Week 4 - Recap

Summer 2020 #ContentWeek was a fun one. Thanks to all those who participated, especially Vladimir Robotnovich, who submitted Match Play picks despite his busy schedule running Putin's 2036 campaign.

In no particular order of importance, here's some shit I want to talk about:

The Picks
With seven participants, there were two pitcher losers in the confidence picks pool. The aforementioned Vlad didn't use confidence points, but Faz agreed to vouch for his picks in a 9 to 1 order. This proved to be a huge mistake, as Vlad finished 6th with only 9 points.

Brendan filled the DFL spot with a measly 6 points, only correctly picking Casey and Reid to win their match. His pitcher was purchased at Winghouse.

Gossip Golfers
I hear a lot of things throughout every tournament week. Some firsthand, some rumors... all nonsensical. If anything I report is lacking context or just totally incorrect, then I'd like to officially state that I don't see it as my duty to get the facts correct. This blog is open, and you can come on here and defend yourself, thus creating more #content.

- Reid let it be known that he hates when people tell him where he is on the leader board, especially when he's in contention. This was passionately echoed by Gorecki — a fact we've all known for years, and is regularly abused by Chandler (hey, that's me!). Most of us at the after-bar said the action of rattling an opponent with standings updates is acceptable (and hilarious) gamesmanship.

- Troy and Ho thought being paired with Tall Mike and Mike-Chunk in the final group was cruel and unusual punishment. Dear Leader has previously apologized, and stated it was a one-week thing due to the Match Play guests.

- Many of you had issues with the "facts" in the Pace of Play Power Rankings. I'd like to remind you the post was created by the BGR. Dear Leader is not a member of the BGR, despite his edits to the post (mostly for grammar). In the most recent (and only) Boozers Power Rankings, your Chairman was ranked lower than multiple people who regularly refuse to hang out after tournaments, and rarely show up to The Hangover Party. So it begs the question(s): how accurate are the proclamations of the BGR, in general? What are their motives? Who do they work for? Is Vlad one of them?

- Gorecki says Tall Mike didn't learn anything from those rankings, as he's still unacceptably slow. The most egregious report was him hunting for "at least 10 minutes" on the bank of the lake on #16 until he found his ball. They rest of the group apparently left him and went to the green. The story was corroborated by Ho, who added that a two-some was waiting the entire time behind them. Apparently Tall Mike plays at a "snails pace" when he's in contention, and only sped up once he choked away his chance of winning.

- Dave is apparently the chattiest guy on the course. But at least he doesn't play Geoff's "Devil Music" on his speaker.

- Katie allegedly questioned if the #content creators on this blog had "anything better to do." No, we don't, which is kinda the point. The after-bar was a lot of fun on Sunday because of all the shit-stirring we've been doing. I believe Dave's people call it "taking the piss." It's what friends do. It's also why kickball (where most of us met) was fun. This doesn't need to be a dead page that only shows you tournament information.

- Reid rolled up Darren and smoked him like Jamaica Kush. RIP, Darren.

The Golf
When it comes to carnage, Waterlefe did not disappoint. Half the Club was log-jammed at the top for awhile. Katie, Danny, Reid, Tall Mike, Ho... all looked like winners. Casey made the fewest mistakes down the stretch, and basically won the tournament with a clutch birdie on #17. I love seeing -2 as a winning score.

Great job by Reid to finish solo-2nd despite FOUR 4-putts.

The course itself was in excellent condition. While it's a favorite of mine, I realize it's low on the "fun" scale. But we should be tested like this once in awhile.

Pace of Play
Pace out there was terrible. Group A waited most of the day (not their fault), which caused the first three groups to finish in 4.5 hours. Group D was about a hole behind C. And Group E was 1.5 holes behind D. Shout-out to Brendan who was forced to sit there and wait for the last group to finish.

Unfortunately, due to the lack of improvements, those flagged as "slow golfers" will not be allowed to set the pace this week.

Props to the 19 (of 20) golfers who were on time and ready to go out a little early when the Starter asked us to. Going out early is normal. In fact, we should always expect (and hope for) that possibility. Especially since many of you get constant shit at home from your WAGs about being gone all day. You'd think going out early and playing fast would be a top priority.

This Week
We have our 2nd Major of the season. Gorecki — who rightfully gets more shit than anyone else — was kind enough to book us at Lakewood National's new Piper Course. Rate is $79 plus tax, but he's allegedly going to get that reduced. While none of us have ever played this course, it should be a high-handicapper field day. Probably why Gorecki selfishly booked it. He's trying to steal the season! Lock him up!

First tee time is 10:09am.

The Rapture
I hope to book houses and post Rapture info this week as well. Stay tuned, if you don't have anything better to do.

Match Play Picks

Have you been upset with the lack of sports gambling available since early March? Do you need to show everyone how well you know the golf games of your friends and fellow club members to prove your worth to loved ones? Or are you just bored and willing to buy a pitcher or drink a beer? If you said yes to those questions, or no, then I have great news for you!

Welcome back to everyone's favorite game, FBGC Match Play Picks! Here are the rules of the game: pick the golfer you think will win each match. Assign confidence points (more confidence points, the more likely you think that golfer will win) to each pick. Confidence points available are the whole numbers 1-9. The winners will be all of those people who don't lose. The number of losers will be determined by the numbers of entries, and the losers will be those with the lowest amount of confidence points won. Every foursome of entries will have a loser. If there are 5 entrants, we'd have to go off in two groups, so each group will have a loser in that sense. Each loser will owe a pitcher of beer that can be consumed by only the winners. Post your picks in the comments section before Group 1 tees off on Sunday. Adding funny commentary will make you more respected in the eyes of your peers. 

As is tradition, the BGR will make picks based solely on the BGR Power Rankings (which we've discovered are in dire need of updating). These picks represent only the opinions of the BGR Collective from 2018 and not the individual members. 

Dub v Geoff (5 strokes): BGR ranking difference: 14

Starting off with a blowout. Does Geoff (not even a real name according to Blogger) even booze on the course still? His best hope is Dub arriving unprepared for the course's probable poor BGR ranking (it's been a long time since we've played Waterlefe). Dub wins by a 6 pack. DUB (8)

Faz v Casey (4 strokes): BGR ranking difference: 11

Expect Faz to walk away with this one while Casey sips tea from the green championship cup he made for himself. I'd hate to see what kind of awful craft gifts he gives his wife after looking at the job he did with his Yeti. FAZ (7)

Probably what Casey got Mrs. Rease for Christmas last year.

Brendan v Danny (8 strokes. Only 8?): BGR ranking difference: 6

Our writeup definitely needs to be updated. Brendan now has the premier BGR accessory and there's no way he's losing to Danny on Sunday in match play. Danny had a tough stretch of pretending to catch the Rona, then celebrating not catching the Rona, and maybe then catching the Rona during his celebration. That indecision goes straight into the golf game, and not only will he hold up the course while deciding between Coors Light and Miller Lite, he's gonna put more shots into a hazard than Big John at the Philadelphia airport. Brendan wins going away. BRENDAN (6)

Gary (5 strokes) v Chandler: BGR ranking difference: 3

Gary is getting as many strokes as beers they'll probably combine to drink on the day. Weak booze golf matchup here, but they can't all be roses, I guess. Chandler will win with gypsy magic and probably kick Gary's ball in the water while his dad isn't watching. Not that he'd be able to see it happen anyway. CHANDLER (3)

Melberg v Adam (7 strokes, that's a lot): BGR ranking difference: N/A (just like Adam's beer)

In this battle of two unranked club members, the BGR has to respectfully go with the competitor that actually drinks alcohol. Sorry, Adam. Melberg wins late. MELBERG (1)

Katie (9 strokes) v Dave: BGR ranking difference: 6

Look for Katie to beat Dave and bounce back from a last place finish last week. Not going to say anything else about Katie because she apparently is very sensitive to internet "trolls" these days. Also not making tree jokes anymore because we need something new about Dave. Making fun of the way people talk has lost its luster. KATIE (5)

Darren v Reid: BGR ranking difference: 15

Holy crap is Darren overrated in the most recent power rankings. Dude can't walk down the street without breaking a bone and being out for four months, and we expect him to be able to have alcohol, swing a club, and not accidentally kill someone? Still, I guess we have to go with Darren to win this match against Reid, and with the most confidence points. Wish we'd have looked at these rankings earlier. DARREN (9)

Gorecki (8 strokes) v Tall Mike: BGR ranking difference: 4

Slow and steady has won the Club Championship 3 times, while slow and clanky is trying to parlay an early season win into the destruction of the Champions Dinner. These two are respected in booze golf circles for their preparedness and general joviality with the nectar of the gods. The round might take 6 hours, but it will be intriguing to see which one boozes the best to help their game. Expect Moostie to pull out a win in the end, though. MOOSTIE (4)

Ho v Troy (8 strokes): BGR ranking difference: N/A

Troy was on his extended vacation to Texas when the BGR last ranked our club members, so we have some liberty to do what we want here. While the golfer side of us kind of wants to take Troy and the 8 strokes, the BGR side insists we have to be honorable in our assessments. Ho wins from the forward tees after he and Troy decide to bail on the other Mikes after the 7th hole. HO (2)

Match Play Strokes

If the BGR gets a picks post going, these might be useful. Strokes someone is getting in their match are in parenthesis. These numbers could change if anyone changes tees last minute. If you're going to do so... better tell me before the weekend.

Of course, all this information is already on the blog on the event page.

Match-Ups

JW vs. Geoff (3)

Casey (4) vs. Faz

Brendan vs. Danny (8)

Gary (5) vs. Chandler

Melberg vs. Adam (7)

Katie (10) vs. Dave

Darren vs. Reid

Gorecki (8) vs. Tall Mike

Ho vs. Troy (7)

Group of Death - Brought to you by the BGR

There has long been talk of posting an "anonymous" poll and having everyone put together their "Group of Death." This idea has been repeatedly shot down as there were fears of feelings being hurt. At the BGR we acknowledge that at some point we may have to go into a program, and if we make it to Step 9 we will apologize for your hurt feelings at that point. For now we are going to go ahead and rain down some hellfire and damnation and see if a little social shaming might make a difference.

The official FBGC definition of "Group of Death" is the slowest foursome you could put together — or the three golfers you could be paired with that would make you consider pulling a last minute "Gorecki" and bail to avoid. We realize pace of play is not the only defining characteristic of most golfers, but it has a hell of an impact. We have defined 4 categories that determine a person/group's pace of play and scientifically assigned each of our Members a score of 1 (fastest) to 5 (slowest). Just like golf you want you want to have the lowest average score to be considered a speedy player in our book.

Before we dig into results, lets take a moment to define each of these categories:

Quality of Golf - This is purely based on your handicap. 5-10 is a 1, 10-15 a 2, etc. Some may argue this does not matter, but the fact is a bad golfer is simply slower (it's science). Based on this reasoning a 25+ handicapper can at best be a 2 which would put you in the top third of golfers in the Club.

Pre/Post Shot Dick Around Time - This is everything from the moment you get up to your ball until you are ready start your practice swings, and the time after the shot until you are ready to proceed. We took into account things like: how long it takes you to determine a distance and select a club (playing with your app, grabbing your laser, determining impact of wind, etc.), how long it takes you to read a putt, and what you do after the shot as far as throwing clubs, cleaning clubs, putting down sand, etc.

Time Over Ball - This is on a scale of 1 to Tall Mike. We are taking into account practice swings, time you actually stare at the ball once it is addressed, and all the other nonsense including partial pull backs, stepping off the ball to go to your safe place, and the dreaded complete restart of the process.

Situational Awareness - This is probably the most subjective of our scientific variables, but it has been analyzed closely. This is the catch-all for all other sins you might commit on the golf course to ruin the pace of play. We will have some specific examples for everyone but to give you a general feel of what we are talking about here are some of the most common offenses: four people in carts with no one getting ready even if you are waiting, searching for balls that are clearly long gone for excessive amounts of time, leaving someone with a cart or taking a walkabout when one of you needs a club, not helping playing partners look for balls, ball hawking when you are the slow group, knowing you are the slow group and not giving a shit... you get the picture. A big part of our situational awareness factor is not necessarily that you are slow, but that you slow the entire group.

We're not going to take a lot of time to pat the fast players on the back, but we will be sure to bring up all short comings for the bottom half of the list.

Rease - Would probably be most peoples pick as one of the fastest Club members. If he was just a better golfer, he would have a perfect score. He doesn't really take practice swings. He walks up to chips and hits them. If it doesn't work out, guess what, he goes and hits it again. We're not sure he knows how to read a green, so he tends to just shrug off the 3 putts. He did have an impressive club toss at Southern Hills, but that was the first we know to be reported.

Buchert - The only wild card here is if somehow "Weekend Buchert" makes it out of the cage. When that happens the situational awareness and the quality of golf can go out the window. He takes a little bit of time to analyze the shot and get the right club, but generally he just steps up and hits it once he has his weapon of choice.

Ho - This is what we would generally call a fast golfer. His biggest ding is the situational awareness factor. When you check into the HoTell, you either wait it out in the lobby or curtly demand to speak to a manager so you can proceed. Being more aware of what's going on around you so you're not interrupting your playing partners is generally considered helpful.

Melberg - We haven't had time to really form a strong opinion, but based on early reports, he is all about business on the course. We gave him above average ratings across the board on the intangibles, and will be sure to put him on blast should he be found wanting.

Faz - This is a man who loves using a rangefinder app, and can be known to pull a bit of grass to check the wind. When it comes to chip time, he needs a few extra practice swings (sometimes a few extra actual swings) and is fastidious about cleaning clubs and dropping sand into divots (a true purist!). We have no issues with any of this as he moves around the course in an overall above average pace. That is... despite the occasional tantrum involving club slams, tosses and Tourettes.

Big John - His fastest days are when he shoots over 100. He stops giving a shit about the score and just re-tees his 3rd drive, blasts it into the neighborhood again, and rides the hole out chugging a Bud Heavy. On his better days he takes some practice swings and grinds out some putts. John is quick to the teebox, but even quicker to finish a hole (while everyone else is still playing) so he can fill the foursomes drink order with the cart lady.

Chandler - While he does like to grind it out with the app, he tends to be quick to the tee box. His swing speed is so slow he rarely sends one offline far enough to require a search party. He admittedly takes too much time reading and standing over putts. But the worst thing he does to kill the pace of play is causing people to stop and contemplate whatever bullshit Gypsy luck they just witnessed.

Troy - There is probably no one on the list that is faster when it comes to addressing and hitting the ball. He's hurt by his handicap which has been dropping precipitously since joining league. On the situational awareness front we'll say he is rather excitable, which might be noticeable by Members with excellent hearing. Sometimes he is guilty of hitting a bad shot from 200 out and taking half his bag with him on the walk to the green which can leave a partner stranded with the cart.

JW - Ever since the anger management classes, his post shot routine has been toned down from a few snapped shafts a round to an "Oh come on!" He now has technology (a "laser") in the bag which has enabled him to simply pull up and go. He does like to mentally prepare himself for whatever might come off the club face, but we understand it is part of his process. He loses a point for situational awareness due to his constant need to visit the Cart Girl at every opportunity. It may not be directly his fault, but sometimes those girls are slower (mentally and physically) than Gary driving on the interstate. It's also good to note that JW seems to be drastically lowering his handicap, which will help him in the next version of these rankings.

Darren - Not a lot to say about the Baron. He definitely likes a practice swing, but nothing too out of the ordinary. His biggest detractor is he simply won't try and find his own distances. "Hey man, can you laser this?" is basically on repeat when you're playing with Darren. This slows him down in the current one-person-per-cart-era. He also received a slight downgrade to his situational awareness due to randomly driving off to find a bathroom at least once per round. It's especially painful when he doesn't know where the nearest bathroom is located (see: World Woods).

Brendan - His golf has been steadily improving so this initial ranking is better than had we evaluated a year ago. He has become the ultimate gadget-guy on the course with the papoose, a laser, a GPS app, an aptly named "tall boy" speaker, etc. Brendan stands over putts a bit longer than average and needs extra practice swings for his 6 iron chips, but he's never going to be the guy holding back your group.

Adam - Adam, Darren, and Brendan could all be lumped into the same commentary, but we want everyone to get a little spotlight. Adam's extracurriculars are probably what slow him up the most, but once again it's never egregious. Except for his toke-cough. We can't explain why he sounds like a middle-schooler who just tried the wacky tobacky for the first time. You may find yourself slowed just out of pure concern for his health.

Reid - The biggest thing hurting Reid are his walkabouts. Sometimes he just takes off without a club, forcing partners to negotiate their next shot (or multiple shots) before attempting to get Reid whatever he needs. Our definition of "situational awareness" first developed in Scotland when Reid would walk out in front of someone about to hit so he could scope out his next shot. John did officially remove him from his personal "Group of Death" after a pleasant round at Southern Hills, so expect Reid to improve in the next rankings. Reid also likes to hunt for balls beyond the USGA 3-minute limit. Not just his balls... but everyone's balls. We somewhat consider this a wash, since the time he slows the group trying to save himself a stroke is balanced out by the time he helps his equally optimistic partners.

Geoff - Geoff is hurt most by his permanent 23-ish handicap. There's not much to dwell on outside of his impressively consistent bad golf. He is one of the chattier folks on the course, but rarely does he interrupt another person's shot or hold anyone other than himself up. If you have to be paired with someone who is probably going to shoot 100+, Geoff is your guy.

Gary - Absolutely must review his app prior to any shot beyond a putt or a chip. And usually that app is giving him wrong numbers. Even if you give him a laser reading, he'll still pull his glasses to the end of his nose and stare at the screen for 30 seconds before he's ready to go. His situational awareness factor is directly related to his inability to track a ball in flight. It also doesn't help that he has zero idea where a ball goes based on the feel of the swing and contact of the clubface. Not a big deal if he's paired with players that help track and hunt, but unfortunately that is not generally the case in our Club. Long story short... Gary is hurt by all of us.

Dave - He's the absolute worst about being ready when it's his turn. He often plays the back tees by himself and he needs about 5 minutes at any tee box before he is ready to hit. He is usually snacking on some vegetarian item before even attempting to look at his app. And Dave stands over the ball for a solid 15 seconds prior to swaying back into that weird swing that perplexes us all. It's hard to argue with his method based on his skill, but if Dave was a 25+ handicap he might find himself at the bottom of this list.

Danny -  He's currently our worst golfer (by handicap), but there are a few other areas to address. The biggest thing that comes to mind is he's simply too polite. We should all be playing ready golf, but Danny will address his ball, practice swing, and then look around to see if anyone is near their ball. If so, he'll step off and tell them to go first. A true gentleman, but not conducive to quick play. He also tends to be a "multiple practice swing" guy, desperately trying to get his feels right. There's opportunity ahead for Danny if he practices on the range, and not on the course. He could also get that handicap in the low-20s with better course management... but we're not expecting miracles here.

Katie - The fastest thing about Katie last season was that she showed up to one event. During her absence, she married a PGA teaching professional, who has somehow given her better instruction than her father (also a PGA teaching professional). Nobody in the Club is more coached than Katie, and her recently reported rounds indicate that she's even starting to play like a pro! Unfortunately, those guys are embarrassingly slow. We long for the time when Katie sucked at golf, but was quick about it. Now she stands over the ball longer than Dave as she goes through a mental checklist of every instructional tip known to man. If anything doesn't feel right, she needs to back off and restart the process. We're genuinely happy she's improving, but slow is slow. Pull the trigger, Katie Na!

Gorecki - Our Dear Leader has already pointed out some of his biggest issues. Groecki simply doesn't have much of a natural swing. That's fine, but needing to re-engineer every time you step up to the ball with a jerk, a sway, a cleaning, a whatever else he does is maddening to watch. Range time is the prescription for this 25+ handicapper. Knowing that he's easily rattled should cause him to try to play faster, not slower — especially on putts. Less thought and more feel would help him immensely, but instead we watch in horror as he waits until his "turn" to even look at the break. And when he putts it to just beyond "gimmie zone," he's obsessed with marking and going through his "routine." Ironically, nobody misses more 2-footers than Gorecki, and yet he continues to grind over them. The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over, and expecting a different result. Gorecki will always be slow until he untethers himself from his mental crutches.

Tall Mike - Everyone knew this was coming. He stated after Grasslands that he intentionally slows down if you ask him to speed up. Club Rule #14 says: "Don't be a dick," and this is what dicks do. They selfishly create issues for an entire course of people just so they can somehow be vindicated as the slowest golfer ever while not being "told what to do." This BGR reporter is against putting Tall Mike in the last group. Instead he should go out first and the entire FBGC should suffer the same pain as the rest of the golf course behind us.

I'm just waiting for the day where the Group of Death (which will include Tall Mike and Gorecki for sure) is forced to skip a hole and they are unable to complete a round. Maybe that will wake some folks up. I might even be willing to call in some complaints to the clubhouse just to prove a point.

Week 4 - Match Play Preview

It's been three years since we last played at Waterlefe, which is criminally too long. Not just because I excel there (more on this later), but because I truly believe it's the best routing of any course on our rota.

Format
Remember the regular stroke-play tournament is still going on. So while your 5-foot putt might not matter for your match, you'll still need to putt out for stroke play. Your match just gets you extra points on the season.

Strokes for match play are 80% of your course handicap, with the higher golfer stroking off the lower golfer. We'll make a picks post later for those of us who like to gamble some drinks.


Pairings and Pace of Play
Pace of play is a big problem in golf, and we are obviously not immune to it. Group 3 last event (Buchert, Tall Mike, Gary, Reid) were almost two holes behind on the FRONT NINE at one point. I saw them teeing off on the par-3 10th, with Group 2 walking off the par-4 11th green.

The same sort of spacing happened Week 2, with a group consisting of: Gary, Tall Mike, Troy and Paul (Troy's guest).

And in Week 1, the final group of Brendan, Geoff, Gorecki and Katie finished 20 minutes behind the group in front of them. Enough time for everyone to unload their clubs a mile from the clubhouse, come inside and wash up, order drinks, and amass on the final green to heckle Gorecki. Embarrassing.

The point is... this shouldn't be a constant problem. Alas, I receive multiple complaints each week by annoyed Members paired with slow golfers. It would be awesome if I wasn't the only one who had to be an asshole and call people out about things (not just this). I have a funny idea of creating a "gossip column" on the side of the blog where I just post any complaints from the previous week about any Member, along with who said it.

Anyway... at least one of our Members is working on a FBGC Pace of Play Power Rankings, which will shine a light on some of the issues. But we can still take some action this week.

Tall Mike has often been quoted saying: "The more you tell me to speed up, the slower I'm going to go. Just to piss you off." He said so again as we left Grasslands last week. Fair enough. We can't control how fast he wants to play.

We can control the pairings. So when I saw #1 vs. #2 this week was Gorecki vs. Tall Mike — combined with the fact Crum (sponsored by JW) is bringing a friend — the solution was simple: boot the slow Mikes to Group E. With sincere apologies to the guys in the cellar, of course (#playbetter).

So enjoy the extra range time. Go slow over every shot to prove a point (I guess?). Jerk your shafts and grind over 2 foot putts when you know damn well what the break is.

Most of us will be enjoying the clubhouse (or halfway home, if you're Reid) by the time you finish.

Perhaps some of the attitudes on slow play will change. But in the meantime, the Board will continue to monitor the situation on a weekly basis and alter pairings if needed. We can't ruin the experience of the masses on account of the few.

Oh, and saying "well we played in 4 hours," is not a thing. Your responsibility is to keep up with the group in front of you. Stop destroying the game by bragging about playing at the slowest allowable pace.

Course Analysis and History
Now the fun stuff...

Lots of tee options at Waterlefe for you to consider. I have an older card, so while the slope/ratings have changed, I'm not sure about the distances. Anyway, everyone is on the BLACK tees (mix of blue/white) except for:

Dave & Melberg on BLUE (unless they tell me otherwise)

Gorecki on WHITE (only tees he's ever played there)

Katie on PINK (mix of green/red)

If anyone wants to change let me know ASAP. I'm probably moving up for the first time ever since I only lose a stroke (#strategy).

------------------------

In the six times we've played Waterlefe, Chandler (hey, that's me!) has finished: 1st, T2, T1, 1st, 4th, and 3rd. That is easily the most dominate performance in Club history on a specific course. But with a 9.0 index, I can guarantee a victory is out of the question this year.

History says that -1 (adjusted net) would be a really good score. In fact, only once has someone gone lower than -1 (adjusted net).

On the other end of the spectrum, we've only had 10 pitchers in 54 rounds, which means most people will finish around +5 (net). Basically... there usually isn't a ton of actual carnage.

So who's the favorite? I'm going with Reid, Darren, and wildcard Danny. The first two only need to shoot 86-ish. Reid has had success at Waterlefe, including a victory the last time we played it. Darren, on the other hand, is kinda garbage out there. Danny just needs to shoot in the 90s and he wins.

------------------------

One final Flashback:

The last time we played Waterlefe was the 2017 Match Play event. Dave handed Gorecki the 2nd worst beat down in Club history — 9&7 — after Gorecki shot a 64 on the front nine and walked off the course. This was the infamous "Pool Pump Incident," which took place on the 7th hole when Gorecki argued his ball was in bounds by pointing at a PVC pipe coming out of a pool pump. I believe there is a plaque out there marking the spot.

The nine holes Gorecki completed were part of his record 70 hole stretch without a par.

See you Sunday.

The Classic - Summer 2020 Recap

JW is now a 3-time winner on Tour, capturing his first non-Hangover event. It was a career best for him in the Club, with a lifetime best nine hole score of 36 (gross). Faz reports his previous best nine-hole score on Tour was +5 (41) at the now defunct (in our minds) Tarpon Woods.

But his victory wasn't without some excitement. JW attempted to Casey the tournament away with triple on 14 and an ugly quad on 17. Watching from the final group, we knew 18 wasn't going well either after seeing a club-toss. Fortunately for Dub, he salvaged a bogey.

Geoff, needing only a double-bogey 7 on the final hole to tie JW, found himself 115 yards out in two after a couple of clutch swings under pressure. Geoff was also going to shatter his personal best round ever of 89 on a par 72 course.

Of course... he puts three shots in the water and rides BIPSIC for an unnatural 10. Game over. JW wins.

It was terrifying to watch, and also magnificent at the same time.

Geoff finished 2nd, while Gorecki notched another top-5 finish. I'm going to keep us on DEFCON-3 for now. The standings are too tight at the top (13 people can jump him next event) for us to worry. We also held a mock Rapture draft in the clubhouse and Gorecki was last picked. So the Consumer Confidence Index isn't high on him... yet.

----------------------------

Speaking of the Rapture, a couple of timely entries into The Classic kept two of our members qualified. The standings are now locked. I'm still in the process of booking us for the last weekend of September (24-27th).

Tall Mike - first pick
Big John - second pick
Casey
Troy
Chandler
Gary
Gorecki
Reid
Adam
Geoff
Faz
Dave
JW
Danny
Brendan
Buchert

Alternates:
Ho
Darren
Katie
Melberg

Sometime within the next couple of weeks I'll need to make things official, and that's when the alternates can jump in as qualified people bail. Tall Mike will be rolling the dice with baby due dates (again). Brendan and John might have a wedding conflict. Adam might be on a boat. Ho has a work issue. Katie has basically said she's skipping no matter what.

Basically... Melberg might be in even as the last alternate. Nothing is set in stone. And we won't draft until we have better commitments from you people.

----------------------------

We're off this weekend for 4th of July. The following week we have Match Play at Waterlefe (10am). Pairings are set with the exception of whatever wrench Darren's "maybe" is causing.

See you then.

Rapture Dates - Update

Based on my last inquiry, I'm locked in the basement researching plans to hold the Rapture on September 24th-27th.

However, just in-case I need to look beyond those dates, you can click THIS LINK and fill out a form with your availability for that week and the following three weekends.

If you don't fill it out, I'll assume you're fine with whatever.

Breaking News - Schedule Update

The Board has unanimously voted to shuffle the schedule so the Hangover is later in the season, in hopes that the MacCOVID has died down a little bit. This week will be the previously rained-out Classic.

TL;DR: Golf at Grasslands is still ON. Bowling on Saturday is OFF.

All other details shouldn't concern you. See you on Sunday... 11:36am tee time.

Week 3 - Preview & Hangover Info

John has reserved us 4 lanes at 8pm Saturday at the PinChasers on Hillsborough. It's right next to the Vet, and should be easy for all the Westchase guys.

It's been years since attendance was mandatory, so I really don't care if you show up or not — especially after the virus killed Danny (RIP). But if you're not comfortable meeting up (as if you were going to anyway)... at least make a comment so we can adjust the reservation accordingly.

Hangover moved to a later date.

-------------------

We've only successfully played Grasslands once. Each nine is a completely different experience — with the front being open and fun... and the back tight with OB and water.

Darren destroyed the field with a round of -9 (net), 80 (gross).

I still like the -4 (net) number to be a target, so we can once again eliminate Chandler, Faz and Dave who must shoot 76-ish to be in the hunt. I'll pick Brendan, who will be completely sober and only needs to post an 87.


-------------------

Rapture Update:

Casey is skipping Sunday because the course is too far away and too late in the afternoon. Which means, Big John and Tall Mike will officially be our 2020 Rapture Captains. It's still not determined which one of them will have the first pick.

John needs to beat Tall Mike on Sunday by 258 points to retain the first selection. The 2nd-pick team won the first three Raptures, leading me to think there was some sort of bias. But the team with the 1st pick has now been victorious the following three years. Very strange.

Our official dates are going to be September 24th-27th, checking in on Thursday and then playing Friday through Sunday. The lesser event known as the Ryder Cup was the same weekend, but will probably be cancelled this year. We are going to be the only game in town. The World will be watching.

Boozer's Golf Review - Southern Hills Update

Southern hills is one of the staples of the FBGC season. From what we at the BGR are hearing it may become a once a year event from here on out based on the takings from Gary and his progeny, our dear leader. This is a course that should rate highly but due to various offenses over the years has never made it past 2/3's of a 6er. The biggest issue the BGR is staring down at the moment is that we get taken up to this slightly above average boozing venue twice a year to get great service at the grille, which is currently closed, strong yet annoying service from the former cart girl, who believes the Florida gator football team somehow saved her friend’s life at Shands (before that was a girl who got mauled by a pit bull, Brooksville am I right), and a pretty strong golf course, which was less that desirable according to Mr. Po-ta-dough head today. One of our BGR boys paid just ahead of our dear leader today and heard him getting the “legacy rate” while the rest of us peons pay full boat. Perhaps this authoritarian regime needs to be put in check by us boozers. 

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning

Southern Hills has always been a semi-private course so rest assured that you can buy booze before 11am. That is of course assuming the grille isn't closed and the upstairs is open...they weren't at 10am.

Thrifty boozing

We do appreciate the fact that SoHilly prints gratuity not “service charge” on the receipt so you know where the extra 20% is going. We don’t appreciate that it is not made very clear there is grat included (we’ve paid $25 for a 6er a few times out there). We will give them props for taking the Euro style of charging in that they say it’s $20 for a 6er and it sure enough is $20 all in. If they were tall boys, not twelvers, they would be on the mark but 33% less beer is 33% less beer. 

On course service

The aforementioned gators fan either has COVID and was unable to make it or moved on to bigger and better things. Regardless, the new, quiet yet cute, beer angel (we do not endorse the term “beer b*tch”) proceeded to sit on hole 1 for all five groups to pass and then did not make another on course appearance until hole 17 for group A. This is frankly unacceptable. Haven last week stocked the bar as requested, saw us on hole one, and then proceeded to check in every 4-5 holes, while covering three 9s. Let’s just say we are less than impressed. 

Clubhouse Experience

The grille has been great the last few times out, but us drunkards were forced to the upstairs on this Father’s Day. The upstairs patio was nice, but the railing interferes with any view you have of the course. Rumor has it that some members took it upon themselves to buy high tops to see over the railing, but we didn't get one of those tables. Service was great up there, though, and the food was solid. No pitchers, so 4 pints had to suffice for those of us who sucked a little too much.

Pissability 

We always get a kick out of rolling off of 14 and seeing the signs that say “this is the last stop before the clubhouse please respect our neighbors.” They have added a new one after 15, or our booze addled minds noticed for the first time, that says “please respect our neighbors and wait till the clubhouse.” I think the signs speak for themselves. Old misses pee pee watcher is out on this course and will report any sightings of Pygmy white/brown/black snakes.

Rumored to be actual footage from the course

Overall

Southern Hills is probably the closest thing we have to a home course, but the boozer's are ready to see that change. They are getting a downgrade to 3 beer status. I think their previous 4 beers was based more on the course and the frequency with which we went to Brooksville but no more. There is a COVID factor that comes into play here, but when you stack it up side by side with the 5 beer Countryside it loses in every category. Less beer for the money, terrible cart girl, and only one bathroom per side with too many Karen's looking to get you in trouble. Tempted to knock it down to a two, but the did let the papoose in and they will always serve early.

Grasslands Scorecard

Everyone is on WHITE (Katie on RED) unless you tell me otherwise. See scorecard below. Look on the event page to see the slope/ratings.

We're currently FULL for this weekend.

Week 2 - Summer 2020 Recap

What a weird day.

We were told the conditions at Southern Hills were good... and they weren't. Casey looked unbeatable... until he wasn't. The cart girl held a lot of promise... until she decided to not do her job.

At least most of us shot under the temperature.

Casey's 35 (gross) on the front nine was a thing of beauty. He played solid all day, despite a few late three-putts and untimely double bogeys. He probably should have won.

But when Tall Mike posts an 83, which beats his previous personal best at that course by 6 strokes, there's really nothing anyone can do about it. Excellent round by a three-time league Champion.

-----------------------------

This week is the Hangover, and John set us up out at Grasslands. It's later than we usually play (11:36am), but that's part of playing private clubs. Everyone owes John $42 when you arrive. Don't bother checking in, he will handle everything for us.

He's also going to be booking us at a bowling alley the night before. Troy approached me with the idea awhile ago and it's a good one. Check on the blog for details, and bring some hand sanitizer. Bring some money to gamble as well.

-----------------------------

Next week is the last round that will count for the 2020 Rapture qualification. You'll see on the current standings we have exactly 16 people qualified. Buchert will be back on the list assuming he plays on Sunday. Danny is also going to drop OFF the list since he's unfortunately has been banned for the next week.

So I expect the alternate list (based on rounds played and then average points) to be: Danny, Darren, Katie, Melberg.

I thought the captains were set, but they aren't. John is dropping off a Major victory (tied w/ Gary), which could take him out of the top two if he puts up a goose egg. Our Rapture captains will be some combination of John, Tall Mike, and Casey.

More details to come later this week.

Week 2 - Preview and Anal-ysis

For the first Major of the year, we'll be playing in the Bird Sanctuary known as Southern Hills. While you may notice a birdie or two out on the course, the real excitement is an albatross lives somewhere on property. Maybe you'll see him.

So majestic.

Anyway, we have five groups again. First tee time is 10:10am. Cost is $65ish.

Random pairings this week. We'll do that live tonight at 8pm on the Twitter. Again, those of you who don't use that service are NOT missing out on anything. Just the validation that it is (or at least "appears") random. We do have some special requests this week that I reluctantly granted.

Outside of that... it's Southern Hills. You know what to expect. This will be our 16th event at this course, which is ranked on the "fun" end of the spectrum. With the new handicap calculation, the winning score is usually -4 (net).

Historically, Darren and Dave play this course the best, with a -1.5 and -1.0 net average. JW, Ho, and Gorecki are the worst with +4.7, +7.0 and +7.3 net averages.

Using -4 (net) as a baseline — Melberg, Chandler, Dave and Faz all need to shoot in the 70s. So get them out of here. Ho and Gary need 80s, and we just mentioned Ho sucks at this course. So he's gone. Gary will probably be near the top with a low-80s round but not a winner this week.

Gorecki needs a 96, which would put us at DEFCON-2. His lowest recorded league round out there is 100. I'm not counting it out, but the blood will be on the hands of whoever is in his group and let him shoot under 100. Katie, Geoff and Brendan did a terrible job last week protecting our future.

So from the rest of you scrubs not mentioned, I like Brendan, Tall Mike, and Troy, who can reach -4 with an 87, 86, and 89 respectively. Although... none of them have ever recorded scores in league play that low on Southern Hills.

See you out there.

Boozer's Golf Review - Countryside Update

League is back, despite the attempts of COVID and weekend rain, we got week 2 in on what was generally a really nice day. In true BGR style JW, Big John, Faz and Melberg proceeded to get a practice round in on Saturday with the BGR members turning it into an all-day bender that ended with one of us sleeping on the steps and the other one of us having to surrender some of the power. Countryside was originally reviewed in Volume 15 and had retained its 5 beer rating coming into the day.

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start early

Due to COVID hours, the ability to buy booze in the clubhouse before the round and get a nice breakfast sammy was not available. However, Haven was up and running right off the bat we were able to purchase the first 6 pack and a couple of mules after just the first hole.

On-course Service

Haven is by far the most superior beer angel that God has released to his beloved boozers. On Saturday she said she thought she was out of mules in the can. I offered to pick some up and she said she would be happy to ice and serve them for us. Due to the aforementioned bender this did not occur, but she persevered and found an extra case in the back so we were stocked first thing in the morning. She was also nice enough to extend the 20% member's discount to our group.

Thrifty Boozing Conditions

One of the reasons Countryside has been rated so well is that they only charge $20 for a 6 pack of tall boys. That deal is still in place and with Haven extending the discount it may be one of the best deals around.

Clubhouse Experience

Once again COVID has reduced the amount of staff that the clubhouse can have working at any given time so the service was a little spotty but overall I think they did the best they could with the tools they had.

Pissability

There are bathrooms every few holes still, but the ability to visit nature when it calls is really next to 0

Overall

Coutryside is going to retain its rating. Would probably be a 4 if not for the COVID adjustment factor, but when that is taken into account it retains a high 5 status. I'm not sure it will ever be able to push over the top due to pissability, but if anyone can overcome that short coming Haven and Countryside would be my pick.

Sunday - Full

Sunday is officially full. Danny McCovid didn't change his RSVP so... I guess he's an alternate in case anyone bails? Hopefully he wasn't planning on playing.