I feel like it's my duty to warn you all of something on Sunday. You may come in contact with a ghastly presence — somewhat of an apparition — that will try to convince you they are a Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan.
It will say it's rooting for their "home city," despite not living within the actual city limits.
It will claim to be a "fan," but unable to name three starters on defense.
It probably slept through most of the Bucs' regular season games, much like it did the Lightning's and Rays' recent Stanley Cup Playoff and World Series runs.
Do not interact with this creature. Do not share any joyful moments that might arise if the Bucs play well on Sunday. Exert that energy with those who have genuinely suffered while rooting for a dumpster fire the past 18 years.
Because the second that Tampa is no longer a contender... The Shapeshifter will revert to its true form:
"Udderly" terrifying.
Some of these images can never be unseen and will give me nightmares for months to come.
ReplyDeleteWe can’t just read the news that makes us feel good about life...
ReplyDeleteIs that really mike in a bikini? I agree with Ho for once
ReplyDeleteWouldn't he be just like 95% of the Buccaneer's fan base. I think in 2010 every home game was blacked out. The Bucs really have nothing but bandwagon fans. With that said, I am rooting for them but you won't ever catch me claiming they are my team. The BRONCOS, Packers, Steelers and The Washington Football team are the only teams to never have a blacked out game since the rule was instituted in 1972. If you ask me, referring to yourself as a "Bucs fan" implies that you are a shape shifter too.
ReplyDeleteAs a former season ticket holder... and attendee of Superbowl XXXVII... I'm totally calling myself a "fan."
ReplyDeleteThe Buccaneers did have TV blackouts from 2010-2012, but you also have to remember the number of actual Tampons is small. Hell... in our Club of 21 Members... I think we only have one. We're gonna need some of you to move back from whence you came.
For real though, did Mike actually wear the bikini or is that photoshopped? Hell of a job with photoshop if those aren't actual photos.
ReplyDeleteOh those are real photos. There's a lot of things about Mike that you don't want to know.
ReplyDeleteFormer season ticket holder. Team goes to shit and you stop buying season tickets...shifty...shape shifty in fact.
ReplyDeleteI fell on hard times. Couldn't afford to keep spending daddy's money on "sports."
ReplyDeleteI’ll shape shift when my hometown team drafts the worst possible quarterback from that shitty school that some of y’all went to. And once they get rid of him and sign the greatest quarterback of all time I’ll happily shape shifters right back. We could be starting a WR at QB for all I care, though, as long as that one shitty quarterback who tries to eat hit own hands isn’t on my team.
ReplyDeleteIf a Packer fan disguised as a Bucs fan is called a "Shapeshifter", would a Bucs fan be called a "Shipshaper" and a true Packer fan from Dairyland just be a "Shitshaper"? #punbetter
ReplyDelete