel bad, $5
Bito: Fine.
Bito exits cart
Scene 2 - Geoff, RD, and Bito are now standing on the tee box.
Bito: Geoff, how much are we betting? $5?
Geoff: I thought you wanted to bet $25
Bito: No. I thought you were betting Chandler $5. So lets do that.
Not The Conjecture Cup
Geoff: Are we betting straight up?
Bito: Do you *want* to give me strokes?
Of course I am going to ask if he wants to give me strokes. I would be stupid not to. This ISN'T The Conjecture Cup.
Geoff: No, why would I give you strokes? You are 'better than me'. You should be giving me the strokes!
Bito: I dunno, just thought I would throw that out there.
Geoff: Are we betting or what?
Chandler: Why don't you split it and go $10?
Bito: Yeah that sounds good. Geoff, straight up for $10?
Geoff: Are we betting or what?
Chandler: Why don't you split it and go $10?
Bito: Yeah that sounds good. Geoff, straight up for $10?
Geoff: Ok
Once again this isn’t The Conjecture Cup, why would anyone assume that I would bet $25?
The original
Conjecture Cup offer still stands… But since it has been up for nearly a month
and only Geoff, Chandler, and Gomez, have actually agreed to it. One can only
assume that everyone else is too much of a pussy.
I like the way I tell it better.
ReplyDeleteBut it is about time you weighed in on the subject.
Bito, you're completely delusional. I specifically asked you if we were betting $25, then when you mentioned $5 I asked "what happened to $25?" and then you or Chandler mentioned $10 and it was settled at that.
ReplyDeleteAnd the conversation about strokes was you asking ME how many I was giving you. To which I replied "you say you're better than me, you should be giving me strokes". Then I said we could play straight up.
And as far as "this isn't the conjecture cup" goes; it pretty much was. No one else wanted to lock down a date other than me. So you get to keep saying you're better than anyone in the league you want, except for Chandler and myself. SO it's a win/win.
Yeah I was the one that eventually said: "why don't you guys split the difference and play for $10?"
ReplyDeleteAlthough, truly splitting the difference would be $15. But whatever.
Geoff
ReplyDelete- Edited for easy reading. Main points covered. Factual. Same ending.
- This is what I wrote, in synopsis form. Read it again.
- 3 people out of 11 isn't "pretty much was"
Hey now... I edited my content for the LOLz and you called it lies.
ReplyDeleteAlso... an 11 person tournament is a waste of time. There's no chance in Hell you can beat me, Justin, Gomez, Cong or Robb (with a working driver) straight up. So let's just remove those names off the list right now.
If we're trying to determine the validity of the conjecture, we only need the players Bito thinks he has a shot against. Which is why I suggested a 4-man tournament that the rest of us can film, analyze and mock in a video.
Playing an 11-man tournament with handicaps is what the DPT Tour is all about. And the WORST player in the league will have the same chance of winning as the BEST player. But that doesn't have anything to do with any conjectures.
The LOLz were very funny.
ReplyDeleteBut people believe it when their Overlord speaks/writes. They take it as fact.
What you wrote was like a coathanger all bent up for maximum uterine damage, I just wanted to straighten out a few parts to make it....more dignified.
Shiiiit. You don't need precision to get the job done...
ReplyDeleteYou can remove my name from that list too!
ReplyDeleteAnd I said "pretty much was" because that's the kind of turn outs we get, which is why we discontinued the team league... people don't want to show up. You losing to me is the closest you're going to get to your Conjecture Cup this year. I was just covering the main points.
Don't get me wrong i'd love to see the cup happen as much as anyone, I think there's a chance you might not even come in last.
But it will never happen, so our game was IT.
Bito's best bet is E-Flo after he spends all night drinking... or Gorecki after he spends all morning raking leaves off his driveway.
ReplyDelete